EMOTIONAL OVER REACTION: part 2…

PASSIONATE LOVE 💕 FOR A CHILD

….But then everything changes when she tells me that she is going to leave baby with her mom for approximately two weeks in West Virginia without her or dad around……..

I immediately exclaimed…”no !!!!! Don’t do that…she will not do well without you or dad around… she will fret on you guys.. stop eating.. be depressed ..and she might get sick..”

Her explanation is that she promised her mom already..

I argued that this baby is not a puss kitten and she can change her mind if she wants and thinks it’s not in the best interest of her baby…

I beg my son to try to convince her and ask her not to leave his baby behind.. but he let me know it her choice as if he has no say in his baby’s well being..

I was very upset about her decision and I grow very angry because I was helpless in this situation… I keep thinking of my little malanni (granddaughter) crying for her mom and dad and how she would feel when she don’t see them around…

She was leaving in a couple of days and during those days all I talked about and gripe about is her leaving that baby behind…

I asked her on numerous occasions … please reconsider and don’t leave her behind ..

I think she feels as if I am being selfish and trying to keep mallani away from her mom…

But.. that was not my main concern..

Although the truth be told.. I didn’t fully trust her mom to be a good caretaker..

For one..

She is a smoker…a heavy smoker… not so good for little malanni and her lungs…

Two…

She is as lazy and messy as her daughter or more… this is where her daughter figured and learned…it’s the norm to live in a mess…

I’m not saying I’m better…At taking care of her…

But I have big doubts about her being responsible enough to make sure my granddaughter is properly taken care of..

But with all this knowledge…this was not my primary concern about her leaving the baby behind…

I’m so worried about the emotional impact it’s going to have on little malanni.. she’s old enough to know her parents and old enough to want them around for her comfort…

(How can a mother.. no matter how young she maybe…separate herself from her baby this way….how can she be so insensitive and cruel and so eager to leave her baby so far away just so she can have the freedom with no responsibility…??????!!!!! I can not comprehend her choice without any signs of remorse…?????)

The separation is not going to be good for little malanni…

After she leaves for West Virginia … I tried to talk to me son .. trying to convince him that again to ask her to reconsider her decision and to let her know that he is totally against being away from his baby for so long…

But…

He again asked me to stop interfering in his and his girls life…and that it is “NONE OF MY BUSINESS “…

I was really hurt by his comments…but I walked away without another word…

I’m having such a hard time dealing with this… I go to sleep and have nightmares about my granddaughter.. I get anxiety attacks thinking about her crying …wanting her mom and dad… I can hear her crying sometimes…it’s just my imagination but that’s how much it’s affecting me…and its even worse that I’m restricted from talking about it to them…

So I made a very conscious decision that I’m completely done with her and her baby…

I have decided to stay away from my granddaughter ..give up my duties as a nanny… stop with everything that I have been trying to do to help…

I really hope I can stick with this decision I have made when she gets back.. but for now.. I’m done…

I know it will seem as if I’m just mad because I couldn’t get my way…and that may hold some truth to it…and I reflect back to movies I have seen where these grandparents fights their children for their grandchildren…

And now I have a greater understanding as to why they would want to do this….it’s so hard to stand back and watch the mistreatment of these innocent babies without trying to step in …

I have talked and gripe to friends about the whole thing and tell them my decision…

And I have been met with a lot of opposition telling me she has done nothing wrong and that I’m over reacting to something that I really have no say in..

Any I totally agreed..

But I’m strongly convicted to my choice.. and although no one shares my decision…it’s mine to make…

An yes I’m making a big deal out of it.. a case which I have no power of authority…

They shut me out and shut me up..and expect me to be eager to be of use only when they require me to be….

They are right… she is actually none of my business…

And I’m going to make her just that… I’m throwing a tantrum and I’m acting silly…

But I strongly believe what I’m doing and I have decided is the best for me..

*****^^^^******^^^^******

TO BE CONTINUED…

AN UPDATE ON HER RETURN…

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EMOTIONAL OVER REACTION: part 1

This is my own personal choice and reaction.. that I’m not seeking advice or permission or even understanding…

But I want to share my story.. even though I expect to meet a lot of criticism and opposition to my choices And to my over reaction to something that is really “None of my Business “…. And to something that is not “My place to have a legit reason to defy…”

So here goes..

THE PASSIONATE LOVE 💕 FOR A CHILD

I have a granddaughter.. my son’s first baby ; my only granddaughter.. her mother is not the best of choice in my opinion…

But it’s my son choice:

She from West Virginia.. we are from Florida…

They lived with me for a year before getting pregnant….

They went to West Virginia to have this baby..

I understand her choice….it’s her home and her parents are there.. every girl needs mom and dad around for times like this..

I had feared at first that I would have lost my son because he would have chosen to stay in West Virginia..

But..

I understand his choice…it was his girl and his baby…

They spent five months and then they returned home with baby..I was very thrilled to get my son back home and very happy to have my granddaughter close..

She was two months old..

And they decided to come home because they wanted a baby sitter while they worked..

And I was more than willing to oblige..I didn’t think twice before I said yesss..

She was only two months when she came home.. she was not doing too well.. mom was feeding her bottle food.. adding cereal to he bottle..

which she couldn’t digest.. not feeding her on time..

Making her sleep for hours without waking her up to feed… it took a few weeks to convince her that she is hurting her baby’s health and that all she requires is just her formula..

She even stopped breastfeeding the poor baby because she ( mom) didn’t like it ..

I ended up having her more than they do over the next six months.. and I got to treat her and get her on a Right diet..

Mom is very lazy….

So I take up the responsibility of making sure everything for my granddaughter is taken care of..

If I didn’t wash her dirty laundry .. they wouldn’t be done..I had to walk behind them pick up Her clothes off their bedroom floor…

Be the bottle police ..to ensure that all her use bottles is always clean and sterilized regularly…

I was so afraid of her getting sick… I had to make sure her thermos is kept full of hot water for her bottle…

I watched my granddaughter progress with age from sitting up to rolling over.. crawling.. and then creeping…

I stayed up with her night after night while they worked till 2am in the morning…I didn’t mind because she wasn’t any trouble except that she wouldn’t sleep until they get home..

I understand … because every baby needs their parents especially at nights.. she was healthy and happy..

So after six months I became so attached to her.. she was apart of my daily routine….but I knew mom and dad was her comfort and happy place…

But mom didn’t take enough time with her.. she was always out or sleeping and when dad is around he has full responsibility while she either sleep or do whatever she pleases..

She doesn’t clean .. not her bedroom.. not the bathroom/ toilet…

My son enables her .. and when I try to say something about her behavior to him and complain that she needs to a mom.. he shuts me down asking me not to talk negatively about his girl..

So I stopped because I do understand why he asked me to stop…

I just keep on doing what needs to be done trying not to complain Over the months..

I accept how things are and even though occasionally I lash out for most part i just keep doing and know it is not going to change..

I still look at baby when needed..and I continue to do what is needed to be done…

And then at eight months when baby is knowing people and sticking more to mom and dad

Mom announced that she is going home for a vacation with baby..

I understand and encourages her visit.. after all it’s baby grandparents.

But then everything changes when she tells me that she is going to leave baby with her mom for approximately two weeks in West Virginia without her or dad around…

TO BE CONTINUED….,

My reaction and my feelings about her decision next..

INGRATITUDE: Good Deed Gone Bad…part 2

ENGLAND 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 IN THE PARK…

We have put the incident of the bank and card behind us..Christmas came and went and we are good again…

Miss Perfect is supposed to leave end of January.. but somehow find a way to lingers a little longer… this puts a strain with she and her sister relationship …

My neighbor was ready to get her space back and get back to her normal routine without the inconvenience of entertaining Miss Perfect…

She loves sis..

But her company was becoming overbearing…and sis was starting to act her true self which irritates her….

Anyways moving along…

She needs funds to stay so her son wanted to send her some money…I have a PayPal account which I had received $ 150 through for her once before..

She asked if I could do it again for her.. without hesitation I told her yes…

Afterall its not costing me nothing to be of service ..

So he sent the another $ 150…

I saw the transaction but I noticed two things..

one: PayPal charges a fee of $6.90..

And…

Two: the balance is on hold..

I had no idea why these actions took place but I thought I would give PayPal some time to release the funds…

Of course I informed Miss Perfect of it all…

and we waited.. and waited… and waited..

She keeps on inquiring.. and I keep letting her know the status is still the same…

I was getting kinda curious as to why so After a week I decided to call PayPal and try to figure the reason for this hold and also why was I charged a fee..

I got an agent to talk after two tries.. and she explained to me that the transaction was done as a purchase..

Miss Perfect son obviously 🙄 uses PayPal as a way of buying things online and automatically sent me the money using that feature..

So I explain the situation and asked the agent how can we resolved the problem and get it off being held…

She advises me to tell the sender that he should go back in and hit ” The Receive button” as though he receives the product that he supposedly purchase… because the payment won’t be released until he received his item…

Okay.. understood… easy enough…

So I called Miss Perfect and explain to her what I had found out…

She said she would pass it along to her son…

Next morning bright and early she sent me a text of his PayPal account showing the money is available..

lo and behold ….

When I checked it was cleared .. so I immediately transferred it to my bank.. but it’s takes up to two days to reach my bank and clear..

I sent her a text telling her this.. she started to give me attitude and behaving again as if I’m cheating her out of her money..

The conversation goes like this…

I don’t know if Im overthinking or reading too much into this conversation but I’m personally sensing again some degree of ingratitude..

And it infuriates me that she is trying to make me feel bad for doing her this favor and for making me feel as if I’m the one guilty of putting a hold on this money… Or I am purposely withholding her funds…

And here she’s acting so dumb…. which I figured she actually is… with the knowledge of PayPal account and it’s functions..

I also get the feeling .. she thinks I’m so obligated to do it for her..

My first thought was to send the money back to her son… and let them find another way of getting it to her… But the kind person in me talk me out of it…

I know she is need of this funds.. so I will get it to her and forgot the whole thing…

But vow never say yes to any more of her requests…

I think I have learned a valuable lesson on ingratitude versus 🆚 kindness..

Sometimes a good deed goes bad…

but it’s still remains a good deed…

INGRATITUDE: Good Deeds Gone Bad….

MY MY STORY

I’m friends with my neighbor for as long as I live on my block… We get together quite often almost daily some weeks.. and we share a lot about our lives …

Her eldest sister resides in Africa for over thirty years and she doesn’t get to see her very often..

Miss Perfect came for a two weeks visit which spiral into a four months stay..

My neighbor didn’t mind so much because she lives so far away and she thought that spending some quality time with Miss Perfect will be good..

Anyways..

Seeing that I spend so much time with her.. I became friends with Miss perfect… I liked her and I was fascinated with all her stories of Africa which she takes great pride in telling always making sure I know exactly how well off and how high class she is…

Not to mention only big wig executives she entertained.. and everyone else who is not in this class .. she does not associate with…

It didn’t bother me none.. because everyone has their preferences and has a right to their choice of living ..

And I was very proud of her that she has done so well for herself…

Well we started to have coffee ☕️ together when my neighbor is at work.. I like her company and like her conversations…

We became close enough I thought..that when she asked me the favor of using my credit card 💳 to pay for using a app online I willingly agreed…

She gave me the cash and I put the payment through…

Now a week later I noticed my card was billed for twice the amount we agreed on..

I overreacted and immediately call the bank to dispute the charges before I even spoke to her…

I call her and tell her what I saw and Also told her I disputed the charges with my bank..

She said she did not know why that happened but she realizes that she had two accounts..

The app was new to her and she didn’t quite understand how to work it.. I personally think she mistakenly summited another account but blatantly refused to admit that she made that error mistakenly…

I dropped the subject telling her that The bank will take care of the charges…the next week the bank spoke to me to let me know that my dispute is in process and will be investigated and they will let me know in time what will be decided..

The agent informed me that the charges may not be overturned..

Because it has been paid already..

I sent Miss Perfect a text to update her on what I found out.. and let her know that if they decided not to take it off she will be responsible for that extra charge plus all bank charges incurred…

Oooh maan…

She didn’t like that and she acted as if I was cheating her out of her money…

I told her I will just wait to see what the bank do before we continue with this discussion… she wasn’t at all pleased about me telling her that she is responsible for the charges on my card..

She acted so silly and naive about it all it makes me wonder about her intellectual level…

She claims to be so smart and experienced in so much because she has a doctorate in something…. and look at me like I’m the illiterate one…because I don’t happen to have a college degree in nothing…

I smile 😊… shake my head…

I knew better….

I sense some form of INGRATITUDE…

Why am I sensing ingratitude ..???!!

Instead of being grateful that I am willingly doing a service of good deed… for a person in need of my help??!!!!!

Instead of being grateful that Im willingly doing a service of a good deed…for a person in need of my help…

She becoming mean and acting as if I’m deceitful …

So I talked to my neighbor about it…it’s her sister anyways and I didn’t want to show my wrath when I actually agreed to this arrangement between us… and I didn’t want the hostility and tension..

My neighbor calmly advises me to just wait for the outcome because if the bank dispute the charges then everything will clear up..

I totally agreed..

And the bank did dispute it and she lost her account…

We put it behind us and try to maintain our relationship…

Now a month later..

she has asked another favor….

**********************

TO BE CONTINUED….

See if I agree or not….

Grandma 👵 PRIDE JOY… Six Months..

SIX MONTHS… playing with her toys 🧸

********************

It’s so amazing as I watched her growing up in front of my eyes..

It’s as though I never experienced it before.. and as she learn new things..

Like rolling over.. sitting up.. humming to my songs and nursery rhymes… giggles when tickled…

It thrills me so…

You know I stuck with her more often than I care to sometimes..

And I fuss at my son and her mom for it..

She takes up most of my days and put me behind in everything else…she doesn’t sleep as much anymore.. and I’m very limited and I feel very restricted….

But.. when I have her.. I get so much joy… I find I enjoy taking care of her…

bonding with her and learning her little behaviors… she does have a little attitude already..

Like getting into a tantrum when she wants something like her bottle..

Or if she’s tired of being in one place too long..

It makes me smile 😊 ..to understand her moods and knowing why …

She’s sitting up and trying her darnest to crawl… and she gets so frustrated when she can’t move forward..that she just lie on her tummy and fuss and then roll on her back and over again on tummy gets on her knees and bounces back and forth…before giving up…

I watched her and just laugh and asked her what you doing baby girl..

And it touches me so when she looks at me and smile so brightly…

I feel so lucky to have her with me this close.. and although I get annoyed sometimes with her parents for giving me full responsibility …

I do love the chance of seeing her growing daily and watching her every step of development…

It just gives a great sense of pride…

SHE’S DEFINITELY GRANDMA’S PRIDE AND JOY…..

FREELOADERS: MISS TING

….. I was quite upset with the fact that she didn’t give me that money .. especially when I had to find another way of funding for this outstanding bill…

I tried to stay calm but my emotions was very obvious.. and everything started to bother me…

I became very bitchy… and very grumpy…

My son was becoming the target of my gripes because I know If I had to address her personality I couldn’t and wouldn’t be nice…

One evening my son came out and was joking about things of the past and I was very amused at first and played along with him until he touched that very sensitive subject…

It sparks that fire that was building in me and I completely exploded..

I got so loud and I went off angrily…

and I repeated myself about the money she refuses to give..

But…

can go tanning and eat out everyday..

And yet she claims she can’t afford to pay me what’s I’m due….

Like the water and electricity she uses run on air.. or like I don’t have to pay a mortgage for this house monthly..

Like how she come. Living in here scotch free .. freeloading her ass on everything that I paid for to own…

Acting like she’s entitled and like I owes her freeloading ass a living…

Leaving trails of mess behind her for me to clean up like I’m the maid in my own house…

And when I asked for the bare minimum to help me with all she extra bills she racked up..

I’m mean and nasty and money hungry…

I said all that and more…

my son quickly went to his room.. knowing that…. from experience… when I reached this point of fury.. there is no calming me..

And that I will say everything and more until I feel satisfied…

I stopped and went to my room.. so angry.. that i wanted to run away from it all…

I woke up next day.. still not too happy.. but a little calmer…

Over the next few days I became silent trying to regain my sweet composure…

Until…..

Her birthday was on the 10th…

On the day in question , my son came to me asking if I could watch the baby because they want to go out to celebrate,,,

I refused.. thinking … pleasingly that I would get back at her some and she would have to stay home with baby…

Haha 😆

The joke was on me…

A couple hours later Abraham came with baby asking me to play with her a little..

I told him to let miss Ting deal with her baby today…

There he informs me that she went out with her friends to celebrate..

MISS TING… actually thinks her birthday was so much more important than staying with her baby..

I chuckled.. in disbelief.. and I look at my son and shake my head… telling him that he really is enabling her and spoiling her ass..

I took my granddaughter and I played with her and was convinced that MISS TING is clearly not responsible enough to be a mother…

I see and realized that I have to assist my son with her until she gets older…

But it left a gnawing feelings in my gut that I am stuck with MISS TING… and god knows I really don’t know how I am going to tolerate her for much longer…

I will have to sacrifice my son and my granddaughter and lose both.. which creates great anxieties in me thinking… can I!!!????

We’ll just have to wait and see… and pray for an answer to this dilemma…

**********^^^^^******

TO BE CONTINUED…..

FREELOADERS: MISS TING…

Why does these individuals think they are entitled or thinks everyone owes them a living….

I’m dealing with a bad case of freeloading… and I’m kinda backed in a corner of wall and hard place…

let’s call her Miss Ting….

******^^^^*****

Miss Ting came in life and my home when my son decided that he’s in love with her and bring her back home to Florida with him from Montana….

I welcome her and invited her in my home…

I told my son I’m going to charge her and him to stay here… he wasn’t quite pleased.. firstly he said he will pay me everything I asked…

I told him no way…

She’s not going to live here for free…

So they both started to work and at first they give me what I asked…she was here for nine months and got pregnant…

But I have big issues with her housekeeping..

she don’t…

she created more mess than anything and don’t clean up .. the rooms they occupied was becoming a huge pile of trash and filth..

I’m under the impression that she doesn’t know how to clean and that mess is her norm…

I complain .. I grumbled… I asked..

And my son has to be the one to get it in order everytime..

Let me not mention the bathroom… because I ended up having to clean it up every time…

I was getting really Annoyed and agitated with her and this mess she created…

But.. I tried to not say much to her because she shuts me out.. very non responsive.. and I didn’t want to ask her to leave because my son seems very much in love 🥰 with her…

Miss Ting has access to all my appliances..

All my pots and pans..

All my plates, cups…utensils…

Everything in the house is all mine

and I pay a monthly mortgage ..

The soap she washes her clothes with.. in my washing machine and dryer… I buy..

Toilet paper.. toothpaste…towels.. sheets..

I supplied…

And she comes and she uses without reservation..or guilt…

She was giving me what I requested so I did not mind so much..

I was happy and tried to ignore her mess.. until she went back home to West Virginia.. to her mommy and daddy to have her baby,..

My son went with her…

I had mixed feelings about him leaving..

I was glad to see her go but I missed my son and I feared him not coming back home..

They stayed away four months and I prayed that he come back home…

( But Sometimes you have to be very careful with what you pray for… because god answers prayers..

and you might just get what you pray for..)

So they return with baby…in September…

She immediately went back to work…

My son’s car wasn’t working so he decided to wait a while before going back to work…

and help me along with getting used to the baby…and getting his car in working condition…

Okay.. September rolls off and I let it go without mentioning I need some payments for extra expenses..

Come October I decided to mention to her that our previous arrangements is still in effect and I need that money by the end of the month….

After some debate about not knowing or thinking she was still responsible for giving me that money..

….and me reminding her of all the extra utilities and stuff she’s racking up.. we decided on November 1st…which was a definite date…

With Abraham not working and unable to play his part of contributions I was counting on her money to cover an outstanding bill..

I leave it at that.. and I struggled with her mess and her neglect of her baby all month…

I ended up washing and sterilizing the baby bottles… every day..

I took responsibility of washing the baby’s clothes…

She doesn’t.. so I do it…

And I find myself ending up with baby even when she’s home.. so I refuse to be responsible for the baby whenever she’s off…

But.. my son ended up with the responsibility… it irritates and annoys me…and I try to keep out of their personal affairs until it starts to affects me.. whereas I’m expected to keep her while they goes out..

I then become belligerent …

And so they realize I was not happy with their attitude…

So now with all that happening during the month of October…. come November the first.. I reminded her by text of our agreement….

She has the nerves to let me know that she won’t be able to pay me with a long list of excuses and reasons..

I plainly tell her that all her reasons is none of my concern and that I need my money today…

We went back and forth for five minutes with me telling and reminding her of all that she’s been using up and what it’s been costing and that nothing is free..

Of course I still came out the loser..and I was mad 😡 and furious…

I want her out of my house but my son and his baby prevented me from asking her to leave..

I know if she goes so does the baby and I didn’t want to put Abraham through that emotional pain…

So miss Ting is getting a free pass because of my son and his baby…

I am not in the least happy with her at all…

I am thinking and thinking of ways to get around this situation that I find myself in..

I’m really confused..

unsure…

Disturbed..

Apprehensive

Perturbed …. ect.. ect..

***********************

TO BE CONTINUED….