ONLINE DATING: FIRST EXPERIENCE; PART 7c

AND AS I WAS THERE TRYING TO ABSORB IT ALL… AND TRYING TO VALIDATE MY REASONS FOR NOT WALKING AWAY FROM THIS DECEPTION… SELFISHLY JUSTIFYING LEADING HIM ON… HE KINDLY AND LOVINGLY WAS TRYING TO SHOW ME WHY WE WOULD BE GOOD TOGETHER…

 

“Yes I love you Love is a perfect feeling… we have that right? That is how I define it.” He answered.

“And what about my lack of exposure?” I again asked.

‘My world will evolve…I will make things happen as they need to baby…I am capable of many things… but most of all. I am a pleaser… So I make the people I love happy.’ He has me know.

You are up there and I am down here.” I say to him.

No silly,” he said. “Nobody is up or down… it’s just timing…and I am a space planner for a living! I’ve got this! 

Black or white? I asked. 

He laughed at me, “ha-ha!!! No such thing! It’s all grey scale.

I sent him two more smiley faces; . “You got this… I said to him. “You are so funny and I love it.”

Perfect!” He exclaimed. “So trust me baby…. The sky isn’t the limit! I am a pilot.

And I sat there reading all this stuff he is saying and I don’t have one thing to contribute; and I am wondering… how does he come up with all this? How does he find all the right words to convince me and to reassure me…? I did not even remember that a minute ago I was disturbed and apprehensive. He has a way with me He knows exactly what to say to put my mind at ease. And again I was I awe of him.

And so I said to him, “are you from this planet?”

We will be perfect baby… he was assuring me, “but I promise I will not rush anything ok.” And then he laughed, “Ha-ha! Yes I am an earthling.

 Then I agree with him that the sky is the limit.( I misread… )“Because you are out of this world” I told him.

I really was just sitting there admiring him and wondering if everything that he is saying, he means. He can’t be this nice and sensitive and just plain wonderful, But, he is; And he still can’t be mine; and how I wanted him to be mine ;{ God let me have him I pray}

I was so blinded by my intense emotions and my raging desires… and all I was feelings was this profound admiration and love ❤️ for a man I don’t hardly know … only just his words.. But… right now… all that matters is him.. and this most awesome connection I can’t explain….

Now Nita… he called me… don’t be silly… Nita…

Oh my!” I said

he made some suggestive comments…

“Really?  “I ask him back.

I need to know my girl come huge before she went to bed.” He told me.

 I have already taken care of that earlier’ I informed him.

“So think of having……. (he continued with his suggestions)

OMG! I squeal.

And you will again! He told me. “And oh man!!! That is hot!

I’m actually feeling like it again.” I informed him. “You better stop because I’m going to explode with pleasure.”

Then he gave it to me,” so think about me between your legs ……..(and in great  depth.. he gave me details of what he would do with me…) give your man our passion…. I need to swallow you.

He is so goood at this; I thought. So I told him, “You should write an erotic book”

I wanted so much to join in with him.. but didn’t wanna blow my deception… so I let seduce me wholeheartedly and I love ❤️ every word… every detail of his erotic scenarios…

He laughed at my comment,”Hahaha!! Cum for me baby,’ he begged.

So I told him, “okay I’m Cumming!’  and he continued… He was still saying. Good girl!!!! I love it.”

You are so bad! “I said of him. But goood for me.”

Nita, ‘he called my name, “I’m jerking off.” He let me know.

“Oh my” I said

Oh’… I said.

we have a little sexual session and he took me to heights I never knew I could reach virtually.. I kinda forget in that moments about all my struggles to walk away.. I was having so much fun.. and just enjoying the sexual energy that we were experiencing …

And the app locked up!!! It was amazing to cum together.  He let me know. “Ok pretty girl let’s sleep… night sweet girl … sorry I kept you up!

Oh please don’t be … I told him. ‘The pleasure was all mines… night sweet Allen… love you.

Night Nita… and I love you too! And we ended our conversation.

I went to sleep a little troubled but relaxed from our little session.  (It’s so funny 😂 how very quickly I forget that I didn’t want any sexual insinuations.. but….my desires for it was so intense… and he knew it.. ) My mind was still at war with the decision of us. I was still a little surprised to know he is in love with me…I was feeling on the top of the world but… Every time I thought of him gone it gives me an enormous anxiety attack.  But how can I  lead him on much longer; I started to feel very guilty about my actions and know, losing him is actually the only choice I had. I knew he would never like me no matter what; I look at me in the mirror; I put Paige’s photo next to mine, there’s no comparison, whatsoever;  I could not see how or where he would ever consider me;  It did not make me feel too good.

And I drift off to sleep with mixed feelings…intoxicatingly happy…and so sad…

He loves me…. but… I can’t hold on to him… 


To BE CONTINUED…….

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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79 thoughts on “ONLINE DATING: FIRST EXPERIENCE; PART 7c

  1. Hi Nita! I’ve been reading through your ‘experiences’ – wow! You really have a way of leading the reader along, especially when you hint at things to come. Plus I’m dying to find out whether Allen will ever find out you’re not Paige. Well done 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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