JOKE OF THE DAY…

So funny πŸ˜‚ I felt compelled to share..

Happy weekend y’all…


The Day the Penis asked for a Raise 
I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons: 
I do physical labor.
I work at great depths. 
I plunge headfirst into everything I do.
I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
I work in a damp environment.
I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation. 
I work in high temperatures.
My work exposes me to contagious diseases. 
Sincerely,
P. Niss

The Response
Dear Penis:
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons: 
You do not work 8 hours straight.
You fall asleep after brief work periods.
You do not always follow the orders of the management team. You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations. 
You do not take initiative – you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
You don’t always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the Correct protective clothing.
You will retire well before you are 65.
You are unable to work double shifts.
You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed the assigned task.. 
And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags.
Sincerely,
V. Gina

TOO FUNNY NOT TO PASS IT ON ! HOPE IT MADE YOU LAUGH

223 thoughts on “JOKE OF THE DAY…

  1. The Soumyadeep

    “[…] You will retire well before you are 65. […]” Who said? Mr. Niss can last an eternity πŸ˜… and and and check your facts, it isn’t “two bags” but two suspicious objects in a bag that concern Ms. Gina. πŸ˜‚

    Liked by 3 people

                    1. Coyote from Orion

                      Great. It’s not a very mature culture here. Australian managers aren’t exactly sought after…. in fact being sent here from Europe or the US is not exactly a great honor or promotion. Lol. And we know it when they come in and try and impress us.

                      Liked by 1 person

                    2. Coyote from Orion

                      Yeah my grandfather was from Aberdeen in Scotland. All that family’s money is in the bank of Caribbean now. He married a Romanian and was cut out of that family. My great granfather lost all the women of the family to yellow fever in Africa and he left my grandfather at 12 years of age here in Melbourne Australia

                      Liked by 1 person

                    3. Coyote from Orion

                      The bloke is spoiled. His mother and step father are ridiculously wealthy. His stepfather and my folks go back a long way. Jamie was a great fun guy etc… Women went gaga over him. He looked like Hendrix. Then he would open his mouth and any one with him quickly got attention from the ladies. His problem was he had it all handed to him

                      Liked by 1 person

                    4. Coyote from Orion

                      A lot of things he wouldn’t do to get better that others around him did. He never recovered from some strange experiences. Cigarettes and whoring is all he wanted to do. Last time I saw him he refused to talk about facts

                      Like

                    5. Coyote from Orion

                      Totem. A lot of stories. Some very long. All authentic and all entwined. What do you associate with Aquarius most strongly in yourself Miss Nita?

                      Like

                    6. Coyote from Orion

                      Australians are generally very materialistic. I have traveled a bit. I have tertiary degrees though dropped out of high school. Hit rock bottom young and came back up

                      Liked by 1 person

                    7. Coyote from Orion

                      Getting it together can upset some people. Lol. I do things properly. I put down booze, and everything I considered a poison over 17 years ago. My physical health is rude for someone my age. Girls I buy coffee from still thought I was in my mid 20s before Christmas. I meditate and have done martial arts and sciences for a long time

                      Like

                    8. Hmm πŸ˜’??? A little confused πŸ€·β€β™€οΈ here…

                      Your physical health is “rude “.. for your age??

                      Please explain that…

                      So you look much younger than you are??? Right???

                      Does meditation and martial arts contribute to your youthful look..

                      And lastly.. please clarify..
                      ” getting it together can upset some people “…

                      And good 😊 job giving up booze and everything thing toxic..

                      Liked by 1 person

                    9. Coyote from Orion

                      Rude physical health means unusually good. A bloke who works in my network got jailed several years ago unjustly. He is now 76. The judge described Brian’s physical health as rude because when a 26 year old hero tried to kill him… Brian at 73 took care of the drug thug working for the prosecutor. Brian is hilarious. He’s mad but an absolute gentleman. Hasn’t drunk in over 30 years. Medal of Australia for getting people off the streets. 300 push ups a day etc… i go and visit him and he forgives most of those involved in putting him in. The guards love him because he is rehabiliting other men. It is sort of funny how we can live anywhere doing the right thing. Money comes and goes

                      Like

                    10. I love ❀️ astrology. And I love the sunset πŸŒ… and sunrise πŸŒ…..
                      the Stars ✨ on a clear warm night..
                      where you can sit down in the sand on the beach 🌊 and look πŸ‘€ up.. and enjoy 😊 wonder of the universe..
                      but that’s as close as I come to astronomy

                      Liked by 1 person

                    11. Really???
                      That’s so cool.

                      I only love ❀️ the zodiac signs.. and love to know what they represent…
                      I believe that they hold the truth about the signs..and people

                      Like

                    12. Coyote from Orion

                      40. Done a lot of work. Dropped out of corporate health sector some years ago. I write a lot now and I do a bit of volunteer work based on my learning needs. I have a lot of skills. Living single means I am a jack of all trades… master of one or two

                      Like

                    13. 40.. eh..
                      So you are an author…
                      Single..??
                      lots of skills???…
                      Master of a couple..??
                      Hmm πŸ˜’???

                      I noticed you didn’t mention a wife or children…

                      I hope 🀞 that means you are divorced..

                      Liked by 1 person

                    14. Coyote from Orion

                      Never married. No kids. I really hit rock bottom and when shit was bad it wasn’t all about what I wanted. I don’t have much respect for bringing life into the world because my ego wants to. Just like I never drank drove. Killing someone’s kid would have made it hard to get a drink and I have no right to kill an innocent. A lot of piss weak people have made a mockery of the legal system and couldn’t handle 3 days of some of what a few of us endured for months and years

                      Like

                    15. True..

                      So glad 😁 you see you rise above it all.. and overcome whatever it was..

                      Keep up the great job. And just keep forward.. and upwards…

                      Thanks for being responsible enough to never drink 🍹 and drive..
                      losing a love one ☝️ through someone’s carelessness is hard to accept..

                      Liked by 1 person

                    16. Coyote from Orion

                      My brother was killed when I was 19. It shocked me into thinking that other people had been through such hell before. No need to apologize πŸ˜‡πŸ˜‘

                      Liked by 1 person

                    17. Coyote from Orion

                      A fair bit going on. Am working on several things and no one is an island. One book I wrote was essentially about the fact that we all serve something

                      Liked by 1 person

                    18. Coyote from Orion

                      I publish under a pseudonym. If I publish some things at all. Most of my work is getting the ‘story’. Writing is a rhythmic and cathartic labor

                      Like

                    19. Coyote from Orion

                      Yep. We could be good friends in this way. I know you may be able to help me with things I need a strong hand to keep on track

                      Like

  2. Phil Ryan

    A stuffy, repressed Englishman (possibly played by Hugh Grant, we’ll see how the auditions go) sits at his desk and reads this post.
    “R” he emits at it’s conclusion, “Th th this is nothing but pure filth and smut!!
    Got anymore?”

    Liked by 1 person

                    1. Water πŸ’¦ logged…
                      but..
                      very happy 😊.. I bet..

                      Maaan.. the shower 🚿 can be very exciting..
                      and I’m very excited 😊 Visualizing you in the shower 🚿 ..
                      can I join you!? ???

                      Liked by 1 person

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