There is a kind of thrill… that comes with intriguement …mixed with a surge of excitement.. when you connect with someone from around the globe…
You get to learn so much.. from their language..to their culture.. their historical facts.. first handed… and then you learn everything there is about that one person you are connecting with…
No matter the platform of communicating.. in the beginning.. it fun to talk and learn… the more you connect the more you know each other as is… you figured out there personality and sometimes you find you have this strong connection…
And if you fall for someone’s personality… then you definitely fall for them.. looks is never important when you like someone for their personality..
But…
What destiny was it that pull you together… and make your world collided…how did you happen to cross paths… that allows such a beautiful connection…
Of course it’s not everyone you meet this way… is going to have this results or affects you in the same way…
But…
On rare occasion someone finds this connection.. and over time . It is proven that words and sharing.. is a powerful magnet… and before you know it.. you are emotionally invested… with someone you don’t even know on a personal level….
And when the heart chooses to get involved… it becomes a huge challenge emotionally…. and here is where the fantasy world begins….
How do you stay logical and practical.. and realistic…
Especially if there is no hope of a real relationship to materialize… yet letting go or walking away is not an option… because just the thought of stopping communication and breaking connection causes excruciating pain.. and you know it would be devastating….
How long is this fantasy gonna last before one of the party losses interest…
We get so caught up living in our fantasy world.. that we begin to believe in it… we tried to hold on to it like a lifeline… so blinded to the true fact of the matter… that none of this is real unless you both decided to make it so..
No relationship can survive in fantasy land… yes two words can collide.. and you experience serendipity…
But ..
Unless you both make it real by Uniting.. be prepared that it’s only a matter of time before this fantasy world collapses. And crumbles…
HEART CRUMBLING…
Leaving you with only memories of yesterday… wondering what happened to the love you knew…. a connection based on fantasy will never survived…
That broken heart 💔 is very real though… it comes with intensity…. and you are crushed just the same… your heart doesn’t know distances… the love you feel is real and genuine…
LOST LOVE 💕
So you just have to remain realistic… be practical… and exercise some logics… don’t go expecting the impossible… when it’s way beyond your control…
In all my adult life.. all the connections I have form.. have ended with a broken heart 💔….
Rejection is one emotions… I became familiar with…. I have cried many a tears .. after being crushed by a lover… I have experience excruciating pain… from being rejected..
CRUSHED
Rejection.. brings and conjured up so many negative thoughts … feelings… and emotions… especially when you are totally invested emotionally….
For some reason… I will be the perfect girl.. until I’m face with rejection. I have never learnt how to deal with this one emotion..
My first reaction is is to run.. get away from the person and the source..I get discouraged… I withdraw in a shell… I become timid. Unsure.. I lose my confident composure..
I get scared of losing.. but don’t know how to hold on… I’m always ready to run…. I pull away.. I stop communicating.. afraid of the answers to any questions I may asked….
What do don’t know won’t hurt you..
What the eyes don’t see…. the heart won’t leap…( get hurt 😢)
All my life… I yearned for someone to love me.. just love me unconditionally ..
Okay .. got married three times.. all ended for some reason or another..
Had a few flings in between and after… nothing permanent…after all fails …..
I decided to try online… I mess up here too.. my first time was a big disaster… the second.. third.. ect.. was not better… still come away with a broken heart…
WORLD APART
I found I have a way with words….. i could use my words to persuade any situation… when I started online… I had many admirers who genuinely likes me… because of what I have to say…I guess I didn’t know the power of my words … and what a huge impact they have…I tried to control the connections until my heart decided to step and get involved…
I find it very hard to keep my emotions out of the equation… I easily catch feelings… I’m always so vulnerable… even though it’s not on a personal basis.. it just virtual.. I struggle to maintain a causal connection… at first I thought I was able to do this without becoming emotionally involved… but before long…I prove myself wrong…
I decided I’m no good at this so I gave it up.. before I had completely dissolved my accounts..I had this one guy that I really liked.. and he said he likes me too…
He suggested we switch corresponding platforms and I agreed.. then he asked me to be exclusive to him.. I again agreed…
I was not having much of fun anymore anyways… and I really like this guy… he was not a fake.. he is as real as they come .. and he communicate with me everyday and he always responded to me no matter what…
I love this and the attention it creates..I really believed he likes me… he started to share his world with me.. so much I grew accustomed to talking to him everyday…
Before I know it .. 7 years has passed… nothing has changed.. except.. for some unknown reasons.. my feelings began to escalate… I realized I’m demanding more of him… yet most days He spent talking to as I wake up and reach out to him.. till he goes off to sleep..
He never ignores me… but I find myself doubting him… for no apparent reason….I’m getting so insecure… and me .. I’m so crazy… expecting him to sit on that phone and talk to non stop…
OThere is .. 4500 miles between us…he has a complete life.. he is not lacking in any department..
He has his family.. and he’s very much involved in their lives.. he got his job.. his friends. His hobbies..
And he has me.. and maybe. Others… an online connection… why he choose to continue to talk to me and share his world… I really don’t know..
But.. I’m not even someone to him..
I’m something.. a connection from another continent.. who thinks he’s most perfect man.. who value all his suggestions.. lessons.. listen intently to his stories and believe every word he said without query… who gets involved in his hobbies… I’m his biggest fan..
I’m not a permanent fix in his life.. I’m not essential to him. I don’t add anything to his life.. he already has it all..
So if I’m not there anymore.. it will never affect him… he can easily cut ties without a second thought…
And this is what hurts so bad… to know he doesn’t need me…
on the flip-side. There stands me..
I’m single… kids grown.. retired ..not much friends.. zero hobbies… so I look to him for entertainment.. I Cling to him for emotional support…. I need him to brighten my day…to give me something to look forward to…. I crave his attention.. I get so involved in his world and his hobbies just so I can stay connected to him….
So now I’m left to step way back and suppressed all this romantic emotions that I choose to develop .. creating the emotional havoc on my heart…. I need to back off and drop it all if I want to continue connecting with him…
Because he’s practical enough to know that this is just friendship. It can not be anything else so why start something that could never materialized….
Yess .. I’m overreacting.. I’m overthinking.. I’m crossing all kinds of unnecessary lines…
He spent hours on the phone with me.. and I’m so selfish that I doubt him or thinks he is ignoring me.. when he is not online… as if he has no life outside me or his phone..
I’m just fortunate that he loves his phone so much… he like addicted.. and so to be honest.. I abuse this… but I have to learn to give him space..
Yes my heart is breaking.. but I’m the one who is solely responsible this time…
I didn’t heard from him all week. I was thinking all kind of negative thoughts. I thought no call… no text. No surprise here… He got the money and some loving, so I’m all forgotten.
With No communication I sarcastically Guess he’s too busy to think of me. I pay big for the lesson .. you can’t buy friendship…I Still means nothing to him, not even as friends. All that speech I gave him about keeping me close only last as long as it takes to get the funds he was after…
By the end of the week I gave up hearing from him…Still nothing from him.. he went silent again… So much for our deal, I thought..I’m the only one that wants friendship so badly that I have to pay for it.
I asked myself…Why do I feel that it is so important to be his friend that I had to pay down on it? Well! It’s obvious that he is not interested in being friends.. The only time he really stop to think of me is when he needs a cash cow… someone to use for his financial needs….
It does still bothers me that to know that he can come and love me like he does and then just walk away without a second thought…. how can a man be that cold that he can separate his feelings from intimacy…
His kisses and his loving tells me some thing completely different ..he gives me his all without reservations…
But.. it’s all a act… and I’m left confused and trying to console myself.. trying to find any little reason to convince myself that he likes me even a little bit….
It didn’t take me too long to resume back to the attitude of letting go… I developed the attitude of “whatever”… It’s been going on so long repeatedly that I kinda got used to his behaviour… I decided to carry on as is and wait until he decided to come looking for me…
I didn’t try to contact or reach out to him like I used to do.. I now know that this is his game… and he will just ignored my text messages.. and I’m tired of feeling rejected by him….
Occasionally when I get up to get ready for work I would send a goodnight text messages.. sometimes I would receive a short response ..and I would smile… but I never tried to start a conversation.. and he never offers…
After a couple weeks have passed.. I began to feel for the need of him.. I was itching for some of his loving and I secretly hope to hear from him… I was more than tempted a few times to reach out as I did in the past.. but I resisted..
I would just indulge in some self love.. while I visualized him making love to me.. and surprisingly it would ease and my pent up raging desires..
Just the thought of him and the memories of our sexual encounters would always heightened my whole body with a deep burning desire that leaves me so stimulated that I couldn’t resist but give kitty some petting to stop her from twitching and pulsating with the wants of him….
To my pleasure and delight.. a couple weeks later…I received a text messages asking me if I had work that night … I responded .. letting him know I did … it was kinda late … just a couple hrs before I had to get up…so him coming by would not be … so when he asked if he can come by.. I simply told him I have to get some sleep for work…
He did not mention any need for money.. and I was puzzled that he wants to come by… just because….I was a little disappointed that I had work…. so much I thought of calling in sick… but I refuse to allow myself to always be at his disposal…
All night I thought of him.. though…my mind and heart and kitty was at war…. and at times I wished I had called off and have him over.. so we could a repeat another night of passion… I had the chance but I blew it…. I knew there might not be another chance again…
I went home next day still with the feeling of regret that I didn’t grab the opportunity to enjoy him one more time… but…he again surprised me with a phone call that day… letting me know that that he was in studio and he was just thinking of me .. he asked how I was doing.. I apologize for the previous night.. and he assured me it was all good … and he will get me next time…
I smiled.. and chuckles a little… I told him I would love that and ask him not to wait too long…. he giggled in humor and promised me that he won’t…
We ended our conversation .. I was left with a very warm feeling that travels to some really interesting places…. I was smiling and hoping that he lived up to his promise.. I again realized that he didn’t asked for any financial assistance… and this pleases me..
Hmm .. could it be that he just wanted to see for sexual favors… is he really wanting me sexually.. without me suggesting it….I laughed out loudly… thinking.. yess … yess.. yesss. He likes me…
The following day I was off and I sit there with sweet thoughts him playing in my mind .. making my heart do somersaults… which sent electrical jolts to travel downwards and stop right between my thighs.. that sent shivers down my spine.. causing kitty to get all excited …
Now with kitty affected .. I was losing control.. so I decided to send him a text with the hopes to convince to come on over and make kitty happy…. I live to please her….
He answers.. I asked him if he okay.. trying to lead up to the point of requesting his presence… but he saved me the effort by asking me if I had work that night… I quickly told him I’m off.. and to my greatest pleasure he invited himself over… without hesitation I excitedly asked him how soon can he get here…
He quickly said.. “ I’m on my way “…
Of course I was overjoyed. And I quickly went took me a shower.. put on my best and sexist negligée… I splashed some nice smelling perfume on.. put on a little lip gloss…. I was just getting my bed all neat and nice when he rang my doorbell….
I went to let him in.. and as soon as I open the door I let out a most joyful squeal and jumped up on him with legs wrapped around his waist and flung my arms around his neck … it took him by surprise that he slightly stumbled and had to step quickly backwards to regain his balance…
I was kissing his face and just hugging him tightly… he jokingly said… easy tigress, let me get inside first.. he walked in closed the door.. with me still clinging to him… he slowly ease me down to the floor.. took my hand in his and ushered me along.. saying ,
“ come on my little vixen….” I giggled 🤭.. and said.. I’m all kinds of exotic animal tonight, eh????!!!He looks down on me.. smiling.. and pulled me to him and whispered in my ear as as kissed my neck..” uhhuh…
I just melt into his arms.. throw my head backwards. Giving him all access to lay his sweet kisses…he gently ease me onto the bed… and I found his lips with mine and kissed him ever fervently . He matches my zealousness… he rolled me over to straddle him as he lay on his back…
I pulled his shirt over his head.. and as he allowed me to he whispered softly.. in his sexy husky voice…love me hun…
I smile at him kiss him again on those voluptuous lips.. he kissed me very intensely as he held the back of my head, running his hand occasionally through my hair as he let out soft moans…
I moved down to his neck …., loving on him as he urges me to….sliding my body to align with his.. as I kissed his neck I gravitate my hips against his hard throbbing bulge… I slid in an up and down motion on that bulge.. as he reached down to caress my buttocks…
It was straining against his pants… so he started to undo his belt.. I slid off the bed.. as he kicked off his shoes… and I helped him out of his pants… I decided to stay where I am .. I kneel on the floor between his legs .. took him in my hand.. as I licked at it slowly.. running my tongue all the way to the shaft and back upward to find the tip again… I used the flat of my tongue to slid a few more times up and down…
He one hand on my shoulder and the next on top of my head… as he was reciting his favorite words of pleasure… shiit .. shitt.. shitt.. ooh yes . Yess . That s it baby…
Next thing I know I was on the bed . As he position me on my knees… he made one fast and hard move and he was inside my dripping soaking wet kitty…,
he pounded me fiercely bringing me to the heights of ecstasy as he pumped me full of his hott spunk… I was flat on my tummy then… with him on my back.. both of us drenched in each other sweat… as we catch our laboring breath….
I jokingly said to him.. “ my lovelove.. that was most invigorating…“
He just responded with a “ yup “…. sounding very proud indeed..
We lay there for few more minutes until we regain normal breathing.. kitty was still twitching a little .. he moved off me and lie on his back.. I turned around and took his hard , move his fingers to touch kitty.. hoping for him to bring her again to an orgasm….
He moved his hand away ever so swiftly.. and said.. “eww…” I laugh and ask him what’s wrong..
He had this look of disgust on his face as he said..
“ hun… that’s sperm.. go get cleaned up…”.. I started to laugh out really hard… as I said to him . It’s your sperm silly… I swiped a little from my legs and teasingly ask him if he wants a taste.. .
His reaction was so humorous… he got up quickly.. pulling me towards the bathroom as I was dying with laughter.. he turned on the shower and said.. “ wash yourself off..”
I couldn’t stop laughing.. I was so tickled…
I came out wrapped in towel.. and saw him smoking a cigarette… looking very relaxed… I sat down beside him.. gently rubbing his beautiful chest with my hand.. I said to him,,
All cleaned”… as I bent to place a few kisses on that irresistible chest… he looked at me and just flashed me a smile… then he did something that really made me blush… he gently touched my cheek .. and softly caress it with the back of his fingers…. I leaned my head onto those fingers.. close my eyes enjoying his touch… I then feel him cup my face with both hand pulling me towards him as he rises his face to meet mine…
He gently kisses me and softly whisperers…
“ I needed that so much… thank you !!!”
I eagerly return his kisses …smile and hugged him to me and he returned my hug with a squeeze …
I was very happy to be with him sharing this tender moment….While he is here with me nothing else or nobody else matters. I savor and enjoy him as much as I can.
Sometimes I can’t believe how much joy I derived from this one guy….
He stayed for most of the night… we made Love again.. and I fell asleep in the crook of his arms.. I woke up cradled by him in a spooning position…
I turn around and wrapped my arms around him and buried my face in his chest as I inhaled his scent and relished his warmth….I woke him up… with my movements and he returned my hug as he apologetically said he has to go..
I reluctantly let him go.. he got up .. got dressed.. as I watched him .. and begging him to stay the rest of night…
He bent over kiss me.. and said he can’t.. I got up and walked him to the door… there he gives me a huge hug , kisses me ever so sweetly.. let me go and whispered.. see you soon…
I watched him drive away.. and I smile with pleasure.. I was beaming with joy.. MYLOVELOVE Came.. stayed a little..loves me a lot… I was again totally in love … and very gratifyingly fulfilled…
After our latest rendezvous… and he blurting out unintentionally that he loves me… I started to have a little hope about us…
He was a little more attentive and even sent me a few text messages just to say hi…. I was sure he was liking me some… I carry a delightful smile all week … feeling connected to him…
The following Wednesday , he asked me if I could babysit his three kids for him. I accepted because apart from getting a chance to be with him I love his babies.
So he picked me up before he had to leave for work….and took me over to his place… I spent the evening with them telling stories fix them dinner…and trying to entertain them…..they were good.. and well behaved…
It was an early day for him.. he walked in.. . And I was as happy as the kids to see him…He was a bit distant as usual. But I figured he was just tired….
He took his son, helps him with his homework .. I sat there looking at him in admiration and adoration… he was so dedicated to his kids… he then went to lie down and soon fell asleep. I let him sleep knowing that he must be drained and exhausted after a long day at work…
I give the kids their baths and got them into bed…after they were all asleep… I went and gently lie next to him . I was still dressed … as I cuddled up next to him just to feel his warmth…
I wasn’t expecting for him to want anything sexual.. I was trying to be understanding … I didn’t forget the last time I was here with his kids present….and how I had behaved and reacted…
Even though just being with him causes provocative stimulating reactions… I refuse to act on them.. I guess I dozed off snuggled up to him…
Because I was awoken by him Into the night … he was tugging at my jeans… He tries to love on me but he stopped when I asked him if he’s sure he wants to with the kids here…. he simply answered.. yes you are right…!!
He then instructed me to take off my clothes and get comfortable and get back in the bed… I got up do as he asked.. brush my teeth .. and went back to join him… he held up the covers for me to get under and I do so willingly…
He hugged me close… kiss me and said.. “thank you “…. I smile and nodding affirmatively.. and replied causally..
“ you are welcome MyLoveLove….”
I knew he meant staying with his kids for him… we fell asleep like that till morning when I feel him jerking me awake.. I open my eyes and he asked me if I could get the kids up and get them ready.. I happily obliged…
I got up and he playfully slap me on the butt.. I jumped not expecting it.. gave out a little squeal.. ..turn to him and push at his shoulders giggling.. he fell back onto the bed.. pull the covers over himself and said..
“ wake me up when they are ready to go.. “ I just shake my head…
I got the kids up.. help them get dressed…. fixed them breakfast.. and while they were eating he walked into the kitchen asking if we are ready to go…
I went to collect my belongings and a few minutes later we were on our way.. he dropped the kids to school before he took me home…
He thank me again and said he appreciates me… and let me know that the kids like me and always ask for me..
I was very tickled to learn this.. and I smile saying.. “that’s good.. I love that they like me “…
As I watched him drive away… I was feeling very good about spending the night with him.. and even better.. sleeping in his arms without having sex.. just like an old couple I thought….
We did not see each other for the next couple of weeks, except at work. He did not have too much to say and ignored me for most part. He was back to be his old self.. I was a little confused .. but learning fast to accept him as is… I realize he only used me at his convenience… it hurts me to know this but I know I do allow him to..
Although I was feeling broken up and wanted more I know that we weren’t really together and that he doesn’t like me like that. But I took consolation to be able to see him daily it gives me some joy. I tell myself….Just seeing him was enough to make me happy.
I tried to avoid him and leave him alone as much as I could.. but seeing him everyday and interacting with him work wise was not helping…
With broken-hearted … my feelings really crushed… and my decision to end our secret affair.. I began to play his game….ignoring him.. I still couldn’t get pass just how cold he is towards me… after all those nights of sweet passionate love making…
How can he be so distant and so mean to me in public.. but.. behind closed doors … he is so damn loving and sweet and warm… he is always so receptive and giving of himself fully and completely…
How can he separate his feelings from sex…??? And how can he look at me and completely forget our nights of passion…
Anyways….. I’m done…
I noticed that he was not around Veronica too much either… and curiosity got the best of me.. so I asked her what was happening between them… she tells me that he was very mean to her without giving details…. and that she’s no longer with him..
I had mixed emotions… because I could see just how hurt she was… and it pains she to see her experiencing such heartache… I want so much to be able to comfort her… but I just didn’t know how.. without putting him down.. which I know I couldn’t…
I was still so infatuated to the point of being in love with him.. so much that I was blinded to his faults… I still hold him in high esteem and he was still this perfect awesome amazing guy in my eyes…
With this this new founded knowledge.. of their separation…my feelings began to resurfaced and got renewed. I became more receptive to his smiles and started to seek him out again to talk to him but kept it causal… I still haven’t forgotten what he had said about us not in a relationship…
I was regretting agreeing to the terms of our relationship.. I didn’t know how to change it.. didn’t know how to confess my true feelings because truth be told….my feelings and desires for him is far from being causal…
I thought I was able to have a sexual affair without getting my heart involved… little did I know.. I have no control over my heart… and my mind was confused… the heart wants what it wants… and it wants him…
Within a week after that incident..
I was on my way to Walgreens .. my first job… when I got a unexpected text from him…
“I am at home can u come by 2nit.” ????……
I was kinda surprised.. but pleased at the same time… I responded letting him know I was on my way to work…. he was very understanding and implied there will be a next time…
I would have love to be able to go over and It made me realized just how much I still want to be with him.. as much as I tried to suppress my feelings and try to move beyond him…one little text from him undo all my efforts and put me right back to where I was..
I didn’t correspond with him for the next few days… but that text keeps playing in my mind… it had been on my mind constantly and I thought I blew a chance to be with him… I really doubted that he would ever repeat that request..
Thinking of him this much only allowed my feelings to intensify to the point of making my urges and my desire grew so strong is became unbearable….
I finally gave in to my feeling and decided to send him a text…asking him to include me on his agenda for that day.
I know it was suggestive but I was itching to be with him. And nothing beats a try but a failure…so I thought I’d asked. To my surprise.. he responded…
he said he was going to be busy but he’ll see what’s up later. …
It sounds promising but I was not convinced that there will be a later… I was kinda disappointed but pleased that he responded to me…
I had completely given up on hearing from him..but to my surprise and total pleasure he called apx. 8pm …. I eagerly and promptly answered…
he let me know had somewhere to go at midnight but he can see me until then if I still want to come over… I let him know that I would love to come and spend the time him… so I got ready and headed over….
I was very nervous with anxiety…. it’s been a while since our last rendezvous… as usual my heart was beating hard against my chest… I had butterflies in the pit of my stomach…and my knees feel like jelly…
I got to his door and knock timidly…GOD! …… When he opens that door, he was the most beautiful sight I ever behold. That smile, that face, that man, that beautiful and gorgeous man, I smile ever so pleasingly…because I have longed and yearned to be with him these last few weeks and here I am, ….finally. …..and with heart racing and hands shaking just to touch him .. it takes all my control not to jump on him, Instead…
I sat down beside him. He was watching a program on the TV… and We sat there trying to focus on it… I was finding it hard to …and I keep stealing glances at him willing him to instigate and initiate some form of physical contact…
He must have sense my desire, or read my mind…because he said,
, “What you came for, to watch T.V.? “
He did not have to say another word..that was my cue. With his permitted invite….I immediately start to kiss him. I love kissing these lips… his kisses set fire to my whole being….to ignite that burning desire in my loins…
I love on him like I was hungry; I couldn’t get enough of him. He matches my intense urges with his.. he was like a man possessed … he quickly got out of his clothes and helped me out of mine.. and as he continued to bathe me in his kisses … he guided me under him.. as he find his way in my soaking wet and supple kitty…
I wrapped my legs around his hips and heist my buttocks to meet his thrusts..
I could feel him swelling up to burst inside me.. just as I was getting ready to explode with sweet ecstasy…
He screams.. “ ooh shitt.. ooh shitt… ooh shiiiittt..!!!!!! As he made one last deep thrust and stopped as he empties in me… he made a few more small thrust as sweats washes his whole body… that he became so slippery…… I lie under him completely satisfied as I feel his results of his most arduous loving dripping down my legs..
He gently pulled out and it gushes out… I got up and pulled him up with me.. leading him to the showers…. we got in.. I lathered him up as he lean against the wall so exhausted from our session…
He had his back against the wall standing there with his head thrown back resting on the wall … his eyes were closed.. and his body limp and fully relaxed as if he was about to doze off… the shower was beating against my back splashing onto him … causing ripples of droplets cascading down his chest…I continued to soap his chiseled chest.. I couldn’t resist but to place small kisses on it.. I moved Down to his belly button.. and focus a little in that area.. I was stooping at this point..
I was so busy enjoying the taste of him .. getting all stimulated that kitty was twitching and getting all moist… when I felt him poking my chest.. I stopped .. glanced up on his face and he was looking down at me with a devilish smile and pleasure in his eyes.. I squinted with a silly smile.. shaking my head… and then I chuckled mischievously…
He then placed his hands on my head and motion me to his bulge…I obliged his request and take him in my mouth..after only a few moments he picked me up to a standing position and place me to face the wall.. he placed his right hand on my belly pushing my buttocks in a upward position.. that I ended up on my tippy toes.. and leaning forward holding on to the walls for support…
He kept his hand where it was offering some balance.. as he slowly but swiftly enters me… with the shower falling on us .. he gave me one of the most memorable sexual experiences we have had..
We finished with a blast.. shower and headed to the bedroom where he helped me to towel off and I helped him in return… I asked him if he would like a massage but he apologetically refuses saying he has to get going…
We both got dressed and he took me home.. kissed me and said. “ love you “… I looked at him quizzically… smile but didn’t make a comment… I walked away from him .. thinking…
“Was that for real…or was it a slip of the tongue ?…..
I thought the latter… but…
His lovemaking was so good. He made love to me like he means it and I enjoyed every single minute of him. I left him very pleased and happy. I secretly hope that he was actually liking me .. I want him to so much to…
When I’m with him ….I find that I don’t have much to say …I just tried to enjoy him and every moment I have with him… there is never the promise of tomorrow.. so I just live in the moment…..
I’m still left with wanting more of him…and I hope that another chance arises soon… and until that opportunity comes around… I will just be waiting ever so impatiently….
This poem was written by an old who died in a nursing home…
After he died;
Amongst the patients belongings, memories of an entire life, they ( the nurses)found this poem:
SEE ME:
What do you see nurses? What do you see?
What are you thinking, when you look at me?
A cranky old man, not very wise,
Uncertain of habit, with faraway eyes?
Who dribbles his food and makes no reply.
When you say in a loud voice, “I do wish you’d try!”
Who seems not to notice, the things that you do.
And forever is losing… a sock or a shoe?
Who, resisting or not lets you do as you will,
With bathing and feeding, the long day to fill?
Is that what you’re thinking? Is that what you see?
Then open you eyes, nurse. You’re not looking at me.
I’ll tell you who I am, as I sit here so still,
As I do at your bidding, as I eat at your will.
I’m a small child of ten, with a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters, who love one another.
A young boy of sixteen, with wings on his feet
Dreaming that soon now, a lover he’ll meet.
A groom soon at twenty, my heart gives a leap,
Remembering the vows, that I promised to keep.
At twenty-five, now I have young of my own,
Who need me to guide, and a secure happy home.
A man of thirty, my young now grown fast,
Bound to each other, with ties that should last.
At forty, my young sons have grown and are gone,
But my woman is beside me, to see that I don’t mourn.
At fifty once more, babies play ’round my knee,
Again we know children, my loved one and me.
Dark days are upon me, my wife is now dead.
I look at the future, I shudder with dread.
For my young are all rearing young of their own,
And I think of the years, and the love that I’ve known.
I’m now an old man, and nature is cruel,
It’s jest to make old age look like a fool.
The body, it crumbles, grace and vigor depart,
There is now a stone, where once I had a heart.
But inside this old carcass a young man still dwells,
And now and again, my battered heart swells.
I remember the joys, I remember the pain,
And I’m loving and living, life over again.
I think of the years, all too few, gone too fast,
And accept the stark fact that nothing can last.
So open your eyes, people, open and see:
Not a cranky old man,
Look closer, see ME!”
Never assume that the elderly gent next to you doesn’t see things any more. He lives and feels just like you do. In every aging body lives a spirit that wants to remain young, even when that body doesn’t cooperate the way it once did. Remember the words of this old man and whenever you see an elderly person, treat him or her the way they deserve to be treated.
(he got a text from one of his girls.. Sandy… he haven’t talk to her for a while.. so he called and she invited him over the next day asking him if he wants to accompany her to a celebration for her relatives at the Marriott hotel…
He Gladly accepted her invitation… it was surely a welcome distraction right now…
They spoke for a little catching up with each other.. and after he hung up he felt so much better… he was even smiling with the anticipation of a good day tomorrow….that he lost his anger with that girl of his…
He finally settled down and turned in for the night… He drifted off to sleep thinking of sandy remembering how much fun she was in the past and hoping to rehash some of that Funtime come tomorrow..)
~~~~~~••••••••~~~~~~~•••••••~~~~~~
She woke him up with a call .. wanting to know what time is he getting there.. he asked her what time does she expect him..
She let him know they have access to the rooms and the pool all day long.. and he should get there as soon as he can.. and then remind him not to forget his swimming trunks…
She sounds really enthusiastic and anxious to see him.. and he was kinda feeling the same about seeing her too.. it’s been a while since he had…
He got up took a shower … and decided to go over to that hotel and have some needed fun with Sandy..
When he arrived she met him in the lobby..
she ran up to him .. so excited to see him.. and wrapped him a hug..
she felt so good to hold in his arms and she smells deliciously enticing..
They separated and he took her in .. noticing every small detail of her … she was casually dressed in a jeans and a nice summer top.. which was revealing a little cleavage.. which caused him to lick his lips desirously.. reflecting with images of her naked boobs…
He smiles as she grab his hands and said eagerly..
“Come on …come say hi to my family that’s here..”
He follows her as she leads him on.. he kept a smile as she introduced him to everyone.. trying to keep his mind focus on what’s she’s saying… instead of drifting off thinking of how her boobs bounced with each move she makes.. or how her curvy hips and her round ass sways so sensually as she moves from relatives to relatives..
Her sisters gave him that look of … yesss we know what’s on your mind..”
He felt himself blushing and smiling sheepishly knowing they are reading his mind right now…
As she mingled with everyone.. he took the time to reflect on their past and as he look at her smiling and seeing just how gorgeous she is as she gracefully and effortlessly flitters around the room ….he tries to figure out why he didn’t pursue her and why he had lost connection with her..
She’s a really beautiful and sensually sexual girl.. and she exudes this strong sexual energy ..
He somehow couldn’t quite remember what exactly was the reason for not keeping her closer..
But…
She is here now… and he’s definitely going to make use of this opportunity..
she must like him some to have invited him to this very intimate gathering of families and even taking pride in introducing him to everyone…
She then suggested that she’d like to show him the rooms they booked for the night… and even told him that she saved one just for him..
He was gamed.. as they excuse themselves and took the elevators up.. he started to get all excited and he felt the tightening of his pants as he subconsciously tried to adjust it…
She noticed his fidgeting and turned to witness his actions.. he quickly removed his hands and she giggles a little.. telling him she knows exactly what was happening..
She stepped a little closer to him.. brushing her hips next to his thighs.. and it sent a electrifying emotional shock through his whole body.. and as if she senses his reaction she turned her face to look at him with a very mischievous smile…
They came to their floor… and as they elevator stop….she took his hand in hers and led the way. ..
he noticed her palms was a little sweaty… and he smile ..
She wants him too…
She opened the door to one of the rooms and they entered…it was really a beautiful setting.. the curtains match the bed spread and it was delicate fresh scent present…
He was feeling a little warm so he walked over to adjust the room temperature …
He sat on the bed with his back to the headboard.. she climbed on too .. on her tummy facing him…
They converse trying to catch up on each other life..
It started to cool down … and he politely asked her if she mind if he gets a bit comfortable…
She shook her head that she don’t and told him..
” please do…”
He got up take off his shoes and his shirt…
He got back in smile at her as she lay there gazing up on him… he reached over to remove a stray strand of hair from her face…. telling her that he had missed her and asked softly….
” What happens to cause them to drift apart???….”
She just shrugs her shoulders in response….
He continued to tell her how beautiful she was looking and how good it is to be there with her… he thank her for inviting him and including him in her festivities….as he gently stroke her face …. tracing the outline with his fingers….
She leans into his hand pressing her cheeks against his fingers.. she close her eyes and softly rub her cheek against his fingers like a kitty would…
He could sense her desire for him.. so he placed his forefinger beneath her chin …. heisting her parted lips as he leaned in to kiss her…
She closed her eyes again…and her lips tremble with anticipation… he lightly brushed his lips against hers…and she sucks in her breath in anticipation inhaling his scent.. as she eagerly strain her neck towards him to receive his kiss.. but he stopped. Pulled away… looking at her mouth , and smiling mischievously…as she subconsciously licked her lips where he has touched with his…
She opened her eyes..looking at him.. revealing a hot fiery passion … burning with fierce desire…
With one swift move..She reached for him.. pulling him towards her and fiercely kiss him .. Deeply and sensually.. .that causes a jolt of electricity to run through him straight to his groin…He rolled on her back pressing closely into her with a intensely urgent desire….
She could feel his excitement as he pressed into her.. and he could sense her reciprocal excitement from her racing heart beat and from her shallow breathing…
Her hands was busily exploring his back and his buttocks as she urged him in even closer…
He eased up.. and look at her… and he saw the only answer he needed in her face and eyes..”
He begins to undress her as she intermittently covers his bare chest with kisses.. when he reaches for her pants .. she automatically lifted her hips for easy removal..
he fumbles with her bra but got it and released her voluptuous bouncing boobs’…they were so much more beautiful than he recalled…
his excitement only grows with the sight and he kiss her as he fondled her breasts .. he placed trails of kisses on her neck moving towards those hard nipples…as he enjoyed the scent of her as it fills his nostrils.. She was intoxicatingly delicious..
He felt her heisting her hips and her legs slightly opening.. he knew she was as ready as he was..
she reached for his pants and with some urgency she tries to release his rock hard dick..
He got up with a quick move and discard the obstacle..and she gasp at the sight of him .. she touched him and stroke him slowly and ever so gently as she guided him to her soaking wettt.. pulsating kitty…. easing into position to receive him…
She felt so so good.. as he slowly enter her.. resisting the urge to plunge deep and hard.. he had been aching and craving for the feel of her…
She made a sensual groan of pleasure as she started to move with him..
she was grabbing his ass begging him to ..
” fuck me baby .. fuck me.. ”
As she urged him to go faster.. she was convulsing around his hard dick.. making him knew she was cumin..
it makes him lose control and he felt himself ready to spill his load .. I’m cumin baby.. he told her.. she just bit her lower lips .. nodding.. her face full of pure pleasure..
as he made the last thrust before he release it all.. he felt her hold on to him and arch her back and said….
He could feel her kitty going wild gripping and clenching onto his dick as he emptied into her…
It is a divine ecstasy and he was feeling so blissfully satisfied…
He slowly pumped into her a couple more times enjoy the feeling of her convulsions..
she was shaking a little.. breathing as heavily as he was.. as cum spill out seeping down her legs..
They just lie there for a minute or two savoring the moment..
he then kiss her tenderly and whispered a thank you..
She smiles at him and hug him close to her.. nestling her face into his neck.. in response…
He rolled off her and got up and headed to the shower.. she decided to join him.. they finished .. get ready.. and headed downstairs to grab something to eat..
They walked hugging each other to the elevator..nothing was said..on the way down.. but the smiles and the silence speaks volumes..
On reaching the dining Area… they realize they were too late for brunch.. They will have to wait for the next meal time…
They took a walk to the pool area.. was a little warm. So they went back inside.. wander about some more.. nothing much was taking place.. everyone was just sitting around enjoying each other company. Chitchatting And relaxing ..
So they headed back upstairs to lounge around and enjoy each other company without interference…
They got in the room.. and went straight into the bed.. she hugged him and they rolled around a little .. giggling and teasing tantalizing each other.. until they both give in a another round of exhilarating love making… he felt so invigorate and totally sated… he was a little surprised just how much he was enjoying this luscious and vibrant woman..
They lie in each other arms just too exhausted.. too comfortable… and much to relaxed to move..
they chitchat a little.. enjoying the feel of each other body and the warmth it creates… they both drift off to sleep.. and he woke up to see her facing him just looking at him intently .. she smiles at him and brush her lips against his and then kiss his cheek.. and said ..
“I’m kinda hungry.. let’s go try again.”
He smiles back and nodded in response… and got up and headed to the shower.. he stopped at the The door.. turned and ask her …
“Are you coming???!!!” ….
She smiles and jumps up eagerly .. and join him.. she followed him in and they both got in the shower..
He teasingly splash her with cold water and see screams and laughing out loudly..
she was curled up against the wall trying to dodge the water… and he started laughing with her.. he then pulled her to him .. hugging her.. pressing her voluptuous breast to his chest..
he started to kiss her as the warm shower fell on them..
she was very responsive to his kiss and started to make little pleasure moaning sounds as she tried to press even closer into him pushing him against the wall… she felt him responding to her as his kisses set her flame of desire ablaze… igniting and heightening all her senses…
he lifted her legs to his hips and they again enjoy each other bodies..
she cum with such a intense force that left her shaking and jerking uncontrollably… calling out his name and begging him not to stop..
This send him over the top making him spurt his load filling her …
They finally finish their shower and got ready and once again headed downstairs to fill their appetite ..
they were famished … for food.. they have built up quite an appetite… but was fully satisfied sexually…
He was so glad he accepted her invitation to spend the day with her.. ….
They again mingled with the crowd.. and he got the chance again to be introduced those members that he didn’t before..
Her sisters were again were looking at them knowingly… and she seems to have boastingly confess their sexual encounters to them… because they turn to him and said..
” Be careful what you guys are doing up in that room.. no baby making now..”
One of them wink at him… and give him that sheepishly smile…
He blushed a little.. looked at sandy… lean in kiss her on the cheek.. whispering…
” you didn’t..???!!!” Then asking her if she wanted a drink…
She giggles and smiles at him.. throwing her backwards and up in a delightful manner.. he couldn’t But noticed just how beautiful she really is.. and he felt an emotional rush runs through him… he experienced a slight tremor..
she saw his reaction.. squeeze his hand.. reassuringly and answered him that that she would like that drink…
As he walked away he smiles reflecting on their love making sessions… he truly enjoyed her today…to him it was all just a casual day having some fun..
But…
He couldn’t help but wonder if to her it was something more????!!!!
He got back with the drinks .. stood there silently… watching her interact with everyone… observing how delightfully happy she seems… she was glowing radiantly … beaming with smiles.. as she occasionally flashes a bright smile his way….
After a while he told her he was feeling a bit tired and was going to go back up and sneak in a nap….
He woke up much later than he intended. .. saw her curled up next to him fully dressed.. her back was to him.. so he just pulled up to as gently as he could not wanting to awake her.. he pulled her to him in a spooning position.. throw his arm around her waist.. buried his nose in her hair sniffing and taking in her sweet scent.. and then nuzzled his cheek against her head..
He lay there.. enjoying the warmth of her body.. listening to her even breaths…. and feeling so good to just lie there with her in his arms…
He drifted off to sleep very relaxed and content.. no other place he’d rather be…..
You know. . . time has a way of moving quickly and catching you unaware of the passing years.
It seems just yesterday that I was young, and embarking on my new life. Yet in a way, it seems like eons ago, and I wonder where all the years went. I know that I lived them all. I have glimpses of how it was back then and of all my hopes and dreams. But, here it is… the winter of my life and it catches me by surprise… How did I get here so fast? Where did the years go and where did my youth go?
I remember well seeing older people through the years and thinking that those older people were years away from me and that winter was so far off that I could not fathom it or imagine fully what it would be like. But, here it is…my friends are retired and getting grey… they move slower and I see an older person now. Some are in better and some in worse shape than me…but, I see the great change… Not like the ones that I remember who were young and vibrant..but, like me, their age is beginning to show and we are now those older folks that we used to see and never thought we’d be.
Each day now, I find that just getting a shower is a real target for the day! And taking a nap is not a treat anymore… it’s mandatory!
Cause if I don’t on my own free will… I just fall asleep where I sit!
And so…now I enter into this new season of my life unprepared for all the aches and pains and the loss of strength and ability to go and do things that I wish I had done but never did!
But, at least I know, that though the winter has come, and I’m not sure how long it will last… this I know, that when it’s over on this earth…it’s NOT over. A new adventure will begin!
Yes, I have regrets. There are things I wish I hadn’t done…things I should have done, but indeed, there are many things I’m happy to have
done. It’s all in a lifetime.
So, if you’re not in your winter yet…let me remind you, that it will be here faster than you think. So, whatever you would like to accomplish in your life please do it timely! Don’t put things off too long!
Life goes by quickly. So, do what you can today, as you can never be sure whether this is your winter or not! You have no promise that you will see all the seasons of your life…so, live for today and say all the things that you want your loved ones to remember…and hope that
they appreciate and love you for all the things that you have done for them in all the years past!
“Life” is a gift to you. The way you live your life is your gift to those who come after. Make it a fantastic one.
LIVE IT WELL! ENJOY TODAY! DO SOMETHING FUN! BE HAPPY! HAVE A GREAT DAY!
REMEMBER:….
“It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.
LASTLY, CONSIDER THE FOLLOWING:
TODAY IS THE OLDEST YOU’VE EVER BEEN, YET THE YOUNGEST YOU’LL EVER BE, SO – ENJOY THIS DAY WHILE IT LASTS.
~Your kids are becoming you……
~Going out is good. Coming home is better!
~You forget names… But it’s OK because other people forgot they even knew you!!!
~You realize you’re never going to be really good at anything…. especially golf.
~The things you used to care to do, you no longer care to do, but you really do care that you don’t care to do them anymore.
~You sleep better on a lounge chair with the TV blaring than in bed.
It’s called “pre-sleep”.
~You miss the days when everything worked with just an “ON” and “OFF” switch..
~You tend to use more 4 letter words … “what?”…”when?”… “what?” “where?”
~Now that you can afford expensive jewelry – it’s not safe to wear it anywhere.
~You notice everything they sell in stores is “sleeveless!?”
~What used to be freckles are now liver spots.
~Everybody whispers.
~You have 3 sizes of clothes in your closet…. 2 of which you will never wear.
~But Old is good in some things: Old Songs, Old movies, and best of all,
OLD FRIENDS!!
It’s Not What You Gather, But What You Scatter That Tells What Kind of winter yours is or is going to be. Enjoy life b4 winter or enjoy the winter. Wherever u may be, my friend I wish you Gods blessings.. for a warm and cozy winter…
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