MYLOVE-LOVE: T HE JOY &;PAIN OF AN UNFORBIDDEN LOVE chapter 3

I was getting so anxious for him to suggest us getting together again… and I starting to believe that it’s never going to happen when…..

He asked me to baby sit for him…  he got his three younger kids every other week… and he have to find someone to stay with them while he works… and it has been getting difficult for him to find willing babysitters ..

I had volunteer my service when he mentioned this to me… so I guess he was taking me up on my offer…

Of course…   I was more than happy to do so, because it means being with him again.  I was hoping and expecting a night like the one we have had ….

I spent all evening in great anticipation of the night ahead.. my mind was fill with thoughts of the wonderful lovemaking we were gonna make…

I wasn’t even thinking that it would be awkward with the kids being present…

I make sure the kids were all in bed before he got home… but he was much later in arriving than I had presumed..

I sat there anticipating a night full of passion… as I visualized all I would do to him.. I was so impatient waiting for him to come through that door..

He was quite late after he got off work … I knew he was with veronie.. I was getting a little jealous with the thought as I sat there waiting for him to walk through the door…

Sigh 😔…!!!!

he was still seeing her and I believed they were a couple but I decided to enjoy him when I’m with him and not to mention anything or anybody to upset our time together.

I found out that she babysits for him also and that she stays over too…. I felt very jealous and a bit mad but I remembered our deal. Just casual.

. [I knew I could not compete with a younger girl ; I knew I had nothing to fight with. And I agreed to no strings.’  I was helpless and hopeless. Here I am, wanting this guy with everything I got and couldn’t demand, command or ask anything of him.]

When he finally came home he was very distant and very casual… I was very disappointed.. realizing I expected too much…he was no interested in me sexually…

He seems tired and decided to sleep on the couch, I asked him where am I going to sleep. He casually told me wherever I liked. I was not too happy about that and then he just ignored me… I then realized that he had no intention of making love to me..

Too late I realized that this was just a babysitting favor… he had no intentions of repeating our one night together… it’s over.. I suddenly felt like the biggest fool..

So I was not going to have the same experience. He does not want me like that. I wanted to leave, I would have left but I couldn’t because he was asleep and I didn’t want to call john so late. So I just steam and fight with me all night because I was feeling neglected, rejected and lonesome.

I tried to justify his behavior..

   He probably was just tired and didn’t feel like fooling around but my my mind is telling me …he just does not want me anymore . It was just a one night stand..

I try to convinced myself  with all the plausible explanations I could come up with.
I didn’t even stop to think of the kids.. I was so wrapped up in my own emotions and desires.. …

As I sit there watching him sleep…I grew very emotional and very angry at myself…

  I felt so bad I started to cry, I got up .. went into the bathroom..sat there …beating myself up…..feeling like a complete fool, thinking why I allow myself to be treated like this. I even swear that I will never do this again.

I was in there for a while not knowing exactly what to do or what to think…I couldn’t believe that I was so stupidly infatuated that I was so blind…

  He got up to check on the kids and saw me sitting in the bathroom, asked me what I’m doing there.. showing no concern..and went back to sleep.

I then decided to come out and I went and lie between his legs and put my head on his tummy. I just wanted to be close to him…That’s where I spent the rest of the night.

I woke up feeling quite comfortable lying on him, nowhere else I’d rather be, but it ended soon, much too soon. I was hoping he would want to make love: I playfully touched and rub against his cock… hoping to trigger some reaction… but nothing… he just push me aside.. got up and didn’t make any effort towards me so I know he was not interested.

Maybe because the kids was there .. and he didn’t want to take the chance of them catching us.. I was so selfishly thinking about me… I simply forgot about the babies.

I again tried to justify his cold and aloof reaction…

He got the kids up took them to school and me home. It was a silent trip…

I Was very disappointed, I guess he did not like me as much as I thought and I was convinced that was the end of us. I tell myself that I’m not gonna put myself in that position ever again..

So we had a one night stand. It was good.. but it’s as much as I’m ever going to get with him…

I wanted more, much more, but it was out of my control…. He obviously didn’t share my feelings..

I got home and analyze the night and convince myself that I might have over reacted just a tad..

What was I thinking.. wanting a night of passion with three babies 👶 in the house….

Over the next few weeks..

With all this, it was still a very joyous and happy time for me. I still savor the memories of that one night we shared together…

And even though he was giving me the cold shoulder, ignoring me and dismissing me. Just seeing him gave me so much joy.  It was like getting a buzz.  I love the sensation I got just thinking of him.

He stopped talking to me much… and he totally avoided me… I was a little hurt by his strange attitude… but accepted the fact that I want the impossible…

I waited impatiently hoping  for a next time.  I thought I would remain causal.. and just maintain a friendly attitude…

I would him text every morning and every night. Me thinking I’m keeping his mind on me, instead I was becoming quite obsessive.

He was not responding to my text or calls. At work he completely ignores me. He spends most of his time with veronica and all the other young girls. I felt so bad for me but tell myself that ‘it’s ok, I’m too old for him anyway.’  I console myself, convincing me that I’m unable to compete for his affections. Why would he like me?  But with knowing all this I still hope for more of him.  

I silently lust for him… and secretly trying to find a way to convince him to be with me again…

I know I should have given up… but I was like a woman who got hooked on drugs and was craving for a buzz.. I so much wanted another dose of him…

I will find a way… I have to find a way to get him back into my arms… and between my eager legs…

****************************************************************************

TO BE CONTINUED……

 

28 thoughts on “MYLOVE-LOVE: T HE JOY &;PAIN OF AN UNFORBIDDEN LOVE chapter 3

  1. This is to inform you that I have shifted my blog to shiningtheory.com and you could have received a subscription mail which is not a scam.
    Please follow me again, and I regret the inconvenience caused to you.
    From My Theory.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Will try to get caught up on your series by the end of the day, but you did real-eyes that he couldn’t make love to you with 3 sleeping babies. From my own experiences it can be so hard to resist when we crave ‘It’ so much. Maybe he wasn’t ignoring you as much as you thought? Also, it is just casual, so if one of you are on a different level it’ll inevitably crumble. When we say its ‘just casual’ its hard to differentiate that while love-making, so it feels real. It is real. Why casual sex can be difficult to keep casual the longer it persists.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hahahaha.. smiling tons..

      I figured that out after my desires dissipated..
      God.. I somehow didn’t even remember about his babies 👶 being…there with my raging 😤 emotions and my greedily lustfull desires..

      But you are right.. I couldn’t keep my feelings casual..
      he was more in control than I was..

      Thanks for reading 📖.. do appreciate your visit…
      please continue.. and all comments are welcome..

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Hey 👋 rob.

      It’s just a revision ..

      I’m trying to update and edit into a better version..

      Hopefully you notice the difference and I’m hoping it makes the story more interesting to read…

      Yessss
      He ghosted 👻 me ..
      but I was very insistent and didn’t gave up too easily…

      This so called causal affair is going to last for three years on and off…

      I found ways that I should have not done and is not so proud of..to keep him coming back ..

      I guess kitty has a lot to do with this unhealthy obsession I created…

      Liked by 1 person

  3. The way she describes how she wants this guy and what she compares it to just shows her want and lust, what a perfectly written detailed emotional feeling you wrote for her. The whole one night stand that got her addicted, this compelling story keeps readers invested to see what lengths she will pursue to try and win her prize.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Yeah, her journey seems quite interesting to say, and it can go many ways.
        Usually heartache does ensue one who falls fast and ties their hearts to their sleeve to pursue blind love. Especially if there are other suitors involved in the situation. And one willing to be taken for granted for love is setting herself up for heartbreak, but…..things happen🤔

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Well let’s see just how far she will go.. to get with this unwilling guy…

          He seems like he don’t has the interest in her as she in him..
          But she is so blinded with invested emotions and intense lust..
          That she is determined to make a complete fool of herself…
          Just to fulfill her desires….

          Liked by 1 person

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