GROWING IN ONE’S LIKE: GAINING ONE’S FAVOR…

…. coming home from my church group one Saturday evening.. I met this guy on the bus..he was really nice and we really connected.. so before my stop he invited me to the movies and I accepted…

So the Saturday we had our date.. of course we took the bus..

Can’t recall if I had told anyone about this date but when he came to pick me up.. of course … all knew… I fully enjoyed his company and he kindly dropped me off home..

I waited with him to get the next bus.. and while we were waiting he asked me if I mind him kissing me…of course I was very bashful..

But I told him yes.. and there goes my first kiss..

Well next morning was church so I got got ready and go ask my stepmom for bus fare.. SMH 🤦‍♀️….

My stepmom turned to me quite angrily and told me that I should go and ask the man I went out with last night… I mumbled something under my breath in defense… walking away from her… pouting..

I break the news of my decision to join the nunnery to my dad… and for the first time my dad sit me down and talk to me..

We sat there for almost two hours.. he lectured me on the cons of being a nun and let me know by all means that he doesn’t approve of me making the choice to become a nun..

One of his reasons were.. it was a waste of life… he promised me if I changed my mind which he strongly recommended.. that he would pay for any school of my choice…

I really loved my dad.. and I always yearn for his approval and I want to please him so much that I agreed and told him that I will follow his suggestions.. he really thought my decision was based on me being home and became bored…

So next day I set out to find me a school.. I didn’t have a clue.. but I chose one and he lived up to his promise and pay for my enrollment…

Well my life took off on another journey…

I met this man became intimately involved.. and over the next few years… I started to spiral out of control.. of course I was alone in my world.. my stepmom still treats me with so much indifference and ignored me more than not..

Whenever she address for whatever reason.. it was always in a negative way.. very unkind and very mean… I have learnt to ignore her as well.. she and my older sister became inseparable.. my little sister.. I didn’t have clue what she was doing…

I was home when I went in labor.. it was 11 at night… my father took me to the hospital.. but didn’t stay… I was alone.. my baby father was not in my life then.. so he was not aware of me having the baby…

I continued to do things without the interference of anyone.. and only my dad would sometimes observe my behavior and would call me and asked me adjust my attitude …

I got pregnant with my oldest son.. at 23…I lived with my husband up to seven months then moved back home…

It took me 24 hours in labor before my son was born.. and the last hour my stepmom decided to come be with me… she was there for his birth..

I got back together with my husband after I had our son… but he was American and after a year and a half he decided to come back home.. leaving us behind…

I was very hurt 😞 and I had to find work to maintain my baby… surprisingly my stepmom offers to babysit fo me while I go to work… I was very appreciative but somehow lacking in showing it..

I ended up working three jobs… leaving early in the morning.. and coming home late at nights.. I took much disadvantage of my stepmom and of my dad’s kindness…I did abuse them…

My stepmom however never complained about my absence.. my dad however mentioned it a few times letting me know that I need to spend some time with my son…

Back then.. I defended my actions.. with reassurance that he is well taken care of..

( sometimes I wish I could turn back time…and be more attentive to my baby… I just couldn’t see the damage it was causing my son)

So I started to appreciate her for doing this for me… she didn’t have to… although our relationship did not improve much.. she would negative comments about my parenting… but never sit me down and advise me how to improve and be a better mom…

( looking back.. I really think she wanted me to fail…she wanted to prove that I was not capable or responsible enough to be a mom)

This went on for the next three years when we lost my dad to an heart attack…

He was the glue that holds our family together and with his sudden death.. we all fell apart…

It has a very huge impact on me.. I lost one whole year.. I went through it in a daze.. and I can’t remember one single event in that year.. it’s a complete blank..

He died November 1991.. and next thing I remember was 1993….

….TO BE CONTINUED…..

The next era of my existence…

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MY CHRISTMAS 🎄 VACATION: Jamaica 🇯🇲

So… One week from now.. I’ll be in that beautiful island 🌴 of  Jamaica 🇯🇲…

The place I called home 🏡…

It so funny how we always grow up wanting to leave home to explore and be anywhere except where we are..

We never stop to appreciate where we are.. what we have… everywhere seems so much more appealing.. and we fantasize and imagine how a different location would be so much better.. 

• I have been away from home for 21 years…

I have made it my home..  

Raise my kids…. made a career.. I was content 😌….

But I find myself self getting all home sick.. and longing for the place I grow up and spent all my childhood days…
The memories.. . The fun..  the laughter.. the teardrops .. the fights…and vast amounts of love ❤️…  

I’m sometimes in awe of people I meet and converse with..their reaction to me being a Jamaican… 

They asked how could I give up Jamaica for here… most would do almost anything to visit.. they talked about Jamaica as if it’s a paradise…

And I would smile in realization that I’m so fortunate to be born a Jamaican… 

I never thought it was anywhere special … didn’t know I was in paradise until someone else pointed it out to me .. 

Because of work and kids and life.. I haven’t took the time to visit back home in the last ten years… And I’m getting the opportunity to go back home for Christmas..

• Yayyyy!!!
• Doing the happy dance 💃!!

I’m very excited.. can’t wait to walk the streets I did way back when…  see the house I have grown up in.. visit the beaches.. the mall.. 

And most of all.. celebrate Christmas with my family and friends.. 

It’s going to be two glorious weeks in paradise.. and I plan to enjoy 😊 every single minute of it.. 

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NATURE’S NATURAL BEAUTY

SUNFLOWERS…

SUNFLOWERS, ARE THE BRIGHTEST AND ONE OF THE PRETTIEST FLOWER… EVERY SPRING I PLANT SUNFLOWER AND WATCH THEM BLOOM; I WOULD CUT SOME AND PUT THEM IN A VASE IN MY LIVING ROOM… AAAH!!!!! SO SPLENDID AND BRIGHTENS UP THE WHOLE HOUSE AND ADD A LITTLE SUNSHINE…

Nature’s natural beauty … so much to be admired and be grateful for… so much  beauty around to make you smile and allow you appreciate life.

ROSES: THE MOST LOVED FLOWERS ….

 

I HAVE ALWAYS LOVE ROSES… MY FAVORITE IS THE YELLOW ROSES… WE HAVE USE THE ROSES FOR EVERY SPECIAL MOMENTS… DATING; VALENTINE’S DAY; ANNIVERSARIES ECT. ECT.

I have always wanted to have a roses garden with all the different colors; but I have never materialize that dream, I wasn’t much of a gardener and didn’t have the patience it took …I admire those who can really take out the time to dedicated in creating this most beautiful garden full of roses.

I have always kept a few stem roses in my bedroom, just waking up to those roses every morning  put  a smile on my face and brighten my whole day.

FLOWERS ARE THE COLORS OF THIS WORLD…WITH ROSES; SUNFLOWERS; ORCHIDS…. THEY LIGHT UP YOUR LIFE WITH BEAUTY ;

So next time you are out, grab you a bouquet of flowers; put a little sunshine in your life…

THE COLORS OF THE SKY:

The natural beauty of Sky… The golden yellow…the deep blue.. The orange-red..

One of the many unexplained wonders of the world.. How many of us stop to appreciates its beauty.. And all it has to offer…

We tend to get so caught up in our lives.. Work.. Kids.. Hobbies… That we don’t sit still long enough to notice and enjoy what nature gives… We get so wound up… On the go all the time.. That we missed out on the real joys of life… The colors of the sky… The sound of children playing… Having fun.. Carefree..

But… a mind full of.. Problems to be solved… Setting of alarms.. Time wasted on fruitless thoughts; and before you know it another day is gone… Without much accomplishment.. And life becomes monotonous… Empty… Something feels amiss.. Something is missing.. Boredom sets in.. Then depression… We look for reasons to complain.. People to blame…never satisfied, can’t be content…create misery for oneself and everyone around you…

We never stopping to relax..Get rejuvenated.. Get refreshed…stop… take a moment to asses your life  and your schedules; And change your approach and your attitude…

Enjoy the beauty of the world… Inhale.. Take it all in.. Feel the difference a little quiet time can do for you…and above all be grateful for life and be happy to be a part of this wonderful world we are so fortunate to inherit.

.

THE MOST BEAUTIFUL TIME OF THE DAY:

THE SUNSET:

I love to watch the sunset, where ever I am… at home in my backyard; on my patio; driving home; on the beach… to me it’s the most beautiful sight… the colors of the sky, the softness of the evening, the end of another day… and the feeling of the day melting away.

I close my eyes and I feel relaxed, and a smile finds my face, lost in the feeling of joy and the beauty of the evening as it slowly darkens.

AND WE LIVE IN THE MOMENT ENJOYING IT’S BEAUTY AND SPLENDOR;