EMOTIONAL OVER REACTION: part 2…

PASSIONATE LOVE 💕 FOR A CHILD

….But then everything changes when she tells me that she is going to leave baby with her mom for approximately two weeks in West Virginia without her or dad around……..

I immediately exclaimed…”no !!!!! Don’t do that…she will not do well without you or dad around… she will fret on you guys.. stop eating.. be depressed ..and she might get sick..”

Her explanation is that she promised her mom already..

I argued that this baby is not a puss kitten and she can change her mind if she wants and thinks it’s not in the best interest of her baby…

I beg my son to try to convince her and ask her not to leave his baby behind.. but he let me know it her choice as if he has no say in his baby’s well being..

I was very upset about her decision and I grow very angry because I was helpless in this situation… I keep thinking of my little malanni (granddaughter) crying for her mom and dad and how she would feel when she don’t see them around…

She was leaving in a couple of days and during those days all I talked about and gripe about is her leaving that baby behind…

I asked her on numerous occasions … please reconsider and don’t leave her behind ..

I think she feels as if I am being selfish and trying to keep mallani away from her mom…

But.. that was not my main concern..

Although the truth be told.. I didn’t fully trust her mom to be a good caretaker..

For one..

She is a smoker…a heavy smoker… not so good for little malanni and her lungs…

Two…

She is as lazy and messy as her daughter or more… this is where her daughter figured and learned…it’s the norm to live in a mess…

I’m not saying I’m better…At taking care of her…

But I have big doubts about her being responsible enough to make sure my granddaughter is properly taken care of..

But with all this knowledge…this was not my primary concern about her leaving the baby behind…

I’m so worried about the emotional impact it’s going to have on little malanni.. she’s old enough to know her parents and old enough to want them around for her comfort…

(How can a mother.. no matter how young she maybe…separate herself from her baby this way….how can she be so insensitive and cruel and so eager to leave her baby so far away just so she can have the freedom with no responsibility…??????!!!!! I can not comprehend her choice without any signs of remorse…?????)

The separation is not going to be good for little malanni…

After she leaves for West Virginia … I tried to talk to me son .. trying to convince him that again to ask her to reconsider her decision and to let her know that he is totally against being away from his baby for so long…

But…

He again asked me to stop interfering in his and his girls life…and that it is “NONE OF MY BUSINESS “…

I was really hurt by his comments…but I walked away without another word…

I’m having such a hard time dealing with this… I go to sleep and have nightmares about my granddaughter.. I get anxiety attacks thinking about her crying …wanting her mom and dad… I can hear her crying sometimes…it’s just my imagination but that’s how much it’s affecting me…and its even worse that I’m restricted from talking about it to them…

So I made a very conscious decision that I’m completely done with her and her baby…

I have decided to stay away from my granddaughter ..give up my duties as a nanny… stop with everything that I have been trying to do to help…

I really hope I can stick with this decision I have made when she gets back.. but for now.. I’m done…

I know it will seem as if I’m just mad because I couldn’t get my way…and that may hold some truth to it…and I reflect back to movies I have seen where these grandparents fights their children for their grandchildren…

And now I have a greater understanding as to why they would want to do this….it’s so hard to stand back and watch the mistreatment of these innocent babies without trying to step in …

I have talked and gripe to friends about the whole thing and tell them my decision…

And I have been met with a lot of opposition telling me she has done nothing wrong and that I’m over reacting to something that I really have no say in..

And I totally agreed..

But I’m strongly convicted to my choice.. and although no one shares my decision…it’s mine to make…

An yes I’m making a big deal out of it.. a case which I have no power of authority…

They shut me out and shut me up..and expect me to be eager to be of use only when they require me to be….

They are right… she is actually none of my business…

And I’m going to make her just that… I’m throwing a tantrum and I’m acting silly…

But I strongly believe what I’m doing and I have decided is the best for me..

*****^^^^******^^^^******

TO BE CONTINUED…

AN UPDATE ON HER RETURN…

16 thoughts on “EMOTIONAL OVER REACTION: part 2…

  1. No, you aren’t being silly at all. Your son and his girlfriend are happy to rely on you to look after their daughter while they’re off doing whatever, yet in the same breath state that her upbringing is none of your business. How dare your son be so disrespectful to his mother! If I gave my mum that level of cheek my dad would probably tear my head off, and rightly so! No, you’re doing the right thing. Leave them to it. Leave his scruffy, lazy-ass girlfriend to it. Withdraw all help and tell them to find their own way. If they don’t think you’re allowed a say then you owe them absolutely nothing. Stick to your guns, girl!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Maan

      Paul..
      I can always rely on you to fully understand my choices no matter how irrational they maybe…

      My son was really mean to me with his statement but…

      He is totally right…

      I’m hoping I’m can stick with my decision when LITTLE MALANNI IS here…
      And your thoughts echoes mine When you say…

      “If they don’t think you’re allowed a say then you owe them absolutely nothing. “

      That’s exactly how I feel…

      Thank you for making me feel good about it all…

      My anger is slowly dissipating..
      But I’m still so upset..

      Liked by 2 people

      1. I’d be more surprised if you weren’t upset. They’re kinda mugging you off. You deserve infinitely more respect than you’re being shown. I appreciate that your son is trying to do the right thing in showing loyalty to the mother of his daughter, but you can’t really defend the indefensible. Plus, you’re his mother and he owes you some loyalty too. At the bare minimum he owes you some gratitude for allowing his family to live under your roof.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. You are right on all levels..

          And he knows that’s I’m not pleased with his statement..

          But as a mom.. I too have to know when it’s not worth fighting about…
          And know that I need to walk away…

          It would be fighting a losing battle… I have to recognize him as an adult….

          Even if I’m defending the defensible..
          It’s still not an excuse for his disrespect..

          And of course he is losing his loyalty..

          Their lack of gratitude is just sad 😔 too…

          But as I said..
          I’m pulling out of the equation

          Liked by 2 people

            1. I’m just going with it… Paul

              And take it as it comes…

              Am still not sure 🤔 about how I’m going to deal with this situation when she gets back..

              It really seems forever
              And I’m kinda getting used to her not being here…

              I’m always a.
              “Out of sight out of mind..

              Kinda girl 👧..

              I will put a episode out upon her return

              Liked by 2 people

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