….. John woke up and saw me outside.. he came and asked if I was ready to go.. I told him yes..
I sat there thinking and wishing I did not made the choice I had.. and feeling so upset because apart from upsetting her I have ruin my Christmas plans..
I got up retrieved my things and said bye to her.. not getting a response..
And head for the car.. my son and I .. we had a good little conversation on our way… and he was very sympathetic to me.. he shows understanding and actually told me that he thinks she has more issues than she thinks he has..
I had to agree with that statement.. he gives me a few examples of her iritic outburst… which he thought was very unnecessary especially with her eldest… but he said she doesn’t receive advices or suggestions too well…
That was enough explanation for me..
It was their second anniversary so I asked him to go easy on her and try not to do or say anything to upset the day…
He dropped me off and headed back home..
It took me two days to overcome my feelings.. and on the second day I thought I’d send her a text apologizing.. hoping she would now be in a better frame of mind..
“Hey π Megan..
I do hope you are feeling much better today…
I’m so sorry π my visit took a turn for the worst…
I didn’t mean to upset π‘ you so badly..
I just wanted to spend some time with you and enjoy π your company..
So sorry π for what I have said to make you so π mad…
It was never my intentions..
I just hope we can move forward and beyond it..
And continue as friends..
I am not mad with you..
I know you are just going through a very emotional time right now. .. being in your last month of pregnancy π€° and all..
And have a family to take care of..
You are doing such an awesome π job sweet girl…
You are a strong girl and you are a most wonderful mom and wife…
Keep on doing what you are doing..”
It went unanswered..
I even tried to butter her up.. hoping she would smile..
Ooh well!!?? I guess I just better leave it at that..
The next two weeks to Christmas π was very emotional for me because for the very first time I’m not going to be celebrating π₯³ Christmas without John…
John came over Christmas Eve with ayden..
We went out to eat.. he spent a few hours then leave..
We had exchange Christmas π gifts π . And good wishes ..
So next day ( Christmas π Day) was just me and my younger son home.. I tried to make the best of it..
The day came and went very uneventful..
I got a text from John that Friday.. baby coming.. and a couple hours later.. he sent photos..
So baby was born at 10am Friday morning…
And just when I was getting over my emotional state .. here comes another reason for me to be sad π’…
I won’t be able to go see my granddaughter.. and I vowed that I would never go back to her home unless she personally invited me..
It’s been two weeks since the birth of my granddaughter..
And she did send some pictures to me and we had a little texting dialogue.. but I haven’t heard from her since..
And I’m not anxiously thinking that is an invite to resume connection..
So I will wait until she decided to do so..
I have been talking to friends about what happens.. and their suggestions have me looking at the whole scenario differently.. and at different angles…
One such suggestions is that maybe she wanted to cut John’s families out of the picture..
I don’t really care too much other than I’m not going to be able to spend much time with my granddaughter..
But I can do it if I have to.. I just find it so funny.. the extreme of it all..
Here I’m am left with total responsibility of my younger son daughter.. to the point that I have to ask him to give me a break..
And now I’m not going to be able to see this one at all..
I just can’t win for losing…
I will just have to let it all play out and deal with whatever comes..
Keep on being YOU, Nita. You’re a good soul and you do so much for everyone without asking for anything in return.
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Rob..
You talk like you know me that well
I do so much for everyone
But..
These days Iβm questioning myself and my actions…
And wondering with all the negativity Iβm getting …is it worth my continuous efforts…
And it seems like im the only one who see it..
So is it really valid…
I really feel like Iβm in this all by myself..
And I feel myself withdrawing into a shell π away from everyone.. in
Seclusion ..
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Rob..
You talk like you know me that well
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I think that I do.
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I guess you do rob..
Because you are so right in your analysis
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Good gracious!!!!!! Postpartum and babies are not kind to certain mom’s. Hoping she’ll get over her trauma sooner than later and invite you back to visit.
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Kris
Iβm not holding my breath..
Weβll see though
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