MY LOVE-LOVE: THE JOY&PAIN OF AN UNFORBIDDEN LOVE; chapter 5

That Friday He text me to come by his house because he wanted me to meet his father. He implied that he wanted to hook me up  with his father… I was not very pleased … but…

I agree to go to his home because it meant seeing him and getting a chance to be with him, but I was very annoyed that he wanted to pass me on to his father.  I got to his house,  A man who I assumed to be his father, answered … I greeted him, introduced myself and asked for him…

He was in his bedroom, I asked his father to excused me and I went to him. I told him that I don’t appreciate that he is trying to pass me on like a piece of old clothes  and It’s him I like and it’s not because I’m desperate and need a man that badly… I let him know my desires is just for him…

Would you believe that right there and then he started to fool with me… he was kissing me pulling my pants down..

I try to resist, telling him no his father is outside but that did not deter him and by now I was all for it. I wanted him, I couldn’t resist him. kitty was twitching… getting soaking wet and all i wanted was to feel that hard throbbing dick sliding it’s way inside me easing my growing burning desires…I was so hottt…

He led me to the bathroom, bend me over the sink and give it to me..he had to put a hand over my mouth to keep me quiet… he had my legs trembling and kitty begging for more.. I tried to get seconds.. I was loving on his chest… kissing him… Pressing closely into him.. showing him how much I still want him..whispering one more time.. I want you… 

but he resisted … reluctantly.. pushed me away..and then his father called his name..

I was left inside to try to calm down and regain my composure….

I was so hottt.. and ready to burst that I touched kitty to ease her a little and with one touch I was sent in a height of ecstasy.. I stood there for a couple minutes convulsing and twitching.. how I wanted him…

I got up.. went to the restroom and get properly dressed and calm myself down… brush my hair and timidly went out to join them…

 and so we had a quickie. It was so excited and sweet. What he does to me and for me. How am I going to get pass him.

. I still was thinking of the fact that he did not want me enough to want to hook his father up with me; it only tells me what he really feels for and about me. I was a bit hurt but try to understand how he thinks.

 I was not mad at him only sorry I was so much older that I could not ask anything of him. And I wanted him, how I wanted him, but how can I have him?

The next two weeks I just live to see him. I couldn’t wait for each day to come just to get the chance of seeing him. It would break my heart every time I see him with veronie but I had accepted that fact that they were together. 

I would still seek him out after work, talk to him, but I know he was no longer interested in me. MY desire was again building and I thought I try asking him to see me.

So I text him asking to see him. He text back saying he’s on his way to Deltona. I was a bit disappointed but I kind of expect that answer. Anyway about two minutes after that I received another text from him saying…

..”yea com by my house I b home I am on my way back”.

I was so happy and elated. I reply “if you could only see the smile on my face. I will be there.”

And so I got one more time to spend with MYLOVE-LOVE {. I COULDN’T BELEIVE MY LUCK} I went over and he was lying there looking so good and sexy just waiting for me. He had no shirt on..

He had just taken a bath and smells so fresh and feels so good. I lie beside him and he immediately started to kiss me, he felt so good and smell so delicious, and how I wanted him, so, so much. I love on that beautiful chest of his… enjoying the taste of him and inhaling his scent getting lost in the moment…

I had bought a vibrating toy for us to try and I told him. I got the toy and he was all gamed, He said “let’s play” and play we did. I spent the night next to him and I was in glory land. Being with him gives me so much joy. I get a surge of happiness I never before experience. WE spent most of the night talking about his childhood and making love… The more times I spent with him the more I feel for him.. and the more I want him..

I hoped he would like me some. I left him that morning wondering if I will ever get another chance to be with him… I always left wondering because we never talked about us…

That week went by with me living in hopes of the next time, and it came that Tuesday.  I text him asking what’s he doing?

He replies that he is at his aunt birthday party. And then he called me to come over. I was so pleased that I did not hesitate. I got there and he pounced on me… I decided to try the eatable chocolate.. oooh maan !!!! Did he love me eating and licking it off his chest and moving down and gobbling up it from his tings… I didn’t stop till it was all gone…

And then it was my time.. ooohh baby baby!!!!! I was quivering and shaking with ecstasy…he took me to places and heights I have never been…

we had a good time together.

How I love him! Every time with him seems to be better and better. I was falling deeper and deeper for him. What was I doing? How am going to get out of this? The more I see and spent with him the more I want him. And so I decided to enjoy him as long as he allows me to.

The following week I try asking him if I can come over. He started to tell that I’m acting like we are in a relationship and to remember that we are only friends with benefits. A bit hurt but understand, because we had agreed on that. I came home feeling, that’s the end, I know this day would come. And anyway I got more than I had bargained for and I was thankful. I did not mention anything about us after that. Still talk to him but keep it casual.

 The next Tuesday , on my way to Walgreens I got a text

“I am at home can u come by 2nit.”

I wanted to go so badly and I was so upset that I was at work. Would you believe I cried, yes cried because I wanted to be with him so much and I had this chance and I couldn’t? I wonder if I would ever get another chance like this.

My chance did not come until the next Thursday . I text him asking him to include me on his agenda for that day. By now, I was itching to be with him. And I had to try so I thought I’d asked.

Well he said he was going to be busy but he’ll see what’s up later. And he called apx. 8pm and said he had somewhere to go midnight but he can see me until then. Of course I agreed and I was there before you know it.

 GOD! When he opens that door, he was the most beautiful sight I ever behold. That smile, that face, that man, that beautiful and gorgeous man, and I smile because I have longed and yearned to be with him these last few weeks and here I am, finally. It takes all my control not to jump on him, and with heart racing and hands shaking just to touch him I sat down beside him. He must have sense my desire, because he said, “What you came for, to watch T.V.? He did not have to say anything else that was my cue. I immediately start to kiss him. How I love to kiss him. I love on him like I was hungry; I couldn’t get enough of him. We made love for the next four hours. He was so good. He made love to me like he means it and I enjoyed every single minute of him. I left him very pleased and happy. 

The following Wednesday , he asked to babysit for him. I accepted because apart from getting a chance to be with him I love his babies. I spent the evening with them and they were good. He came home about 10:30pm. He was a bit distant as usual. He took his son, helps him with his homework and went to lie down. He fell asleep. I let him sleep knowing that he must be tired. I bathe the kids, fed them and put them to bed. I did not want to wake him up so I quietly lay down next to him.

I didn’t forget the last time with his kids and how I had behaved and reacted… so I didn’t expect any form of fooling around this night.

Into the night I felt him taking off my jeans. He tries to love on me but he stopped. I got up brushed my teeth, freshened up and went back to him and start to love on him, for some reason I felt he did not want me but I continue try to make him feel good, but maybe because his kids was present he wasn’t in the mood.   We had a little then went to sleep

He woke me up in the morning to get up to get his babies ready, and I did. I did not mind too much. I would do anything for him. Anything to make him happy and his life easier.

We did not see each other for the next couple of weeks, except at work. He did not have too much to say and ignored me for most part. Although I was feeling broken up and wanted more I know that we weren’t really together and that he doesn’t like me like that. But my consolation was I get to see him daily and gives me some joy. Just seeing him was enough to make me happy. On Saturday 24th April I got a phone call. He is asking for $40.00. And of course like the fool I am I told him to come and get it… It meant seeing him…And so he came over for it.

.He stays a little. Love me a little and then left. As usual I enjoyed our little session, it was good to me.

I felt a bit foolish because I let myself be used by him…but seeing him and getting to love on him was all worth it to me….

 I suspect the money was for veronie birthday. But I can’t say no to him. I kind of feel good to know he needs me for something and stupid old me thinking if I am kind to him I will win his loyalty and he will remains friends with me always. [HOW WRONG CAN ONE BE]

Come Monday 26th. We worked the same shift. He was at work and then I saw him walking with a manager towards the door. My heart sank. He passes me didn’t look my direction, and left. I knew something was wrong. And then we were told He got fired. Would you believe I started to cry? Don’t know why, but I could not hold back the tears. I try texting him, asking what’s wrong. He never replies. And then I started to panic and getting anxious. How am I going get through my days without his presence?  OMG!!  I’VE LOST MYLOVE-LOVE.  I will never see him again. I was so worried about us {as if there was an us} I was so afraid and scared. I could not think or focus. And to make matters worse he ignores me.

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TO BE CONTINUED…..

 

 

 

MY LOVE-LOVE: THE JOY AND PAIN OF AN UNFORBIDDEN LOVE; chapter 4

After that incident with him, and my selfish behavior,  I was convinced that we would never be together again, but after a week or so ; seeing him everyday… remembering that passionate night…playing it in my mind, thinking how he felt; how he looks; I started to feel the desire to be with him again.

So I decided to ask him for a night, seeing that he is not going to asked me…

It was coming to valentines and our birthdays.  Mine the 16th and his 17th. So I bravely ask him if I could see him for Valentines. At first he said no, but I didn’t give up… I mention it every chance I got, until…..

 At the last minute he said ok. I was more than happy. I was ecstatic.

I went ahead and try to plan a very romantic and sensuous night…I buy this eatable chocolate, this heated scented massage oil.. and I got him a beautiful card… I had our night all planned out… I’m going to make it a night to remember..

 

He was still seeing Veronie and I was still a bit jealous but my need to be with him was stronger than my jealousy and envy. And all that matters to me at that point was being with him anyhow I can and I was not going to let anything spoil my time with him. I decided I am going to enjoy him to the fullest.  So I got my date…

I was so excited, and so full of anticipation I could hardly wait!!!!  and then it’s here….

  I went over to his apartment, knock on his door, he stands there in a sweatpants…and to me he was the most beautiful sight.. I was smiling and a little shy, he invited me in, and he hugged me and give me a little peck on he cheek… and led me to the couch and we got under a blankie… it was a little cold.

  WE started off watching a little movie, but,I couldn’t keep my hands off him. just being so close to him… wanting him for so long… I couldn’t help myself…we then proceed to the bedroom.

It was cold night and we were under a blanket, MYLOVE-LOVE put it around the two of us and walked us to the room , arm in arm… on our way I kind of stumble, he just catch me, steady me, and said, “I got you, it’s ok.”

 I just smile, feeling so good just being there with him, and lovingly pinch his buttock.

  Once in bedroom and I offer and suggested to give him a massage. He was all gamed, he got on his tummy …I very gentle pour the oil on his back….and sensuously caress and massage it in.. I moved slowly down till I reached his buttocks….so round… so firm….  I bent down and kiss that sink in his back using the tip of my tongue to trace the path to his buttock..

he let out a deep groan,”mmmm”. I smiled pleasingly.

I love the taste of him as I knead his buttock  lovingly… He decided to roll over…and whoaaa!!!!!

I took it in my hands and I looked up at him and he has his eyes closed with a face showing pure pleasure… I put some of the oil in my hands… and latter him in it… He starts to moan softly and said,”shit… shit..”. (his favorite words)

I then lick at the tip… and pull him all the way down my throat…he thrust his hips and his hand on my head urges me on… he tastes so good…We make love for the next hour or so.. I had my night of pleasure and nothing matters at that moment but lying there in his arms …

  We then decide to just lie there and try to sleep.. we were exhausted.. 

he became very quiet and was a bit distant and aloof, but I did not care because I was exactly where I wanted to be. My most favorite place. Right next to him.

He then started to talked a little about his life and his dreams. And how I enjoyed just lying there listening to him, learning about him and feeling so close and connected to him. I felt he was opening up to me accepting me, and getting closer to me. I was in heaven.

He fell asleep and I watched him sleeping. I hug him close to me and try to savor every minute with him because I was thinking this will be our last time, he doesn’t want me or like me like that.

I woke up to   a phone call from Barbara (my sister) wishing me HAPPY VALENTINES.  I got up ask him if he wants breakfast he said, “yes”  So I started to cook him something.

I was standing by the stove when I felt him behind me. He was kissing my neck and his hand was on my kitty, I got so excited and turned on. It felt so good that I dropped everything and respond to him. He bent me over and entered me there. Gosh!!!  It  felt so good;

  He then led me to the couch and gave me one of the best loving I ever had. I couldn’t believe that I could feel like that. And when we were finished I wanted more, much, much more. I was on fire… but we ran out of time…So my night ended with a bang. We ate breakfast and he took me home. I was smiling all day. MYLOVE-LOVE sure knows how to put a smile on my face. I was happy and contented for the next two days.

 Our birthdays was coming up…I bought a cheese cake and a bottle of moscato wine for his birthday and I thought I could convince him to spend it with me… he denied my request.. I wanted a repeat of our valentines night… But…..

He had other plans. He wanted to spend it with veronie, and he did.  

I die inside knowing that he wanted her and not me but I have to accept that we could never be. And I smile every time I thought of us. It didn’t bother me much because I get to see him every day, and as long as I’m able to see him I could cope with my emotions. I’d settle for friendship I told myself….but my desires and need for him was growing with each passing day..

I was just fooling myself…

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TO BE CONTINUED….

MYLOVE-LOVE: T HE JOY &PAIN OF AN UNFORBIDDEN LOVE chapter 3

I was getting so anxious for him to suggest us getting together again… and I starting to believe that it’s never going to happen when…..

He asked me to baby sit for him…  Of course…   I was more than happy to do so, because it means being with him again.  I was hoping and expecting a night like the one we had before. So i make sure the kids were all in bed before he got home… I sat there anticipating a night full of passion… and I was visualising all I would do to him.. I was so impatient waiting for him to come through that door..

Well he came home from work apx. 11:30pm .  A little later than I had expected… I suspected he was with veronie some.

You see he was still seeing her and I believed they were a couple but I decided to enjoy him when Im with him and not to mention anything or anybody to upset our time together. I did find out that she babysits those kids and even stayed over sometimes. I was so jealous and a bit mad but I remembered our deal. Just casual. . [I knew I could not compete with any young girl and I knew I had nothing to fight with. And I knew we said no strings.  I was helpless and hopeless. Here I am, wanting this guy with everything I got and couldnt demand, command or ask anything of him.]

So he came home and was very distant and so casual… decided that he was going to sleep on the couch, I asked him where am I going to sleep. He told wherever I liked. I was not too happy about that and then he just ignored me… I then realized that he had no intention of making love to me..

So I was not going to have the same experience. He does not want me like that. I wanted to leave, I would have left but I couldnt because he was asleep and I didnt want to call john so late. So I just steam and fight with me all night because I was feeling neglected, rejected and lonesome.

   He probably was just tired and didnt feel like fooling around or, like my mind is telling me he does not want me anymore . I try to convinced myself  with all the plausible explanations I could come up with.

I didn’t even stop to think of the kids.. I was so wrapped up in my own emotions and desires.. 

  Ill never know. I felt so bad I started to cry, so I got up from the couch sat there in the bathroom just beating myself up feeling like a fool, thinking why I allow myself to be treated like this. I even swear that I will never do this again.

  He got up to check on the kids and saw me sitting in the bathroom, asked me what Im doing there..not really concerned and went back to sleep. I then decided to come out and I went and lie between his legs and put my head on his tummy. Thats where I spent the rest of the night. I woke up feeling quite comfortable lying on him, nowhere else Id rather be, but it ended soon, much too soon. I was hoping he would want to make love: I playfully touched and rub against his cock… hoping to trigger some reaction… but He didn’t make any effort towards me so I know he was not interested.

Maybe because the kids was there .. and he didn’t want to take the chance of them catching us.. I was so selfishly thinking about me… I simply forgot about the babies.

He got the kids up took them to school and me home. Was very disappointed, I guess he did not like me as much as I thought and I was convinced that was the end of us. So we had a one night stand. I wanted more, much more, but it was out of my control…. He obviously didn’t share my feelings..

I got home and analyze the night and realize that I might have over reacted just a tad..

What was I thinking.. wanting a night of passion with three babies 👶 in the house….

With all this, it was still a very joyous and happy time for me. And even though he was giving me the cold shoulder, ignoring me and dismissing me. Just seeing him use to give so much joy.  It was like getting a buzz.  I used to love the sensation I get just thinking of him. And I waited impatiently hoping  for a next time.  I would text every morning and every night. Me thinking Im keeping his mind on me, instead I was becoming quite obsessive.

He was not responding to my text or calls. At work he completely ignores me. He spends most of his time with veronica and all the other young girls. I felt so bad for me but tell myself that its ok, Im too old for him anyway.  I console myself, convincing me that Im unable to compete for his affections. Why would he like me?  But with all this I still hope for more of him.   AND  I PRAYED FOR SOME MORE TIME WITH HIM.

I know I should have given up… but I was like a woman who got hooked on drugs and was craving for a buzz.. I so much wanted another dose of him…

I will find a way…

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TO BE CONTINUED……

 

MY LOVE-LOVE: THE JOY & PAIN OF AN UNFORBIDDEN LOVE; chapter 2

A STORY OF PLAYING THE COUGAR WITH A VERY UNEXPECTED TURN

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After that initial night he cancelled, I waited for him to suggest a next date . He didn’t called and he didn’t say anything to me about it… I see him everyday and for the next couple of weeks I kinda gave up on the idea. he was still seeing veronie and he wasn’t giving me too much attention.

I just thought I’d let it go..

It was a Tuesday. He was off ;   I work the closing shift.  I missed seeing him but to my surprised… He showed up, looking  so handsome, all dressed up. He stopped to talk to me, I was all smiles, so pleased to see him.   a bit jokingly he ask if I want him to come for me later.

I told him not to play with me like that and he said he is not playing… I was sitting down and he came up behind me and kiss me on the cheek., and whispered ” see you later.” winked at me as he walked out..

It gives me such a thrill .. I was smiling and thinking if he was really serious. I still did not believe that he would have come but he text me at 10:40

how u doing 

I answered, and he text back  Ill be there at 10 to give you a ride, or u can ride me.”

  he did come for me.

I was so nervous .. I was not prepared for this encounter but… find myself getting all excited in anticipation..  when I got to his place I was shaking a little,

So , I excuse myself to the bathroom to get my nerves and freshen up a little I took me a quick shower.. . When I came out he was only in his underpants.

I had to catch my breath, he was so beautiful. He had this sexy perfect body, his  chiseled chest, his strong muscled  legs, he  was a sight to behold, I completely forgot my  fears.

he then pulled me to him and  kiss me… good god! He kisses like a dream,

I was caught up in a whirlwind of passion…  He tasted so good feel so wonderful and then he lay back on the bed taking me along with him and  asked me to get on top and I told him no , I did not want to embarrass myself so soon..

He just scoop me up put me on the bed straddled me and said, ‘that’s ok, that’s why u got a young boy for. I would have love more foreplay but I was so ready to feel him inside of me.. I took hold of his hard throbbing cock… gentle stroking and enjoying the feel of it.. guiding him to my soaking wett and eagerly twitching kitty.

And then he enters me… slowly.. I gasp with pure pleasure as he started to thrust gentle at first building up tempo as I beg him to go faster…and harder… he eagerly responded..

. I can’t start to tell you how that feels… I was in heaven.

And he sure knows how make me feel good

. And he kept on saying,”oh shit, oh shit, oh shit.”

And I kept thinking “oh shit, oh shit, oh shit.”

He was enjoying me as much as I was enjoying him..

We both cum with a force and I held on to him tightly, not wanting to let him go…  and he was smiling and whispered,

“You felt so good.” and planted a most passionate kiss on my lips..  I smiled… so happy and so pleased.. he was everything I thought he would be.

I was glad I got the opportunity to be with him. It was my best night ever.  I stayed over that night and we made love again& again, I watched him sleep, hold him in my arms and wake up beside him. I came away wanting more and wondering if I will ever a get another chance to be with him. I can’t forget how he looks while he was sleeping or how it feels to hold him in my arms. Truth be told.. I feel in love with him from that moment…. MYLOVE-LOVE

All that week I was walking on air anticipating our next time. Afraid to ask him. couldt take my eye or my mind off him. I kept on picturing that gorgeous, sexy body of his. Going to HOMEDEPOT was a pleasure for me because it means seeing him…

A week has passed and I was hoping for an opportunity to suggest another date.. I wanted him so badly.. I wanted to ravage and devour him all.. I was so eager for another chance.. I wanted more.. yes..more

 

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TO BE CONTINUED…..

MY JAMAICAN XMAS: DAY At THE BEACH 

It was a most beautiful day, with the brilliant sunshine ☀️.. 

So my brother decided it’s BEACH 🌊 DAY… to my delight.. 

I will get to enjoy 😊 eating some fish 🐟.. 

Fried fish 🐟 with festival..,A must have when visiting….

So we started our journey… it’s so amazing to see all the changes that have taken place… almost unrecognizable… 
It took us about an hour to get there..  I was a little excited 😊 to see the beach 🌊… 

pretty clear blue water.. the sun ☀️ blazing hot…  the wind 💨 blowing a nice cool breeze.. the sand so white and  warm beneath our feet…. the waves lapping against shoreline.. People having fun swimming 🏊 and frolicking…

THE HELSHIRE BEACH 🌊


We placed our order for the fish.. and all went to swim .. enjoying the water… and frolicking in the water…

Then comes a shrimp 🍤 vendor… brought a couple bags… it’s a Jamaican delicacy…. very spicy 🌶..

A man with a horse 🐴 walked by…. 

Horse ride anyone..

When we were younger we used to enjoy getting on that horse and ride along the beach 🌊…. the good old days….

As I sat there taking it all in… I reflected back to the times when it was a thrill to visit the beach…all the fun we had… running 🏃🏻 along the shore…having swimming 🏊 contests…. learning to float on our backs…getting burnt but don’t care 🤷‍♀️..we were having too much fun to care…

Then to my amusement…. up walk a man asking ,”anyone for a massage 💆 “…. 

I laughed out loud… this is new…

I shouted back… “is it with a happy ending..”

He looks at me and replied…. 

” it’s always with a happy 😊 ending “

We all bust out laughing 😂….

Poor guy don’t understand the terminology…..

We sat there talking…  making jokes.. watching  the kids swimming 🏊..Until it was time for our fish 🐟 feast.. 

I dive in hungrily and enjoyed every bite… I went through two fish 🐟.. five festivals.. and a peice of bammy..  I was stuffed and smiling happily ,thank my brother to make it possible .. 

It was truly a fun day and a very wonderful way of wrapping up my Christmas 🎄 vacation…..

A DAY At The BEACH


We went in the water 💦 again…. spent another hour…. before heading home 🏡… 

Come tomorrow I’ll be heading homebound.. and I know I will be smiling in reflection of my two weeks in Jamaica 🇯🇲… 

Getting to see old friends.. spending some time with my sisters and brothers… 
laughing 😂 and chatting the night away.. 

Yesss!!!!!!!

It was absolutely awesome 👏 to be back home 🏡….

My CHRISTMAS 🎄 JAMAICAN VACATION:

HAPPY HAPPY 2017
One week has passed since arriving in Jamaica 🇯🇲… 

so many things has changed.. buildings has been demolished..being replaced by new ones… 

so many new and improved features.. can hardly recognize the areas I have walked and roam growing up.. 

My brothers has renovated our house 🏡.. many expansions.. and alterations done.. its a little unfamiliar but very welcoming and comforting to be back home… and In the house 🏡 I have spent most of my life in… 

My mom.. brothers.. and neices and nephews..all receive me with open arms and hearts 💕….

It’s feels so good to be home 🏡.. 

Christmas 🎄 with them has been a thrill.. 
My brother and his daughter made the best breakfast ever… the atmosphere was so pleasant and everyone was in sync and working with such team effort… 

my BFF.. abbey… has taken the time to come and spend some time with me… So we spent all day and all night talking trying to catch up on the past ten years…We laugh 😂 and reminisce about almost everything…

The days are so beautiful 😍.. that it gives a nostalgic feeling…It’s so funny how little things take you back and triggers memories that you somehow have forgotten… it’s seems like a lifetime ago… 

I’m sitting here… outside… reflecting on a time that seems like a dream… our childhood days.. thinking.. what glorious days they were.. 

They are vivid pictures in my mind..  some a little vague.. and patchy.. but still makes me smile with rememberance… 

Yesss… home 🏡 sweet home..

  • No matter far you go or how long you stay away..
  • How much time you invested making your home somewhere else ….
  • How much you love where you are and what you have become..

You will always find yourself a little homesick and nothing can beat the feelings of revisiting the place you once called home..

I’m enjoying and savoring every little moment of this trip.. 

ENJOYING CHRISTMAS 🎄 DINNER..

Our national fruit ackee…

The mountains in the background..

MY LOVE-LOVE: AN UNFORBIDDEN LOVE: Chapter 1

 

 

 

The first week of January …. It was cold and I have noticed that he didn’t have a warm jacket so I brought him a one to wear outside. He accepts and said thanks.. and he walks over to my cash register to express his gratitude.. I have this silly on my face.. just so pleased to have him close and being attentive to me..

Then.. he left and went to talk to one of my co-worker.. she was one of my bestie at the job; we started together.. and she was young , in her twenties..

I noticed his demeanor and saw his smile.. and saw her reaction… and I felt my green monster surfacing.. and i was raging inside and getting all emotional..

It was as if  my whole world came crashing down on me. He was flirting with my little friend veronica.  OH BOY! I was so jealous & crushed. 

. Then she walked over to me and told me she didnt like me coming on to her guy. I  smile and asked her if he is flirting with her and if he liked her …and wanted to know if she likes him in return. She said yes.

I was so hurt and I tried really hard not to show my feelings but I was dying with jealousy on the inside..

I was so devastated but this is what I did….. I encourage her to be with him. Dont know why I wanted to do that because I was dying inside. I guess I liked her and I liked him and I just thought they are age appropriate….

He spent all day with her.. even went  to lunch together… i was acting and feeling rejected as if we had a relationship going…. It was here that I realize just how strong my emotions has gotten.. My heart was breaking and my hopes of experiencing this marvelous species of a man was lost…

I thought he likes me; I want him to like me.  I could not function or focus.  I was too distracted with them..  I cried, yes cried because I thought thats the end of my story.  Well my day was ruin I couldnt wait to leave and everywhere veronica went so did he and so did my eyes. 

When I was leaving ,I seek him out… and I found him… He was talking to her… I went over to them ask him if I could see him. He came to me and I spill my guts. I told  him just how much I like him  and how I wanted him and how I have made love to him a thousand times in my mind.

Well he just casually blew me off tells me it was all for fun and that he does not like me like that. Of course my heart sank and I was so upset. I came home in tears and I decided to text him exactly how I feel. I pour my heart out saying things that was not even appropriate, but I thought it didnt matter because it was over. He now has veronica.

 So he text me back telling me that he didnt know that I felt like that and hes sorry if he hurt me but he was for real and still is…Still is?? I didn’t really expect that answer..

I thought I would leave things as is.. .. It was the beginning of a very emotional roll-a-coaster for me. So I kind of gave up on him but try to remain his friend.

I would still text him and seek him out especially after my shift to talk to him,  inquiring about his relationship with  veronie.  acting all interested … but still a bit jealous…

  I would also ask her about them too… I would try to advise her and encourage her to like him. And at the same time feel like a hypocrite because here I am still wants him still feel for him and with my heart breaking Im playing nice.I do like her and I thought he was the best.

..He would still talk  about us getting  together and I wanted to …so tempted…but every time I see him with vernie I felt unsure. 

There was a little episode involving him and this other girl at the store…( every girl want a piece of his sexy ass). She got jealous of him and vernie and started a rumor about him and her. So I said oh shit, I dont need this drama.  But he started to seek me out to talk to me…showing interest in me.. starting again to flirt with me… and of course I love this attention and when he again start to imply us getting together I was more than willing.

he called me.. we talked about us and what’s been happening between us..and our desire to  get  involved… I now realize he has been thinking about me sexually….So I agreed to enter a relationship with him…. eagerly..

  We both agree it would be casual for long as he was single and if and when he find someone else it would mean the end of us. And I agreed to the terms, thought I could handle a fling without getting emotionally attached.  You see I had build up this fantasy with him and I wanted to experience him.

I didn’t even asked about veronie… I didn’t even care… all that matters is …I’m going get my chance to enjoy him as much as I want to… and i couldn’t wait for that time to come..

We made a date one evening …. I was so excited and a bit nervous.. as I got ready I was getting so flustered and getting a stir with thought of loving on him.. and having him loving me..I was anxious just to be next to him..

but at the last minute he cancelled because his brother got himself in some kind of trouble ad he said he have to go take care of him…, and I thought WOW!! What a guy so dedicated to his family. I was so intrigued by him from the beginning.

I was very disappointed to say the least.. but I understood.. I was so impressed with how caring he was and how loyal and kind he seems to be..

and I waited impatiently for the next time….

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TO BE CONTINUED……..