EMOTIONAL OVER REACTION: part 1

This is my own personal choice and reaction.. that I’m not seeking advice or permission or even understanding…

But I want to share my story.. even though I expect to meet a lot of criticism and opposition to my choices And to my over reaction to something that is really “None of my Business “…. And to something that is not “My place to have a legit reason to defy…”

So here goes..

THE PASSIONATE LOVE 💕 FOR A CHILD

I have a granddaughter.. my son’s first baby ; my only granddaughter.. her mother is not the best of choice in my opinion…

But it’s my son choice:

She from West Virginia.. we are from Florida…

They lived with me for a year before getting pregnant….

They went to West Virginia to have this baby..

I understand her choice….it’s her home and her parents are there.. every girl needs mom and dad around for times like this..

I had feared at first that I would have lost my son because he would have chosen to stay in West Virginia..

But..

I understand his choice…it was his girl and his baby…

They spent five months and then they returned home with baby..I was very thrilled to get my son back home and very happy to have my granddaughter close..

She was two months old..

And they decided to come home because they wanted a baby sitter while they worked..

And I was more than willing to oblige..I didn’t think twice before I said yesss..

She was only two months when she came home.. she was not doing too well.. mom was feeding her bottle food.. adding cereal to he bottle..

which she couldn’t digest.. not feeding her on time..

Making her sleep for hours without waking her up to feed… it took a few weeks to convince her that she is hurting her baby’s health and that all she requires is just her formula..

She even stopped breastfeeding the poor baby because she ( mom) didn’t like it ..

I ended up having her more than they do over the next six months.. and I got to treat her and get her on a Right diet..

Mom is very lazy….

So I take up the responsibility of making sure everything for my granddaughter is taken care of..

If I didn’t wash her dirty laundry .. they wouldn’t be done..I had to walk behind them pick up Her clothes off their bedroom floor…

Be the bottle police ..to ensure that all her use bottles is always clean and sterilized regularly…

I was so afraid of her getting sick… I had to make sure her thermos is kept full of hot water for her bottle…

I watched my granddaughter progress with age from sitting up to rolling over.. crawling.. and then creeping…

I stayed up with her night after night while they worked till 2am in the morning…I didn’t mind because she wasn’t any trouble except that she wouldn’t sleep until they get home..

I understand … because every baby needs their parents especially at nights.. she was healthy and happy..

So after six months I became so attached to her.. she was apart of my daily routine….but I knew mom and dad was her comfort and happy place…

But mom didn’t take enough time with her.. she was always out or sleeping and when dad is around he has full responsibility while she either sleep or do whatever she pleases..

She doesn’t clean .. not her bedroom.. not the bathroom/ toilet…

My son enables her .. and when I try to say something about her behavior to him and complain that she needs to a mom.. he shuts me down asking me not to talk negatively about his girl..

So I stopped because I do understand why he asked me to stop…

I just keep on doing what needs to be done trying not to complain Over the months..

I accept how things are and even though occasionally I lash out for most part i just keep doing and know it is not going to change..

I still look at baby when needed..and I continue to do what is needed to be done…

And then at eight months when baby is knowing people and sticking more to mom and dad

Mom announced that she is going home for a vacation with baby..

I understand and encourages her visit.. after all it’s baby grandparents.

But then everything changes when she tells me that she is going to leave baby with her mom for approximately two weeks in West Virginia without her or dad around…

TO BE CONTINUED….,

My reaction and my feelings about her decision next..

24 thoughts on “EMOTIONAL OVER REACTION: part 1

  1. This sounds very irresponsible on the parent part of I must say and I do understand your concern. Although it’s important for the baby to be familiar with both sides of the family, dropping the child off in the lap of new grandparents and leaving is just wrong especially when you’ve been raising her. A new environment and new faces without the parents around can have an abandoning effect on the child. Your concern is valid.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Joker…

      Trust you to always be of great logic…
      And understanding…
      You will see in my next episode that we actually share the very same concerns…

      I really was for this little vacation in the beginning letting my son knows that her mom is actually # 1 grandma 👵 and that she needs to see her granddaughter…

      I am only against her leaving this baby so far away from her and dad for so long for reasons I will explain in my next episode

      Liked by 2 people

      1. I only think in long term scenarios as well as the now. Like I said, I share your concerns and being unbiased I can say you’re right to feel how you do. But I do feel it’s important to know both sides of the family but not in such a way as that. I look forward to how this plays out, but your support will be crucial and will play a key role. The last thing you want to do is push them away.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Hahahaha..

          And push them away for is what I have literally done..

          I feel it’s in my best interest to separate myself from the whole affair and harden my heart..

          Distancing myself is..what I do best..
          I take myself out of the equation all together

          Liked by 2 people

          1. 😊
            You don’t want to lose such a part you helped mold these past 8 months, your grand baby is going to be an integral part of your life. Hopefully your son realizes how important you are to his child.

            Liked by 2 people

            1. I do understand what you are saying..

              But I can’t do it and feel good about it…

              So that’s why I pulling away and out…

              Maybe somewhere down the line I might come back around..

              But not now..

              Let her deal with her baby her way without my interference…

              Liked by 2 people

                1. She’s a baby..
                  She won’t remember the love 💕 and affection after a while…

                  But I can’t do it..

                  Because I don’t want to have to go through this fighting for her well being every time this mom feels like she wants to do whatever she wants because it’s her child and she can…

                  I’m strange..

                  I never fight for love
                  Or friends…

                  I usually the one to walk away if I’m faced with any rivalry or competition…

                  I never waited around to find out the outcome…

                  And this is how I’m feeling right now..

                  I’m only grandma # 2

                  And my son gives her full custody without doubt…

                  And I’m only being used for baby sitting because grandma 👵 #1 refuses to take on that responsibility…

                  Mom has never said thanks…
                  She just expects me to be available because I’m her man’s mom

                  Liked by 2 people

                  1. I do see your point to some things but you spent the last 8 months caring for her, to say she won’t remember isn’t true, bonds may surprise you and kids remember.
                    Just because the mom may be stubborn right now, there will come a point where she will want to do what’s best for her child if she’s any kind of mother, if not, that’s where the father has to step in.
                    You don’t fight for love or friends? If we don’t stand for something, we’ll be sitting all our lives. Some things are worth fighting for, you just gotta pick your battles.
                    Grandma #2? You sound like number 1 to me, you raised her, cared for her and bonded with her, the other Grandma doesn’t want to watch her, let alone see her….doesn’t sound like number 1 material to me.
                    You can’t look at it as you bring used because you’re doing this from the heart, you’re not expecting nothing, sure some gratitude would be nice but when the child bonds with you and cries when she’s away from you, that’s all the proof you’ll need and so will they.

                    Liked by 1 person

                    1. Joker 🃏..

                      I always love when you can say and put things in context that makes more sense than meets the eye..

                      You understand so much without me even mentioning the facts…

                      And you are to read into it so well that you figure out the logics of the whole scenario..

                      But I’m just stubborn too.. and still so angry
                      With the fact that she is not here with them..
                      I guess when she finally is return to us

                      I’m not gonna be able to resist her…

                      But right at this moment I’m really trying to distancing myself…

                      And I really didn’t feel used when I had her..
                      I took take pride in taking care of her…
                      And I do love her like my own baby…
                      And I didn’t do it expecting any rewards..

                      It never occurred to me until I get angry at the mom for leaving her behind

                      Liked by 2 people

                    2. It’s rather easy for an unbiased eye to offer an equal opinion on a situation.😊
                      Putting oneself in another’s shoes can be easy with the work I done and do.

                      It’s easy to set yourself in stubborn mode when feelings are involved but you can’t let that control you. Pride is a powerful thing that needs to be set aside at times. When your grand baby is there, your disposition will change because of the attachment and you can’t let the feelings for her mother affect the relationship with her because kids pick up things very well.

                      Distancing yourself is only making the grand baby the victim in this family affair. The parents are uninformed right now so you have to be the voice and face of reason and not give up on her, by the way her mom is pawning her off, it seems she already has.

                      And it’s because you’re caring for her with no expectations that your feelings are so strong and now you are feeling this way, you almost feel betrayed for your work but just know that it’s not for nothing.

                      Her mother may be leaving her behind but it’s you that will be on that baby’s mind. Don’t you leave her behind.

                      Like

                    3. Joker..

                      You bring me to tears 😭..

                      Which is not so very easy to do… because I’m as cold as they come…

                      And detaching myself from things and people has always been my defense mode..
                      If I take myself out then It won’t affect me..
                      Always my logic..

                      But you are so correct on every level except the that I feel betrayed…
                      But I guess my actions would actually reflect something like that…

                      By deciding to stop caring for her.. will not be such a good idea…
                      Seeing and knowing firsthand that her mom is incapable of taking care of her to the fullest..

                      And knowing me and my attachments to this little angel 😇 I won’t be able to ignore it at all…

                      I want to..
                      I guess I’m was just because vindictive and spiteful..
                      Teaching her a lesson..

                      But as you pointed out.. the only person that all this will affect is my granddaughter…
                      And I have waited so long for her..
                      How I begged those boys to give me a granddaughter so I can have a little girl to pamper and love 💕…

                      So I’m so glad I told this story of my present live..

                      Because I have gotten a very new insight from you..
                      Which allows me to step back and look at my attitude to realize my actions is not suitable for this scenario.:.
                      And that I need to give it up and drop all my anger knowing that the deed is done and it was way out of my control..

                      I just have to move forward…and continue to do for little malanni the best I know how…

                      And I hope 🤞 you’re right about she missing me as much as I’m grieving her absence

                      Liked by 1 person

                    4. Even the cold can be thawed 😉

                      Detachment is a defense mechanism for people because it makes them feel safe, hey feel if they take emotions out of things, they won’t get hurt but we can’t wear mask forever because we don’t want to lose who we are underneath.
                      Actions reflect feelings, you may not feel you were betrayed but the scenerio represents you could feel that way with validity.
                      But continuing to pamper her is the best thing you can do because the love you show her will come back to you ten folds and she’ll remember, and grandparents already have magic bonds with their grandkids. She’s already attached to you, you just don’t know.😉
                      But by staying distant, your not teaching the parents a lesson, you’re just learning the hard way that the grand baby is the one getting hurt by the absence of your love, she’s not getting it from anyone else.
                      It’s been your dream to have a grand baby for so long, why not fight for it and enjoy her now that you have her?
                      Anger comes and goes, it’s just a feeling…a shortcut. Sometimes it’s better to take the long way and enjoy the scenery.😊
                      And trust me, kids are smarter than you think…..I used to be one.😉. She’s missing you, who wouldn’t?

                      Liked by 1 person

                    5. Awww 🥰!!!!

                      Joker !!!!
                      Joker!!!

                      You put it in words that I cannot deny…
                      And I see the truth and the logics in your advice…

                      And I’m receiving it with gratitude and with a complete new attitude…

                      What you are saying I have already tell myself a thousand times..

                      But I was convinced it’s just me not wanting to let go of my first little girl…
                      instead of placing it in the correct context..

                      I let my selfish self centered self misguided my thoughts and misplaced the true reason for all this… LITTLE MALANNI
                      I have a string of boys..
                      Thank you for helping me to reverse my thoughts from negative and make them positive…

                      It was never about us. Me ..mom… dad.. or grandma 👵 #1..

                      The focal point is And always should be.. “LITTLE MALANNI “

                      Liked by 1 person

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