LETTING GO..

Question?????

When do you know when to let go of people that has been apart of your life for as long as you are alive..???

(Example.. relatives… siblings.. friends..)

All my life I have been treated with such distaste by my sisters and relatives..

I have suffered so much indignity. And live through so much indifference.. so much I became apathetic…

I never had much friends in my life.. and my sisters used to shun me and treated me as if they are so much smarter and better than I was…

And I actually allowed them to.. I give them control over me.. I think I was hoping if I give in they would accept me as a part of their group.. and I remember wanting so much to be …

but..

All that happens was they just make fun of me.. I was like their biggest joke..

And how did I respond to all that..

by withdrawing more.. and hiding myself behind closed doors.. feeling sorry for myself.. trying to figure out why am I so different.. why can’t they like me..

As I get older I learn how to be a loner.. I eventually find a friend or two..which lasted to this day…

And I have learned to let go of all that mistreatment.. and try to have a normal relationship with my sisters..

But..

I guess old habits are hard to let go.. because I still see them treating me with the same attitude.. which I mostly ignored..

I have changed..

why can’t they..

as adults.. our lives are almost on the same level..

I was the first to achieve and accomplished progressively… due to a very smart choice… I got married to my friend… and so I was in the position to help them both until …

they eventually did too.. yet they still look down at me as if they are way above me…

And the funniest thing is .. I still try to get their approval.. still try to win their friendship and love..

But..

I come to realize that it’s a losing battle..

And…

decides it’s time to let go of them.. they will never see me as equal or has someone to be proud of…

They are always gonna look down on me..

I don’t need them in my life…

Do I..??? Nah….

I have talked to my friends about my decision.. of course they all disagreed with me and my reasons..

And as much as I can understand and value their opinions and arguments..

I stand by my choice.. I think it’s for the best for me..

if I don’t have to interact with them… there will be no reason for me to think about them.. therefore all this feelings of rejection.. unloved.. unacceptance … will no longer affects me…

We have to do what we think is right for us….and I do think this is right for me..

I’m letting go of them.. I’m freeing myself.. cutting the ties that bind…

I have overcome it all by myself… without their help.. and if they could have been of assistance to me.. they’d refused…

I have grown.. I have learned … and I have accomplished..

I don’t need any ones permission to walk away.. and stay away… or to let go….

I’m content in who I am and where I have reached.. I have everything I need to be completely happy..

I have been duly blessed..with valuable friends and two amazing children

So I’m choosing to let go of everything that’s negative.. and only take time for all the positive influences in my world..

*****************

8 thoughts on “LETTING GO..

  1. The hardest ones to let go of are family. I had to do that with my mother and it was a hard decision. I went several years off and on for the last 12 without talking to her. Then we would mend some and I would let her back in.. .bit me in the ass every time. So now I keep her at arms length. We are talking again (I use that term lightly) but I will never trust her again. It is easier for me because we live 4 states away. My brother (who is the Golden child and favorite) lives nearby and has to deal with her but they had a serious issue not too long ago. His rose colored glasses finally fell off and he actually grew a set and will stand up to her now. His wife has helped him with that. She is awesome and surprising a lot like me! LOL! My brother and I have a good relationship but he keeps me at arms length as well and doesn’t trust me I think. I believe my mother has something to do with that, but I can’t change it. I have let that one go…
    You have to do what is right for you! And it sounds like you have made some good…albeit hard…decisions. No one has room in their life for poison and that is what toxic people are! ❤

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Wow 😮!!!

      So amazing when you realize that you are not the only one ☝️ going through and experiencing these situation in your life…

      I have struggled all these years with the thought but always come with a valid excuse why I should not..

      I have tried so hard to ignore.. put behind.. move beyond my feelings..

      But just like you… it always ends up biting me in the ass..

      Maan I’m so relieved 😌 and appreciative that you took the time to share with me your story…

      It makes me feel so much better about my decisions.. and make me know that I actually did the right thing..

      Letting go……

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Blood is thicker than water . We hear this all the time. I haven’t spoken to my sister for years now. Don’t see need to or want to. Call me stubborn but we don’t have anything in common except we were born to same parents.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Miss dewy..

      Nice seeing you.. girl..

      Oooh maan…

      Im so happy to see I’m
      Not the only one having this relationship with sisters…

      I was having real trouble coming to my decision… thinking morally it can’t be right….

      Thanks so much for sharing your story..

      I feel so much better now

      Liked by 1 person

  3. nkdwhtguy

    “We have to do what we think is right for us…” . 100% true Nita. Because I left home young (17) and spent my productive years overseas in the military I wasn’t close to my family. When I retired I made a half-ass effort to get close but it didn’t work. I came to realize I didn’t have much in common with my brother, for example. And when I saw his FB page photo with him wearing a “White Lives Matter” shirt I knew I wasn’t missing much.

    Like

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