MY LOVE-LOVE: THE JOY AND PAIN OF AN UNFORBIDDEN LOVE: Introduction

A STORY OF PLAYING  THE COUGAR… WITH A VERY UNEXPECTED TURN .

*********************************************************************

It all started  with. Me working at ‘THE HOME DEPOT’  at the front end, as a cashier….working there, I found out that a lot of men passes through and me being who I am,  a flirt, of course I had a ball getting my flirt on; and we have a hundred plus workers with 75% guys…. and man with my personality … i had all these guys liking me… I was in my zone.
Being a cougar wasn’t ever my intentions… but the heart and the kitty wants what it wants

Of course.with all that attention, I started feeling very sensual and appealing…

they had a night crew starting at 10pm. I used to greet them as they walk in whenever I worked the closing shift.. there was this one guy; about 6’2″ .. good-looking… great body.. and a little young.. but old enough to catch my attention

Whenever I had to pleasure to see him walk in , I would smile brightly at him beamingly…and  say ever so sweetly

“Hey, How u doing”

He would smile that smile of his… raise his eye brow…. nod his head and say “Hi”.  And looking at me with desire.. I read a lot into his eyes and his sheepishly smile..

I was very tickled

  As he passes me by, I would lingeringly watch him walk away ….thinking….Mmm, nice guy .. smiling and fantasizing… wishing I could command a guy like him.. if only I was a little younger , I thought..

This continues for the rest of that year… and I would  look forward seeing him whenever I close.. he became a fascination with me… he really intrigued me and I longed for a chance to know him more…

I got my desire when…

HOME DEPOT’ decides to phase out the night crew and transfer all these night workers to days… and this guys became a loader,working outside helping customers with their purchases to their cars.. so he has to work with us cashiers… very much to my pleasure…I soon learn his name and I intentionally and quickly became his friend ….

having him working so close and seeing him most days; I start to flirt with him and of course he was gamed… I wasn’t very serious I was having my usual fun and enjoying the attention of a sexy gorgeous hunk of a guy…

But ….

He was so gamed and quite receptive to my little insinuations and innuendos.. he started to reciprocate

he began to return the flirtation ….me …of course was very tickled and quite pleased  …. making me feel all the more confident in my sensuality.

But I remain casual thinking and knowing … this little game of mine could never materialized

. It all continued for a couple months and around to September…

I was on a short break and as usual I seek him out to chitchat withwe were sitting down side by Side and he gently lean towards me.. and softly whispers….

“I can take you out now, I just made me some good tips” he told me one evening.”

I smiled blushing a little… I was a very flattered and felt real  good to have this guy years my junior liking me. ..  I  ask him his age and he told me ….I was a little surprised  because I had really thought he was a little older… 

so I said really? and confess to him that he is much too young for me… and I don’t do young men..

He laughed and comment confidently that it doesn’t matter… age is but a number..

I just shake my head thinking.. “maan if only he was older.. I really could.. I know I would…  I walked away smiling and feeling so so wonderful… all tingly and warm inside…a little disappointed.. but was grinning with pleasure knowing he finds me attractive enough to asked me out..

*****************************************************************************

I had two friends i worked with  At my first job… I worked the graveyard shift there….our favorite subject is guys and sex.. these girls are divas and they always have tales about their escapades…

I could only listen but couldn’t never participate.. so this was my chance..

So I mention to them, what was taking place between me and this young guy….about his attentions,  how much I am enjoying it…but how young he was and that I could not think of going there  with him because I was so much older

Of course WANDA & LYNN instead of agreeing with me they encourage me to go for it. “Try him out Max” they say. “You might just like him, and it might be good.”

I smiled and laugh at the idea, but … with their suggestions it had me thinking seriously about him…. and the thought started to appeal to me…

i find myself starting to wanting to be with him..and over the next few weeks  I started looking on this guy differently… building up a fantasy  with him and every time he flirts with me… I become more and more inclined and fascinated… Before you know it I’m seeing him in a different light and thinking of him sexually…. I was getting physically attracted to him.. creating intense desires…

The more he flirts with me.. the more my feelings escalatedand giving me more reasons to like him… and adding to my growing desires…

Home Depot hosted a cookout for us … their employees… on Labor Day

I was getting my food when I felt someone hugged me from behind.. He came up behind me wrapped his arms around me, pull me against his firm chiseled chest … and planting a big kiss on the cheek. I gasp with pure pleasure…I was so surprised…amazed and thrilled all in one. I turned to him with the most brilliant smile.. and he just smile back at me and wink … I got a huge emotional rush …I thought about that little incident as I sat there trying to enjoy my meal…I got goose pimples  And a fluttering heart with the thought of him kissing me..

As the weeks goes by I would seek him out to talk to  him every chance i got… I started to yearn  to be close to him…

He tells everyone I’m his girl, and I just played along loving the feeling he gives me… I was very pleased and my feelings grow with each passing day

He shows a lot of interest in me and over the next months I tried to learn everything I could about him during our conversations here and there…..

 Coming on to Christmas …One day in the outside garden he came up behind me while I was sitting down and put his arms around me and hold me close for a while. i just lean in into him enjoying the feeling of him , and experiencing a rush of adrenaline flow..

I could feel his heart beating against my backfeelings his arms tense as he hugged me closer… I leaned even closer into him feelings myself melting into his arms. And all too suddenly it was over

I enjoyed that hug so much I couldn’t get it out of mind.

it makes me wanting more and craving his touch.. I must have him …even once. …

I tell myself….

So I Boldly asked him ..if I gave him my phone number .. would he call me… I wanted to share my feelings with him and make the suggestion of us getting together..

.. he said he would…and I waited anxiously for that call that never came..

  After a couple weeks waiting in great anticipation..I ask him why he hadn’t make the call…says he was too busy. but promised he would…

I tried to be understandingand keep on hoping and wishing for that callbut realizing that he is not as interested in me as I had hoped or thoughtso I let go of the idea

We became inseparable… and going to work become so enjoyable just knowing that he is going to be there .. We  talk a lot and he told me all about himself…He has four  children, , he stated how much they mean to him. I was surprised to learn he has so many kids at his age….but was very impressed that he was being a good father..

Then he mention His jobs, ‘HOME DEPOT’; LAWN SERVICE; BARBER SHOP: NIGHT CLUB &STUDIO RECORDING. To say the least I was more than impressed with him. I thought he was one ambitious and hard-working guy, and he was truly heading for success.

I started to admire his resourcefulness, his drive, his versatility & resilience. Then I started to watch him work on the lot and I realize he does his work with effort and skill. He seems to take what he does seriously and maybe because my feeling was growing for him I put him on this high peddle stone. To me he was a guy to be proud of. He was dedicated to his babies and his work and I like him even more for that. To me he was indeed a special and unique guy.

The more I learn about him the more my feelings get stronger and by time Christmas roll around I was fantasizing and wanting him so bad it hurts. ‘HOME DEPOT’ was heaven to me because he was there. I live every day just to see him and then I started to get this tremendous and sensational joy that I glow with happiness. I couldn’t contain my smile or hide my joy. Just watching him work use to give me this great pleasure. And thinking of him would give me such a sweet sensation. He became everything to me.

I was so taken with him.. liking him and growing so immensely fund of him getting all excited with a lust that run deep to warm the most interesting places.. I was more than infatuated with him…

I had given up hope of him calling me.. I took it ,thinking he really doesn’t want to be with me as I had imagined… I was still so full of sexual desires but I tried to squash it…

I Thought it would be impossible because I was so much older, and I was thinking he would not & could not like me like that. I began losing my confidence and security in my sensuality

He was still flirting with me  and I was still enjoying the attention.. treasuring each and every moment I get to be with him. I used to undress him with my eyes. as I watch him work… I got so turn on watching him. I had  goose pimples  and a pulsating  twitch…My feelings were out of control …I had an intense strong sexual desire for him..

Christmas came and pass and he did call me once.

We talked for about an hourand I told him how I was feeling towards him..He confesses that  he wanted to be with me sexually… I was gamed but  a  little scared that I was getting way over my head… I started to have doubts about a relationship with him..

He was often distant and unpredictable and I wasn’t too sure he likes me enough..

I also started to question me and my sensuality

It was a very long time since I being with anybody much less a gorgeous young guy  I was afraid that I wouldn’t be an to live up to his expectations sexuallyand that I might just embarrassed myself, 

but at the same time…fill will a sweet kind of excitement in anticipation of getting together with him… my desires to experience and to be with him was more than my reservations..

TO BE CONTINUED…..

*************************************************************************

237 thoughts on “MY LOVE-LOVE: THE JOY AND PAIN OF AN UNFORBIDDEN LOVE: Introduction

  1. MultidimensionalHE

    Why do older women think younger guys are a no go? Or why do they seem scared when a older guy shows genuine interest. It’s like older women count themselves out of love because of fear. Why it is that? Why is it so hard to believe a younger guy truly and genuinely wants love and care for them and nothing else. I know some young and old nuckle heads are users but everyone isn’t. That makes it hard for the young Lad who is truly interested.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. I think this happens because as women growing older you don’t want to compete with the 20-30 year old with a tight body and many ambitions to offer. Older women are beautiful but they have to know maturity is there in order for it to work with a guy of any age. That’s just my feeling on it. Once she saw his maturity she was game for the challenge…Had he been immature his flirtation would have been cute but would have gone no where. She had to know that he could truly make her feel like the woman she is…He had to be able to hang.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. MultidimensionalHE

        I can understand older woman not wanting to compete but in my opinion, I may be a bit different, a older woman who doesnt feel the need to show her body off every minute of the day, in public unwarranted situations, and who is concerned with other more important things besides getting her nails done and going to the club, along with the latest drama has no place in competition with such a person anyways. She’s simply already won. They both should be able to hang just on different levels that way, they could learn from each other and merge as one. But I completely understand a more mature woman not wanting to be taken on a whim.

        Liked by 3 people

          1. MultidimensionalHE

            You shouldn’t because a man of quality doesn’t want just a body with everything in tact. Her brain must be in tact, plus being attracted to someone because of their body is empty. Very empty to the soul. Those persons who do that, I was one of them at one point in my life, carry a very heavy feeling of emptiness that turns into depression. Trust me, I speak from experience. That’s why I was soooo taken back when I saw my future wife. My heart would always be bursting with pure joy. The hugs expressed in this post is how I envision myself hugging/holding her and being intimate with her just because I want her to have my attention, affection, care, genuine interest and love.

            Liked by 3 people

              1. It is refreshing to get a man’s vision but I also hope that through this he sees how those invalid hang ups become valid when the one holding the reigns doesn’t know how to steer, or is uncareful to learn or try, and is wreckless emotionally and that can to become damaging during the chase.

                Liked by 4 people

              1. MultidimensionalHE

                A woman is not a paycheck, a woman has a soul. She deserves to be loved completely for who she is and will become. I take offense to that because I know first hand what it feels like to be viewed as a paycheck.

                Liked by 3 people

          2. MultidimensionalHE

            Plus You have to remember, everyone’s definition of a perfect body is different. I like my woman with a little stomach or gut. No too much to where her health concerning but enough for me to see a slight pudge and if she wants to get rid of the pudge, it’s cool with me. I dislike body that look put together surgically and such. it takes away from the beauty of being human. Anyway, I love my woman’s body type even if she doesn’t because it’s not her body that makes me love her, it’s her soul.

            Liked by 3 people

            1. You validate her while being, it’s different on the other end of that stick when he is there taking the body you have and with charm drianing you dry, while all the while it’s the Barbie doll that truly shines in his eyes. Nothing against the fit and trim, I myself am a plus sized divalicious chick, but for an older woman who knows and can see the Tait and the truth, this can be overwhelming and intimidating.

              Liked by 3 people

              1. MultidimensionalHE

                Correct me if I’m wrong, are you saying with older women, one should validate her more so she doesn’t feel overwhelmed and intimidated? Or, is that a caveat to say pay attention to those person I associate with so she will never have a reason to feel any of this? The last thing I want, I for my Miss Lady to feel intimidated, overwhelmed, or in competition with people who could never reserve the place she has in my heart or soul.

                Liked by 2 people

                    1. MultidimensionalHE

                      I’m not waiting, I need to build myself. I want to have something to offer to the table. I would not dare expect a woman of such caliber to do everything. I’m in a position now where I pretty much have to start my life over.

                      Liked by 2 people

                    2. Don’t be so selfish…
                      she loves you as much as you love her..
                      she just wanted that ring 💍 and commitment..
                      you will give it all back to Her 10 times fold..
                      just make her happy..
                      woman loves marriage..

                      Liked by 2 people

                    3. Yep… men find too many excuses to avoid committing..only thinking of them..

                      We woman don’t really care about such things…
                      if she can love you 😘.. now..
                      As is.. how will getting married 👰🏾 change that

                      Liked by 3 people

                    4. This is understandable but she is your back bone and your shoulders, she will hold you together while you repair the peices of your life. No time will ever be perfect, make her as honorable a woman as you are a man for considering her to be such a diamond. Then work to ensure that you give her everything she is worth. I am sure she knows what she signed up for -and would rather it be you and her in a courtroom vs pleasing a thousand just to proclaim and eternally possess the love you have shared with her, make the move dude.

                      Liked by 2 people

            1. Okay, well I am 28. I could see you shared some passion in the matter, did you experience the same emotions with your wife? ( I hope I’m not being to forward or personal, please let me know if this is the case), once answered we will intersect the two scenarios…😉

              Like

              1. MultidimensionalHE

                The person I speak of is my future wife. Call me crazy, but I married her soul a long time ago we just aren’t married legally yet. I’ve felt the same way about her since the day I saw her soul. Now I feel more passion than ever for her.

                Liked by 2 people

                1. Beautiful, very romantic and refreshing, a very mature way of operation. … Now for us we say, she should feel no competition and as you put it, she has already won in many areas because of her maturity and outlook, however, do you think you could have made her feel the same if you lacked the maturity and skill necessary to help her believe and have faith that she is not on a whim with you? The thing about the younger woman is appeal, the culture is naked and for immature and mature males alike something’s are simply irresistible. However, with your outlook you are deft and capable of making her feel like the only woman in the world just like our boa did. As a 27 year old man, do you feel that this would be possible with her maturity alone?

                  Liked by 2 people

                  1. MultidimensionalHE

                    I do believe she would feel the same even if I lacked the maturity and skill that would allow her to feel she has no reason to compete with anyone. I say this because, when our paths crossed again, I did not have anything. I was a broken man. Yet she was there every step of the way, even during my not so charming moments. You see, our connection is different from the typical love taught in the world today. I am in love with her soul. To address you next point, there are not things with male immature or mature that are simply irresistible. Again, I speak from experience. When I understood within myself from soul promptings that she is the woman I want to spend all eternity with, I wrote her a letter and told her. I even told her, I need work. Meaning self development. Separation from her happened but even still, I held what I wanted in my heart for her. Example, I was at someone’s home whom I had sexual relations with, this person undressed down to their underwear, walked in front of the tv I was watching several times, and attempted to get close with me numerous times in only her underwear. I was simply uninterested and left. Once your soul recognizes the one, there is no more attraction to anyone else, even those people you’ve been with before. I even pointed out what the tempter did, told them I felt, tried, and conveyed again we are just friends and that’s all we ever will be. I did it because my soul is in love with the woman who is apart of me.Your last question, I don’t quite understand, could you rephrase it for me?

                    Liked by 1 person

                    1. You are simply a man with having Romeo. Your future wife should be proud…Do me a favor and hold classes for the other men in our generation. That way they know what they have in older and younger women who know their value.

                      Liked by 2 people

      1. Great and valid point as well. I also think it’s a mother thing as well, especially when one is twenty years your junior- you don’t want to feel like you’re dealing with your kid( if you have any, or a nephew) you need a MAN to cater to your souls needs. And vice versa.

        Liked by 3 people

  2. Ahhhh, Nita, you can’t do this to me! I Was reading with passion, looking forward to what would happen, and Then i found the words, TO BE CONTINUED!!! Can’t Wait to read the rest… And Yes, your love story with this guy so much younger Than you sounds wonderful and full of suspense

    Liked by 3 people

      1. Hello Jessica, everything is ok, my niece she is already interned and doing much better since she’s taking her daily medication just in time and under particular treatment. Me I’m still busier Than usual as my son is back from London to spend the Christmas here at home. I’ll write you an email later in the evening.

        Liked by 2 people

    1. Yep 👍..
      it was bridged for sure…
      I kinda forgot that he was younger..

      All I could see when I looked at him is.. this sexy.. hottt.. desirable… man that I wanted with every fiber in my being..
      a man I couldn’t resist..

      Yep.. my passion and desires blinded his youth.. and bridge that gap…
      I have no reservations with my building desires

      Liked by 1 person

        1. You are so right..
          If I put my all my growing sexual desires aside..
          I would feel that I shouldn’t be feeling like that..

          But.. I was way too gone with my urges.. to control my need to be with him..

          I couldn’t look at him without drooling all over..
          thank goodness 😅 I was not a man..
          I had to run 🏃🏻 to the restroom 🚽 a few times.. just to ease that twitch.
          Hahahaha 😂😂😂

          Liked by 1 person

      1. Simon.. Simon..

        I stay horny.. actually..

        I’m a very highly sexual woman…
        whose favorite subject is sex and beautiful men…

        I’m the queen 👸 of flirtations…
        I have a masters In it..

        I derive great joy in creating a desire in men..
        I just a baaaad girl…
        And I suppose that makes you special to be chosen..

        Hahahaha 🤔😆😆

        Like

  3. Nita….we’ve never spoken, though our paths have crossed. 🙂

    Would love to have you on my blog (it’s private).

    I can’t wait until the next chapter. Oddly enough, when I was 34, I dated a 26 year old.

    He was impossibly beautiful. We were together for 2 years until my job took me away.

    We still talk and flirt to this day. He texts whenever he feels nostalgic.

    I’ve often thought it is a rite of passage for “older” women to date a “younger” man. Sure, it’s considered taboo, but it’s so amaaaaaaaaaaazingly delicious….

    More of this story please. 🙂

    ~JM

    p.s. click me? then click request, if you like. I don’t know your “username” or I’d send an invite to you. xo

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Thoroughly enjoyed reading this… When I was 20, I was in love and living with a 48 year old. Flash-forward to a few years ago and I had just gotten the news that my 24 year old girlfriend and 23 year old boyfriend had called off our three-way marriage. This beautiful 20-something started perusing me relentlessly. Three years later and we are still engaged. As soon as his contract with the shipping company is over, he will be leaving the Philippines and coming to the U.S. – looking forward to it 😊 Here is wishing you all the best in your relationship. Don’t let the viewpoint of others interfere with your heart. Age is a number your heart does not recognize. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

        1. Hahahaha…

          I’m not embarrassed to play the fool ..
          I had wonderful fun At that moment in time..
          and I wasn’t really so naive as I make out to be..
          my desires was in control. And he was my addictive drug..
          And I wanted that high/ buzz..

          Like

      1. Mmmmm Reminded me of my 26 years old tiler. He’s an Italian stud and my oh my did I have fun with him. He piggied back me downstairs and I drove him to get protection . He ended up going into the supermarket barefooted . He came out smiling as the cashier wished him a good night 😂 told him back then if I had kids at 18 he could have been my son 😂

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Lol 😂….
          Wow 😳!!!

          You know dewy.. it’s really a thrill to be loved and like by a young virile Italian stud..,
          Although it’s really a unforbidden choice…
          but it’s makes me feel so gooood..
          knowing that I still got it… like that…
          We still can command these young bucks.. yayyy!!!
          I bet you had a really good time that night Too…

          Liked by 1 person

            1. Hahahaha..
              I shied away too..
              merely because I find.. that I do get too emotionally attached .. when sex is in quotient /involved..

              And really seriously… the only common interest with a guy that young is SEX…

              I still flirt with them… but that’s as far as I will go now…
              And I always smile remembering my awesome experience…

              But like you… I best stick to men my age…

              Liked by 1 person

  5. I have a 39 year old male lover, married. It occurred to me that I might be “too old” to attract him to my bed. I found his interest more responsive when I told him “My rule: no use of the L word, unless it was I love fucking you.”

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s