MY EMOTIONAL AFFAIR…AN ABRUPT ENDING…

LOVE 💕 IS SWEET

How do you calm your heart when the source of your love decided to replace you.. and walk away…

How do you stop all this emotions from overflowing and drain you of all your joy…

What measures can you take to prevent you from getting a panic attack with the thought that there will never be another him and you…

How do you come to terms with it.. how do you stop the tears… how do you just get over seven long years… of memories….

How do you close your mind.. close your heart…

How do you block all that you have shared…

I need to run away.. but there is no where to run… I need to lock myself away..from the whole world… but I can’t find nowhere to hide….

I tried to be patient.. I tried to be understanding..

I tried to be positive…

But so many signs..

His lack of sharing

  • His lack of communication
  • His lack of interest…
  • His lack of acknowledgement…
  • He has become evasive…
  • Always too busy for you….

He only talks about hisself… he ignores anything you say to him.. his response is slow… and contain one word….

You can feel you no longer hold any joy for him… he makes you feel like a nuisance…

I guess after seven years of distance.. you become boring… and he yearn for someone more exciting.. more fun.. more appealing.. more interesting…

And you have to admit that this make believe world of fantasy could not last forever…

And you have to gracefully bow out and Continued to live your life in dreams of yesterday’… when love was so good… when the world was a happy place…

And you just hang on to those happy times.. and through the tears.. we smile as we reminisce.. and remember.. we had it all. For just a moment…

SHATTERED HEART !!!

Seven years of blissful memories.. when we share our world…so much that they become intertwined… and to untangle it now is going to be hard…

Letting go will be hard.. and getting used to not having him as part of my daily life..going to be a big challenge … but all good things must come to an end …

THE END….

MY LOVE 😍 LOVE 💕: THE JOY & PAIN OF A FORBIDDEN LOVE: part 7

A STORY OF PLAYING THE COUGAR WITH A VERY UNEXPECTED TURN… ##########################################

I WILL LOVE YOU 😍 ALWAYS…..

I went through the next few weeks like a zombie. Missing MYLOVE-LOVE. Work hold no appeal and no joy for me anymore… my days were empty..I didn’t realize until then just how much him being there daily hugely impacted my attitude…

There was no sunshine … everything seems dim… I went though my emotions quietly… I would be in a daze sometimes looking off in space visualizing him being there.. reflecting on the last months .. remembering how my eyes could find him anywhere he was.. and how my heart would flutter at the sight of him… putting a bright smile on my face which leaves me gleaming with joy…

These last weeks has been long as I suffer in silence… he was a main subject of conversation.. everyone has something to say about him .. I would mostly just listen… I found out that he has been talking to Veronica.. she even boastingly said that she was the first person he called.. he seems to have spoken to everyone else too….

I was so crushed to know that he didn’t value me enough to even answer my text messages .. he doesn’t even acknowledge me… and I question this…why have he shut me out..??? Why am I Not important enough to him????.. Why was it ok to talk to everyone else and not me? After all the times we spent together and the intimate moments we shared.. I thought we were close enough fo me to deserve some acknowledgement….I thought we were at least friends…

It hurts to be ignored…

I received a small text from the second week… “what’s up stranger???!!”.. ..

I was so delighted to see that text from him.. I sent him a reply asking him if he’s okay.. and inquire what’s been going on with him… but to my great disappointment he never continued the conversation…

I started to come with terms that I’m never going to see him again… I was still missing him something awful… and although I felt I wasn’t ready to let him go.. I decided to accept my fate…. it saddens me to know that I meant zero to him.. and all those nights spent together in the most intimate ways….meant absolutely nothing…

His oldest daughter had an up coming birthday and I had purchased some little Knicknacks for her… I thought … I still would love to get them to her…

I tried to contact him to let him know and asked him via text messages… to come and get them… he did not respond immediately but I got a text from him later on …letting me know that he wants them and he will come to pick them up…

He never did..

A couple days later, I tried to call him to find out when is he coming to get the gifts.. . As much as I wanted to talk to him… I had lost interest because of his cold behavior… he answered.. then hung up suddenly… I couldn’t believe he did that.. I told myself…

“ that’s it.. I’m done.. with him …”

He was so cold and so mean and I was so hurt thinking I didn’t mean much to him for him to ignore me and refuses to talk to me.. He tries to call me later that day, I did not answer… I was still upset with him hanging up on me.. And then he sent me a text that…

Letting me know that his phone died.. and that was the reason the phone call ended.. I did not believe his lame excuse… so I did not respond to him…

I decided to give up trying to contact him… seeing that he obviously not interested to hear from me… I decided to get in touch with one of his buddies to ask to be an intermediary and get the gifts to him..

This friend… David came.. collect the gifts I had and promised to pass it on to him…. I went ahead to send him a text… informing him that I gave the gifts to David and he should collect them…

He answered me to let me know that him and David were no longer friends… oops… David did not disclose this information to me… I apologized.. and I called David to return the items… I just thought his daughter won’t get her birthday presents in this case..

A few days later MYLOVELOVE Calls me … I was a little surprised to hear from him…I answered .. he started off the conversation asking me why I didn’t just gave the gifts to Veronica.. I became very belligerent . I was very upset that he even considered this possibility…

I just tell him that .. not to worry about the damn gifts.. and him and Veronica can go to hell and hang up on him…. I was so mad.. what was he thinking…!??? I was hurt too to know that he’s still seeing her…and he couldn’t even talk to me on the phone….

Shouldn’t he know how I feel for him? Was he so blind to my feelings…. I was so hurt and so upset That day it brought tears to my eyes… .

I was thinking, how could I mean so little to him, Even though we could not be in a true relationship…I thought at the least we were friends.. How wrong I was to even think this was possible..

my emotions for him was still very strong and way more than I would care to admit… I decided not to text or call anymore and to just Leave him, be…. . I’m still missing him but it doesn’t make sense wanting someone who doesn’t return your feeling… so I will try to put him out of my mind and heart…

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TO BE CONTINUED…

MY LOVE LOVE: THE JOY & PAIN OF A FORBIDDEN LOVE…. part 5b

……,And so I got one more time to spend with MYLOVE-LOVE {. I COULDN’T BELEIVE MY LUCK}

As I stand there waiting for him to answer the door my mind was whirling with thoughts of being in his arms…

Finally he opened the door.. and I was so amazed just how gorgeous he looked… he was shirtless and his chiseled chest was so inviting…

He greets me with a kiss on the cheek.. took my hand and led me to the bedroom… he jumped on the bed and patted it beside him signifying suggestively for me to join him…

….he was lying there looking so good and sexy just waiting for me. I obliged eagerly… and I hugged him as I joined him pressing into his chest… stroking it very tenderly as I start to put butterfly kisses all over that gorgeous chest…

He had just taken a bath … he smells so fresh and feels so cool and extra good. I enjoyed the taste of him as I inhaled his scent getting lost in the moment…

he immediately started to kiss me, and his kisses sent warmth to every crevices of my body…he felt so good and smell so delicious, as I continued to love on his most beautiful chest.. moving downward… slowly kissing and loving on his perfect body…..

He was lying there softly moaning with pleasure… as I fumbled with his pants I looked up at his face.. he had his eyes closed and when I stopped and prompted him to lift his hips so I could slide them off he opened them and preceded to help me discard it…

He kicked them off… and resumed his position…

I had bought a vibrating toy for sexual pleasure and I had it with me.. I mentioned it to him…and asked him if we could try it and play with it….surprisingly he was all gamed,

He said “let’s play” I got it out .. showed it to him.. he was very amused and eager to try it… and so the games began..and play we did.

We had some fun playing with our new toy.. and we made love over and over and over until we were both spent from exhaustion… his love making was very intense… tender and loving…

We lay there beside each other… catching our breath and just savoring the moment… he looked at me smile.. quickly jumped up.. tower over me…placed a playful kiss on my mouth , nibbled my neck with small kisses and asked me if I wanted something to drink..

I merely giggled in amusement at him and nodded… he went off to the kitchen as I lay there wondering if he’s starting to like me … I couldn’t get this smile off my face.. I was so exhilarated thinking of the way he just love on me….

He came back in and handed me a glass with drink.. and lie down watching me… I finished my drink…move over next to him .. he had his hand behind his head. And he removed one and pulled me into him…

I just nestled happily up next to him.. he then pulled the cover over us…I wanted to get up and take a shower but I didn’t want to leave the comfort of his warmth…I was enjoying him much too much… and refused to lose this connection .. I just didn’t want it to end…

He then started to talk about his childhood… I quietly listened not saying much.. I just lie there in awe of him.. I must have dozed off and snoring because I was awaken by him holding my nose… I looked up at him… and he just tweaked my nose again.. and said .. “ let’s sleep… “

I responded by turning around and let him spoon me and hold me closely to him.. he placed his cheek on my head.. and I heard him sigh.. ever so pleasingly… I smile and reached for his hand that he had wrapped around me and kissed it as I wrapped it more tightly around me….

I again spent the night next to him and in his arms… I was in glory land. Being with him gives me so much joy. I get a surge of happiness I never before experience.

The more times I spent with him the more I feel for him.. and the more I want him.. and I hoped it means that he was liking me some.

We woke up and made love a couple of times before we both got up and took a needed shower….

I left him that morning very happy and fulfilled… I was on cloud nine… but still wondered if I will ever get another chance to be with him… I always left wondering because we never talked about us…

All night with him.. all that loving.. and the subject of us .. was never mentioned… I am so afraid of the answer that I rather not know…and I keep telling myself I’m just going to enjoy him as much as he allows me..

I keep smiling all that day and keep reflecting back to our night of playtime and sweet loving… couldn’t believe he was so willing to try that little toy….I was so pleased he was so gamed… it was fun.. I fully enjoyed him….

I told myself that I have to work on our next rendezvous… because I was so eager to spend another night in his sweet arms.. and experience some more of his passionate loving…..

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TO BE CONTINUED….

Through The Eyes Of An Old Man:

This poem was written by an old who died in a nursing home…

After he died;

Amongst the patients belongings, memories of an entire life, they ( the nurses)found this poem:

SEE ME:

What do you see nurses? What do you see?

What are you thinking, when you look at me?

A cranky old man, not very wise,

Uncertain of habit, with faraway eyes?

Who dribbles his food and makes no reply.

When you say in a loud voice, “I do wish you’d try!”

Who seems not to notice, the things that you do.

And forever is losing… a sock or a shoe?

Who, resisting or not lets you do as you will,

With bathing and feeding, the long day to fill?

Is that what you’re thinking? Is that what you see?

Then open you eyes, nurse. You’re not looking at me.

I’ll tell you who I am, as I sit here so still,

As I do at your bidding, as I eat at your will.

I’m a small child of ten, with a father and mother,

Brothers and sisters, who love one another.

A young boy of sixteen, with wings on his feet

Dreaming that soon now, a lover he’ll meet.

A groom soon at twenty, my heart gives a leap,

Remembering the vows, that I promised to keep.

At twenty-five, now I have young of my own,

Who need me to guide, and a secure happy home.

A man of thirty, my young now grown fast,

Bound to each other, with ties that should last.

At forty, my young sons have grown and are gone,

But my woman is beside me, to see that I don’t mourn.

At fifty once more, babies play ’round my knee,

Again we know children, my loved one and me.

Dark days are upon me, my wife is now dead.

I look at the future, I shudder with dread.

For my young are all rearing young of their own,

And I think of the years, and the love that I’ve known.

I’m now an old man, and nature is cruel,

It’s jest to make old age look like a fool.

The body, it crumbles, grace and vigor depart,

There is now a stone, where once I had a heart.

But inside this old carcass a young man still dwells,

And now and again, my battered heart swells.

I remember the joys, I remember the pain,

And I’m loving and living, life over again.

I think of the years, all too few, gone too fast,

And accept the stark fact that nothing can last.

So open your eyes, people, open and see:

Not a cranky old man,

Look closer, see ME!”

Never assume that the elderly gent next to you doesn’t see things any more. He lives and feels just like you do. In every aging body lives a spirit that wants to remain young, even when that body doesn’t cooperate the way it once did. Remember the words of this old man and whenever you see an elderly person, treat him or her the way they deserve to be treated.

SUMMER VISITORS…

So I had five relatives with me for one month…

I was looking forward to having them..but was worried that I might be anxious to get back my space…

But…

As it turns out. I really did enjoy the company much more than I had anticipated I would… and when they left I really was sad to see them go…

It’s funny how invaded you feel when you have people crowding your space…

You get so used to be by yourself doing everything on your own time.. that anything that upsets that mode gets annoying… and I was thinking how am I going to last the month…

So I was truly surprised when I didn’t feel that emotion taking over as the weeks went by…

I guess I was lonelier I thought…so having company was a welcome change…

Yes.. I had to get up each day and be a hostess..

Spend a little more than normal to keep everyone happy… but I found great pleasure in it…

I really surprised myself with these pleasurable emotions I got from entertaining them…

It was a really hot summer..and I didn’t have central air conditioner but everyone was comfortable… and even though we couldn’t afford to go places with our budgets..

We truly enjoy connecting and sharing and enjoying each other company..

My granddaughter really enjoyed my little niece…

Look how happy 😃 she is.. she thought she was big girl..only one year old.. and doing things like a three year old little girl…

My grandson he enjoyed her company too… I took them to chucky cheese… to play games and eat pizza ..

And did they have fun…!!! it was a blast to watch them fully enjoying themselves..

He’s a shy boy.. but she brings out his boldness…

He would never have taken that picture with chucky if she was not there to give him the courage he needs…

So we all had a fun summer.. which went by much too fast…and the house seems so empty without their presence…

We miss them so…

hopefully we will get them again next summer….

A MESSY LOVE 💕 STORY… NEW BEGINNINGS… part 2

On reaching the dining Area… they realize they were too late for brunch.. They will have to wait for the next meal time…

They took a walk to the pool area.. was a little warm. So they went back inside.. wander about some more.. nothing much was taking place.. everyone was just sitting around enjoying each other company. Chitchatting And relaxing ..

So they headed back upstairs to lounge around and enjoy each other company without interference…

They got in the room.. and went straight into the bed.. she hugged him and they rolled around a little .. giggling and teasing tantalizing each other.. until they both give in a another round of exhilarating love making… he felt so invigorate and totally sated… he was a little surprised just how much he was enjoying this luscious and vibrant woman..

They lie in each other arms just too exhausted.. too comfortable… and much to relaxed to move..

they chitchat a little.. enjoying the feel of each other body and the warmth it creates… they both drift off to sleep.. and he woke up to see her facing him just looking at him intently .. she smiles at him and brush her lips against his and then kiss his cheek.. and said ..

“I’m kinda hungry.. let’s go try again.”

He smiles back and nodded in response… and got up and headed to the shower.. he stopped at the The door.. turned and ask her …

“Are you coming???!!!” ….

She smiles and jumps up eagerly .. and join him.. she followed him in and they both got in the shower..

He teasingly splash her with cold water and see screams and laughing out loudly..

she was curled up against the wall trying to dodge the water… and he started laughing with her.. he then pulled her to him .. hugging her.. pressing her voluptuous breast to his chest..

he started to kiss her as the warm shower fell on them..

she was very responsive to his kiss and started to make little pleasure moaning sounds as she tried to press even closer into him pushing him against the wall… she felt him responding to her as his kisses set her flame of desire ablaze… igniting and heightening all her senses…

he lifted her legs to his hips and they again enjoy each other bodies..

she cum with such a intense force that left her shaking and jerking uncontrollably… calling out his name and begging him not to stop..

This send him over the top making him spurt his load filling her …

They finally finish their shower and got ready and once again headed downstairs to fill their appetite ..

they were famished … for food.. they have built up quite an appetite… but was fully satisfied sexually…

He was so glad he accepted her invitation to spend the day with her.. ….

They again mingled with the crowd.. and he got the chance again to be introduced those members that he didn’t before..

Her sisters were again were looking at them knowingly… and she seems to have boastingly confess their sexual encounters to them… because they turn to him and said..

” Be careful what you guys are doing up in that room.. no baby making now..”

One of them wink at him… and give him that sheepishly smile…

He blushed a little.. looked at sandy… lean in kiss her on the cheek.. whispering…

” you didn’t..???!!!” Then asking her if she wanted a drink…

She giggles and smiles at him.. throwing her backwards and up in a delightful manner.. he couldn’t But noticed just how beautiful she really is.. and he felt an emotional rush runs through him… he experienced a slight tremor..

she saw his reaction.. squeeze his hand.. reassuringly and answered him that that she would like that drink…

As he walked away he smiles reflecting on their love making sessions… he truly enjoyed her today…to him it was all just a casual day having some fun..

But…

He couldn’t help but wonder if to her it was something more????!!!!

He got back with the drinks .. stood there silently… watching her interact with everyone… observing how delightfully happy she seems… she was glowing radiantly … beaming with smiles.. as she occasionally flashes a bright smile his way….

After a while he told her he was feeling a bit tired and was going to go back up and sneak in a nap….

He woke up much later than he intended. .. saw her curled up next to him fully dressed.. her back was to him.. so he just pulled up to as gently as he could not wanting to awake her.. he pulled her to him in a spooning position.. throw his arm around her waist.. buried his nose in her hair sniffing and taking in her sweet scent.. and then nuzzled his cheek against her head..

He lay there.. enjoying the warmth of her body.. listening to her even breaths…. and feeling so good to just lie there with her in his arms…

He drifted off to sleep very relaxed and content.. no other place he’d rather be…..

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TO BE CONTINUED….

THE WINTER OF MY LIFE….

WINTER….

You know. . . time has a way of moving quickly and catching you unaware of the passing years.

It seems just yesterday that I was young, and embarking on my new life. Yet in a way, it seems like eons ago, and I wonder where all the years went. I know that I lived them all. I have glimpses of how it was back then and of all my hopes and dreams. But, here it is… the winter of my life and it catches me by surprise… How did I get here so fast? Where did the years go and where did my youth go?

I remember well seeing older people through the years and thinking that those older people were years away from me and that winter was so far off that I could not fathom it or imagine fully what it would be like. But, here it is…my friends are retired and getting grey… they move slower and I see an older person now. Some are in better and some in worse shape than me…but, I see the great change… Not like the ones that I remember who were young and vibrant..but, like me, their age is beginning to show and we are now those older folks that we used to see and never thought we’d be.

Each day now, I find that just getting a shower is a real target for the day! And taking a nap is not a treat anymore… it’s mandatory!

Cause if I don’t on my own free will… I just fall asleep where I sit!

And so…now I enter into this new season of my life unprepared for all the aches and pains and the loss of strength and ability to go and do things that I wish I had done but never did!

But, at least I know, that though the winter has come, and I’m not sure how long it will last… this I know, that when it’s over on this earth…it’s NOT over. A new adventure will begin!

Yes, I have regrets. There are things I wish I hadn’t done…things I should have done, but indeed, there are many things I’m happy to have

done. It’s all in a lifetime.

So, if you’re not in your winter yet…let me remind you, that it will be here faster than you think. So, whatever you would like to accomplish in your life please do it timely! Don’t put things off too long!

Life goes by quickly. So, do what you can today, as you can never be sure whether this is your winter or not! You have no promise that you will see all the seasons of your life…so, live for today and say all the things that you want your loved ones to remember…and hope that

they appreciate and love you for all the things that you have done for them in all the years past!

“Life” is a gift to you. The way you live your life is your gift to those who come after. Make it a fantastic one.

LIVE IT WELL! ENJOY TODAY! DO SOMETHING FUN! BE HAPPY! HAVE A GREAT DAY!

REMEMBER:….

“It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.

LASTLY, CONSIDER THE FOLLOWING:

TODAY IS THE OLDEST YOU’VE EVER BEEN, YET THE YOUNGEST YOU’LL EVER BE, SO – ENJOY THIS DAY WHILE IT LASTS.

~Your kids are becoming you……

~Going out is good. Coming home is better!

~You forget names… But it’s OK because other people forgot they even knew you!!!

~You realize you’re never going to be really good at anything…. especially golf.

~The things you used to care to do, you no longer care to do, but you really do care that you don’t care to do them anymore.

~You sleep better on a lounge chair with the TV blaring than in bed.

It’s called “pre-sleep”.

~You miss the days when everything worked with just an “ON” and “OFF” switch..

~You tend to use more 4 letter words … “what?”…”when?”… “what?” “where?”

~Now that you can afford expensive jewelry – it’s not safe to wear it anywhere.

~You notice everything they sell in stores is “sleeveless!?”

~What used to be freckles are now liver spots.

~Everybody whispers.

~You have 3 sizes of clothes in your closet…. 2 of which you will never wear.

~But Old is good in some things: Old Songs, Old movies, and best of all,

OLD FRIENDS!!

It’s Not What You Gather, But What You Scatter That Tells What Kind of winter yours is or is going to be. Enjoy life b4 winter or enjoy the winter. Wherever u may be, my friend I wish you Gods blessings.. for a warm and cozy winter…

A MESSY LOVE 💕 STORY: part 10

…. Things went well with them that first week.. communication was light and sweet..

She was really loving and smiling and and so enthusiastic about him… he was enjoying her sweet airy disposition… and was feeling drawn to her again.. he was getting his intense feelings back …

He had a busy week and hadn’t gotten chance to go see her… but not a day go by without some connection via texting or voice call…

Then a little past the first week.. and she brings him to a halt… with a text.. claiming she had a dream about being pregnant… and she’s been having strong symptoms of being pregnant..

oooh my goodness.. not this again… and then he reflected back to that most passionate night.. and just realize that he didn’t actually used the condom that he was prepared with…

Bad move…

He had all intentions of protecting hisself from this episode and drama…but as he remembers it … in the heat of the moment… condom was nowhere in his thoughts.. now he is going to suffer the consequences …

The possibility of her being pregnant is very high.. and he now fears that .. that passionate exhilarating night is going to be marred with her being pregnant ..

Of course he suggested him getting a pregnancy test and have her take it.. but she refuses .. stating, she wants to wait a couple more weeks to be sure..

He was so annoyed.. and really curious and anxious to know if she really was..but he had no choice but to wait on her..

He went through his emotions and he tried to play it out in every scenario he could think of..,

He thought he would ask her to move in with him. Because he couldn’t actually see his baby grown up that messy house…

He mentioned this to her.. and she blatantly rejected his suggestion.. oops !!! He was sure she would have agreed with his suggestion…

Yet she keeps on hinting about a permanent relationship.. and went as far as mentioned marriage..

Oooh nooo…!!!!!

Marriage is not an option in his book…He would definitely be a part of the child life.. but he has no intention of getting married.. and he didn’t think she was marriage material anyways…

He loves her.. and care a lot about her..

But…

After knowing her and seeing how she lives and with all her complications.. he can only take her in small doses…

Anything permanent would mean she has to make a drastic change.. and he couldn’t see her changing…

And for her constant complaints of illness.. he just knew he couldn’t deal with that long term…

But..

He is now faced with her possibility of being conceived with his baby.. and he may have to make a decision against his liking…

He went out to see her that weekend and surprisingly.. she was beeming and very cheerful..

This attitude of hers .. makes him a little more convinced that she is pregnant…

He took her to Walmart.. on their way .. she was talking going on about her symptoms and acting as if it was a sure thing.. While in Walmart she headed over to the baby section and she was rambling on about the baby this.. the baby that..

As he watched her bouncing about excitedly… he thought in silence..

What have I done???!!!!

Her behavior and attitude was slowly convincing him more and more that she was..

And..

He recalled… that this is a repeat of the last time she thought she was pregnant for him..

He again suggested that they get a test while at Walmart.. but again.. she wanted to wait…

What is her problem..?? Why wait??

This was causing him great anxiety attacks and he just wants to be sure before he makes any definite plans..

It’s been almost a month now and he was tired of waiting…

He was not pleased with her answer.. but nothing he can do about it…

He drove her back home without saying another word..

He dropped her off and headed back to his house…

He was annoyed.. and getting frustrated.. and couldn’t wait to find out for sure..

He was more than half way convinced… but .. just want to be 100% sure…

He was tempted to buy the test and drive over there and demanded that she takes it right there right now…

He was thinking.. it would be so nice to be a father.. and he was becoming very emotional with his thoughts…and he secretly hoped she really is.. he find himself becoming a little excited at the prospect of having a baby of his own…

And although he wasn’t too pleased with his choice of the mother of his child .. he knew he had to make it work… He will find a way to…

They had conversations via text.. and he keeps trying to push her for taking a test or going to the doctor..

She always have an excuse not to…

He was battling with his emotions and had a couple solid scenarios that would fall in place with her positive result..

He woke up one morning…. and let out a squeal of delight after reading a text from her that she had her menstruation…

He felt a slight disappointment afterwards and a little guilty about his initial reaction… He realizes that he was hoping for her to be pregnant.. and was actually looking forward to being a dad..

So he text her in reply.. and found out that she was so depressed and saddened that she didn’t want to talk..

Of course this always plays on his emotions and he decided to go see her.. hoping to lift her spirits..

when he got there.. he let hisself in..

whewww.. what a mess. ?? He will never get used to this way of keeping House….

He made his way to her bedroom.. he could hardly find her with all that clothes and trash lying around her..

She was sad.. and he could tell she had been crying…

He sat down on the bed beside her.. without saying a word.. lean in and kiss her cheek.. stroke her arm.. and give her a sad look of compassion..

She started to cry again.. and he reached for her and lifted her in a sitting position and wrapped his arms around her in a hug… she sobbed in his shoulder..

He patiently waited for her to calm down..

She started rambling on about how she wanted that baby and how she is never going to have another one…

He just said… Sshhhh!!!! Sshhh..!!!!

You are going to be okay.. he told her trying to console her…

But.. she was becoming hysterical.. so he stop talking.. didn’t know exactly what to say to her…

He didn’t like to see her like that .. but he was actually relieved that she was not pregnant.. he keeps looking around him.. and was so thankful that his baby won’t have to be born and live in this condition..

All of a sudden he was itching to get out of that house…he felt stifled.. so He asked her if she wanted to go for a ride to get some icecream..

She nodded yes .. called her daughter. Tell her to get ready to go for ice cream…

He told her he’ll be outside waiting.. and he hurriedly makes his exit..

Its so strange that he’s finding the messy house a little repulsive.. but this is where he’s at with the house situation..

They join him ten minutes later and he took them to eat that ice cream…,

She wasn’t very talkative .. but she seems to enjoy her treat…

They spent a little time eating and then they ride around some.. she seems in a better mood… so he inquired how she’s feeling…

She gave a half smile and said ok.. but continued to tell him how disappointed she was..

He simply agreed.. with… “I know baby I know..”

He took them home.. bid her goodnight and she thank him for coming by and for the ice cream…

On his drive back home he started to think this relationship is not healthy for him… he realizes that he’s finding it really hard to go in that house of recent without being able to ignore all the filth…

And..

Although he likes her and really enjoy her sexually.. he just can’t deal with her obsession of wanting to be pregnant… and every time they have sex she swears she is pregnant and then going into a depressive mode when she’s not..

it happens once too often.. he sees a red flag.. he knows he has to back off and slowly walk away… but how’s he going to do that…

She has too much going on with her that’s becoming a little unbearable and annoying and he just can’t see a long term , steady relationship with her …

As much as he likes her… it in his best interest to find a way out of it….. he keeps arguing with himself….

He dose off that night with mixed feelings but knowing that it’s a choice he needs to make…

Maybe he can remain friends with her.. he will figure it out..

He drifted to sleep with a very disturbed and confused mind….

************^^^*********^^^^+******

TO BE CONTINUED…..

MY FLIGHT DATE: Cedar Cove…

CEDAR COVE…..

Taken by ALLEN.. while flying over..


As we fly over he was talking to me.. but I was in awe of the little island in sight 🌴.. so full of excitement.. couldn’t wait to get down there.. 
The engine of the plane ✈️ drowns out his voice.. I look over at him…I’m smiling so widely..he looked over at me.. smile. Chuckles a little in amusement to my look of excitement.. As he starts to to dive downward for landing .. I gave out a little scream … in eager anticipation…  he laughs out loudly.. holding his head back as he laugh so amused as he watched me.. 

he reached over.. with the back of his palm…placed it on my cheek and gently and lovingly caress it…I unconsciously leaned onto his hand…closed my eyes for a moment.. enjoying his gesture….and felt a surge of the sweetest sensation rushing through me.. 

I turned looking at him and smile shyly …. blushing 😊 . he pulled his hands away as quickly  as he put it there to take hold of the controls for landing…  

I as quickly recover from his touch as we start to hit ground and a new wave of excitement took over.. we’re here.. I  giggled  joyously..

I just couldn’t wait to get out. I was squirming in my seat .. so filled with the excitement of finally having the chance to be here….

He got out… and held my hand as he gently help me out..  another wave of emotional sensation hit me at the touch of his hand.. 

He climbed back in to retrieve a bag and a basket… as I busily take in my new surroundings with a permanent smile… and a surplus of super excitement and elation….

He came back out .. secured the doors.. and started to walk forward.. he beckons me with his head.. as he said.. “come on sweet girl “.. I scurried after him.. 

As I watched him from behind.. his quick strides.. his board shoulders.. his strong legs..I was caught up in a feeling of desires and I was thinking how lucky I was to be here with him.. 

He jerk Me from my thoughts.. as he looked over his shoulders and asked.. “are you coming?”.. 

I ran up to him.. talking a mile an hour … telling just how beautiful everything is.. 

He just smile in agreement with me.. 

And all of a sudden we were on the beach.. he was laying a towel down.. and I walked towards the water.. standing there just taking it all in. Feeling so happy to finally be experiencing this island with him…

I was lost in thoughts.. when I felt his arms encircling my neck .. arms resting just above my breasts…wrapping me in a hug.. as he pulled me to him.. I jumped at his actions but  easily relaxed in comfort of his hug.. I automatically placed my hand on his arms and he reach for my fingers and entwined them between his..

I leaned my head back onto his chest and he rest his cheek against the side of my head.. and he softly whispered..

“Nita…”

“Wendy… it was you I fell in love with..sweet girl…not her picture.. you..” and he hugged me a little tighter..

I was overwhelmed with emotions by his declaration…words I always wanted to hear and believe..

I couldn’t speak…. I felt my throat become tight and constricted with a lump.. my eyes filling with tears .. I blink trying to stop the threat of the tears.. and avoid the spill.. i try to swallow the lump but.. instead I made a sobbing sound.. and I felt the tears rolling down my cheek onto his arm.. I subconsciously reached up to wipe away the running tears….
He held my shoulders.. and turned me around.. I held my head down..not wanting him to see my tears… he put his fingers under my chin.. and urge my head upwards… I opened my tear fill eyes… he used his thumb to wipe away the fallen tears.. as he gently caress my cheek with it…without saying a word.. 

His eyes were so kind.. his  face was tender with emotions..his touch was gentle on my skin.. I looked away and again held my head down.. he reached and cupped my face in both hands pulling my face back upwards..

“Sweet girl…??? Nita????” He said in a very sad but concerning voice..

I was Now sobbing … trying to fight the feelings of crying..and I closed my eyes to avoid his piercing blue eyes and to try to calm my emotions .. 

he still had my face in his hands using his thumb gently running up and down my cheeks .. occasionally brushing away my tears.. as they escape from my eyes..

I could feel his eyes burning through me..  feel the warmth on my face with each breath he took…my heart was thudding loudly against my chest.. my knees were becoming wobble beneath me .. as I melt with the electrifying touch of his hands…

I opened my eyes and tried to smile between the tears…. he smiles back.. his face moves in closer.. and my lips was quivering in anticipation of his lips on mine..

My heart was racing … sending a surge of  adrenaline That fill me up..with raging desires..I tilt my head Back.. and  I automatically tiptoed to meet his kiss… 

I opened my eyes.. ooops!!!!

It was all but a dream…” no.. no.. no..” I close my eyes trying to get back to my dream.. but it was lost..I lay there thinking about the dream I just had.. it was all so real.. 

My heart was still racing.. I was feeling full of desires..  and I was waking up realizing it was all but a dream…

*******************************

We had a very short conversation about Cedar Cove… and I guess my subconscious was still dreaming of that flight date he  had suggested ..

Ever since he mentioned that little romantic island 🌴… I have always wondered  and fantasize what it’d be like to actually fly there for a date… with him..

I know I have lost that one opportunity with him… and that remains one of my biggest regret of all..

I kept hearing those words he said.. keep seeing his face.. feeling his touch.. and so mad that I woke up just before he kiss me…

Just a dream…. !!!

STRANGER THINGS HAVE HAPPEN: A Bitter Sweet Re-connection…

I got my wish…my dream to reconnect with My SWEET ALLEN..

He came back online and when I saw him.. I said hi..

He did not respond immediately and so after a couple of days I tried again.. I wasn’t too sure if it was him or someone new with his old number…but his page became active and I was so curious and hopeful that its him….

He responded .. asking what’s my name…

I told him.. Wendy/ Nita..

He went silent.. so I just comment that it seems like he doesn’t want to talk to me…

He replied with.. he doesn’t think it would be healthy…

I had heard those same words from him before… when I had suggested that he come see me..to let me know the man who stole my heart..

That has convinced me…It was Allen..I smile so pleased that I got a chance to talk to him again..

I have waited so long to see him again.. and here he is…

I tried talking to him.. telling how I was so happy to see him back.

“I have waited two years for you to come back on. ..Please talk to me a little .. I asked of him…

“I won’t get all crazy on you ..” I promised..

“Just this once..

I have always hope you would have come back.. ”

I keep trying to talk.. but he was not responding…

I then told him that I ran our story on my blog and just how much my audience loved it.. and I sent him two of my best recent photos…

Trying to let him see I’m not as gross looking as he thought I was..

And I left him at that…

It felt so good to see him back but obviously he didn’t really care to reconnect with me..

I felt a little disheartening but a little understanding… I promise myself to leave him alone… I stood there so consumed with thoughts of him.. and I keep going back in time remembering our last communications and conversations and how cold he was towards me…

Just how hurt he was that.. that beautiful tall thin girl was not Available to him…and how he hated me for giving him her then taking her away and replacing me as substitute… me… no comparison..  He  just couldn’t get pass my deception and lies..

I sit here again.. after two years…with tears in my eyes… still wanting to be that girl…  knowing I could never be a replacement…

And knowing I gave him her as a visual…

I guess I had better leave it where it’s at..

My wounds are still wet on the inside and very easy to reopen …  my heart may never be mended…

Yes it all come flooding back and I was drowning in self-pity..  regrets of deception and Of losing him…and guilt of being so wrong…

A couple of hours later he responded to me..

“Wow! I think I’d like to read your blog. And thank you for the pictures.”

I smile so huge.. and ask him if he wanted me to send him the links to the episodes..

He replied..”yes please do..”

I was thinking he was just being nice.. but I sent him the first three sequels..

I was hoping he would see how well I had improved on my writing and I wanted his comments..

I waited up to three days anticipating his comments on our story  and the chance of having him connecting and communicating  with me again.. I was hoping our story would be a icebreaker ..

None came.. he seems to just be ignoring me.. so I decided to send him a Text.. to reassure him.. 

“Hey  ..

I’m just here thinking about you.. 

Yesss I still do.. 
I understand your reluctance to connect with me again.. 
and I’m so pleased  that you didn’t block me.. 

Anyways it’s been two years since our time together…
And I have moved beyond it.. I have grown some.. and got a little experience with social media.. 

Tango has been my friend and I have made some really good friends on over the last two years.. 
I waited this long to see you back here.. 
But I won’t be a bother.  

Promise…. “

To my surprise.. he answered….

“You’re super sweet and I’m not worried at all.”

I just replied.. “smiling huge “.

I didn’t think he really wanted to talk to me so I didn’t try to instigate a conversation….

I will just leave him alone … for now…

*******************************************************

I wanted to remain unattached and try not be harassing and give him his space.. after all it’s been two years since our little affair and it ended on a bad note.. and the question of why he is back on, have me reflecting  on how we all met.. he could be just here to browse to find girls to have  a good time..

I find myself thinking about him, and I feel my emotions re surfacing but it comes with doubts.. he hasn’t given me any reasons to believe that he is interested in reconnecting in any way with me…

I decided to just ignore him for a while.. he hasn’t block me so I will wait and see if he reached out to me..

Two weeks passed and of course he didn’t so on valentine’s day I decided to send him a valentine’s greetings and the link to the epilogue of our story which include our only valentine’s we shared..with a little note..

“just want to share he epilogue of our story..and the valentine’s day we shared…still remember you and your words…

“And I still holds you so close to my heart..Thank you so much for loving me and giving me one of the best experience ever…I truly enjoyed every single moment we shared..

LOVE ALWAYS , WENDY/NITA…”

I got nothing back…

Two days after was my birthday so I text him to remind him.. And let him know that I would love to see a birthday wish from him..

And He obliged… I was elated… he text…

Happy Birthday Sweet Girl!! I hope you are happy and healthy and enjoying you day.. Please make sure you take a moment to enjoy something just for you today..”

I responded quite happily,

Smiling huge 😊
Cheesecake and wine 🍷

That’s my treat..
And thank you 😊 so very much for my birthday 🎉 wish..
It’s like divine bliss..
I so appreciate you taking time to stopping by..

it gives me such a thrill..

you still means the world 🌎 to me..
Always.. Wendy/ Nita..

“Have a  great night wendy..” he text back…

It kinda bothers me that he never address me by the nickname he gave me…but I think I was just being petty .

I was so pleased that he took the time to wish me happy  birthday…

********************************************************

STAY TUNE FOR PART TWO…

 

MEMORIES…The Photos of Our Minds….

 

Sitting here feeling so nostalgic… And smiling in reminisce of some of my past experiences and episodes of my life…

No matter how sad and how much agony I felt at the time of the end of these experiences… All the tears shed… All the sorrow felt..

After it’s past…. I realize how very happy I am to have had that experience.. I can close my eyes… And go back and relive every moment it gives me the profound joy I felt…and I can hardly remember the end…

And I smile because I was given the precious gift to have enjoyed that moment in time…

I don’t have regrets of my past events… ( I don’t call them mistakes) … I considered them a valid lesson… I remember and relive them all.. With gratitude… And think of how very happy I was during the good times….

I know we are advised to leave the past behind… I agree to the things that cause anguish.. And pain.. But… The happiest times… Those moments that brings joy.. Laughter… Gives pleasures…is worth taking with you.. It’s worth remembering…

When I experienced times like these I savor every moment.. I create a memory… So I can go back and relive..

I write a short story about that special time… Capturing every little thing that makes it so very special….

  • …..MEMORIES….LIGHT THE CORNERS OF My MIND…MISTY, WATER COLORED MEMORIES…. OF THE WAY WE WERE…
  • SCATTERED PICTURES Of The SMILE WE LEFT BEHIND… SMILE WE GAVE TO ONE ANOTHER OF THE WAY WE WERE…
    MEMORIES,CAN Be BEAUTIFUL AND YET…WHAT TOO PAINFUL TO REMEMBER…. WE SIMPLE CHOOSE TO FORGET… So is the LAUGHTER WE Will REMEMBER…. WHENEVER WE WILL REMEMBER…. The way we WERE………
  • (Barbara Streisand)

MEMORIES ARE A WAY TO HOLD ONTO THE THINGS YOU LOVED AND TREASURE…

IT’S THE SIMPLE JOYS; THE SIMPLE PLEASURES; THAT OUR HEARTS WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER….

ONLINE DATING:FIRST EXPERIENCE; part 3

 There goes my lies again, about the going to school; I am playing the part a little bit too well; I am digging my hole deeper and deeper. And Paige wanted to a doctor of some sort and she’s an A student; so it’s not all completely lies. 

So he text back, ‘actually you sound like a down to earth smart girl! I like it and at your age it’s all about education first… as it should be! And I love to cook too. I like anything where I can create… one of my passions is guitar. Been playing since I was about 10 years old. I love to read for the longest time and now I don’t read much. I guess it’s because I read quite a lot for work… idk. Anyway… it’s really nice to me “Wendy” your real name is different. Correct? Or were you playing with me at first.  So I have guitars everywhere… in my office I have on the wall of my bedroom too. And even at my hangar… it’s a release for me. Anyway… there is a little personal info for ya.  (Sent two photos of his guitars)

I thought oooh, my kind of guy; he is getting better by the minute. I do like guitars too…. Remembering I use to own one for a long time, although I did not learn how to play it too good.

 So I said, “oh wow!! Most amazing thing, I like guitars too. Back in elementary school I try the guitar in music class; I must admit my music is country… blame it on my aunt all about guitar.  So what is your favorite kind of food? Did I mention mom is Jamaican; she is Indian mix with Chinese. My real name is “Wakanita” means the lovely one. My mom maiden name is phoungpang

Ok so I went a little over board with the aunt and mom business. But I ‘m having fun with this sweet guy , I am liking him, and I want some more, I am not ready to stop just yet, he seems so very intriguing. And if I tell him or let him believe I am not Paige, he will disappear; and there is no harm in pretending a little. (no harm eh?? only a hour talking and I feel my self getting sucked in and my deception is only getting bigger and deeper… I’m so vulnerable and eagerly wanting more and I’m finding myself being swept away weaving a web of pure deception… and yet I refuse to confess my terrible deed…or let go and end this farce…)

So he responded, ‘What a beautiful name!! and I play all kinds of music…depends on my mood I guess… I like to sing and play it’s really relaxing. Ok so you are such a pretty combination of culture and aesthetic! And I love names that have a pretty meaning… ok my favorite food varies wildly on mood…I like a little of everything…if I had to pick one culture probably Italian…but I for real love tons of different foods…. And I love cooking creating new stuff…cooking can be such an art….

 Thanks for liking my name.. so you sing as well as playing . so fascinating; oh how I would love to hear you play and sing… I like Italian food too but my favorite is… wait I don’t think I have a favorite… maybe a nice juicy steak…..i don’t like Jamaican too much although I can cook it real good…and yes I like to search for recipes for a different ways of cooking [Symbol] maybe you can let me have some of yours so I can try them.

He said, ‘hmmm well I would love to taste some authentic  Jamaican’s…sure I love a great steak too……. You are super cute.

I asked him, ‘have you ever tried Jamaican food?’  Me? Super cute?

‘I don’t’ think I have,’ he answered, is it spicy?

Yeah, I told him.

Then he says,” yes your personality fits you; well I love spicy foods; I make a lemon and herb grill chicken that I put over a version of Cajun rice… it’s kind of spicy.”

I was there thinking, but this is not Paige, and she is far different from me, this is Wendy Wakanita. OMG!!! I’m getting in trouble, but I’m really enjoying this little conversation… I am…He seems to like everything I say and he is associating my personality to Paige’s face… ouch!!!  (I should just tell him.. but… omg!!! He’s going to be mad and disconnect me… I will tell him later… yes later)

 ‘Ooh sounds good,’ I told him.

So we will have to trade some recipes! That sounds fun’, he told me.

So I said to him, ‘well you will like curry chicken, stew beef ect.ect.   Yeah that sounds like fun.  I don’t like the same thing to eat everyday; you must be on lunch break to be able to talk to me this much?

He laughed, ‘haha actually I usually only work half a day mon-thurs. that’s about it unless I’m travelling;  if you stop texting I promise I’ll leave you alone… I kinda like getting to know you a little though.

Me… I’m home today so I’m trying to help mom with the cleanup… vacuuming, bathroom and so on… Not my favorite thing but…. It must be nice to have that luxury. Well as long as you are willing to play texting with me….. we are on.

(ooh my goodness, what am I saying and doing?)(

He said, ‘yeah I get it. Stuff has to get done. We all have it.

And I told him,’ and I want to know you or about you too; tell me…. A guy with your looks and charm must be taken.. Are you? Where do you travel to? Out of state or country? Give me one known building you did?

I was getting so very intrigued and fascinated by him. I like him, I thought. This is great. 

And he answered my question, ‘well I have been taken for a long time but it’s a sad story as to why I am lonely. I will spare you the details….. I for real am very outgoing and confident but usually share very little about my personal life… I haven’t the best luck, but I never dwell on it.

I thought, mmmm, sounds very married, but I don’t care right now, we are just texting buddies and I am going to respect his privacy and hopefully he won’t ask about mine. (that was a red flag for me to run and stop this…and I simply forget our first encounter, my first impression of him was totally dismissed. all I could see was… who he was portraying as now… and I like this side of him…)

That’s okay I understand I won’t asked again,’ I told him. ‘According to my aunt we always choose the wrong person to love. She knows, she‘s been married three times and still single. You seems like a great guy and humorous and I like that about you. And somehow from talking to you, it also looks like we have a lot in common…. So let’s continue on.

And we did…

And I meant every word, can’t believe that he has so much in common with me, he like everything I likes, how I wish I could tell him it’s not Paige that he’s talking to… but I don’t want to mess this up as yet, I’m liking him too much.

Ok, that sounds good! You totally just made me smile,’ he stated. “You seem super sweet and I am interested in more if you are. I will let you set the pace. (that statement only encourage more than anything else…I am in charge of this…Ha ha!!!)

‘How’s that?’ I asked. ‘Okay lover.’ I then said to him.

You just have a really relaxing way of communicating and I like it.’ He told me.

‘I’m glad.’ I said. (All smiles)

So he said, ‘so now I have a personal question…. I’m quite a bit older than you…. Does that bother you?

Oh boy… how do I answer this? I liked older men when I was younger

So I simply said, ‘no not at all.’

Then he continues, ‘you said 20s, I’m assuming early 20s.’

OMG I have to lie again…What am I getting myself into dear lord? [All these lies and deception is going to cost me big time].

So I said, ‘right.” And then I asked him, ‘does it bother you that I’m so much younger?’

Well here’s my deal… I live a very young lifestyle. I am a doer not a watcher… so I love downtime but can hang doing about anything. I’m in decent shape and I’m always doing something fun… so although many of my friends around my age I’m attracted to younger women because they can hang!  No it doesn’t bother me… I base my thought and opinion how you act…and how we connect not age.

So he liked them young: sucks for me… (that just blows the idea of telling the truth right through the window.)

 I did not know how to comment on that, so I did not.  All I say to him was, ‘My mom says I am so much like my aunt, her two first husbands were much older than her.’ 

It was the truth to a degree, and I want him to know I understand him liking Paige; and if she was old enough I would definitely  recommend him to her. But again I want him for me too; Ooh he seems so delicious. (I’m done for… my emotions are getting entangled.)

And he told me, ‘my dad was the same and my brother too… is it genetic? Ha-ha!! No idea… just a fact. Just depends where you are in life and how you live I guess… either way it’s not a problem for me.’

I started to say something. Then try to delete it but sent it by mistake, ‘ really now or maybe you,….. So I apologize, ‘sorry…. Well there is no problem then … we both agree.

 No problem at all, he said.

Good for me, I let him know.

He says, ‘me too.’

 I will share if you like and he sent me two photos of him; one with him playing the guitar and one with a girl and a guy with him. 

I like them and to me he is so damn gorgeous, I got a thrill from seeing him in those pictures; I was not even thinking of anything right there but how much I am enjoying  this cute and amazing guy so I have try to match his gifts; I didn’t even think of what I was about to do was going to cost me big time and the consequences of my action,…. My big deception, I really dive in the deep end; therefore sealing my fate.

So I sent him a few pictures of Paige; one by herself, one with Abraham and one with me.

You are so pretty, he said. Then he asks if he could send one without his shirt.

I told him to send it.

He sent two; and boy wasn’t I excited to see that beautiful sexy chest of his we all know I go crazy over a nice chest…  I’m thinking… ooooh lala!!!! Baby baby, I would, I could, and my mind went off wandering….. 

I said, ‘ooooh very sexy.’

That’s me For whatever its worth, he said to me.

Its worthy.’ I claimed.

I love your smile!!! He commented on my ( paige’s) pictures.  (i cringed a little.. but knowing I’m the one giving him that visual…

Thanks, says me. ……I was not too pleased that he liked Paige so much, but I started this so I have to deal with it…..

Are you a happy person in general? He asked. Your smile looks genuine.

I said to him, ‘I just like you.’ The truth of course. Then I answered his question, ‘yes I am happy and love to laugh.’

And I do… Paige not so much…. But I am always happy and smiling or laughing.

He then said to me. ‘You seem like a happy person. I like that… oh and the first picture… if you were trying to look super sexy… it worked!

I said, ‘I was and thanks.’…… good thing he couldn’t see my casual reaction or hear my tone. To be quite frank I was a little bit envious of Paige. I want him to like me and I wished right there that it was possible. I was tempted to tell him right there but somehow I fear he would stop talking to me and I wanted some more of him. How selfish and foolish of me. 

 Mmmm my pleasure! He said.

And so I told him, “you are hilariously delicious.”

 He laughed and said, ‘ha-ha that’s a first I can only hope you holdup my picture with one hand later[Symbol]Ha-ha!!! 

 I was laughing so hard because he just read my mind; I was already fantasizing about that beautiful chest;… oh boy oh boy. All but a dream because I am not Paige.

So I sent a picture o john and Ayden. And I said to him, ‘that my company,’ (I meant cousin)

So I corrected myself and told him, ‘that’s my cousin john and his baby, the Irish one.  I had to divert to something else.

Your company? He said.  Oh yeah ok; I remember you telling me about him; bad temper; I don’t forget.’

I said, yeah. And then I asked, ‘are you bad-tempered too?

He said, ‘well although the Irish seems to get a free pass on the temper thing…. I think that’s bullshit. I can have a bad temper, but it takes a ton to set me off…. I’m not an angry person.

 I sat there thinking, he keeps on gets better and better by the minute, wow!! My kind of guy. (i was so  intrigued by him… instead of me trying to figure a way out of my lies I’m here liking him more… I couldn’t see pass my nose…)

My aunt says it’s an Irish trait.’ I told him; and then I let him know it was good to know that he is not an angry person.

 He then went on to explain,” yeah I hear that a lot but it seems to me that most people have a bad temper it’s a matter of how you have to push them to get it out… I’m a guy…. If someone really wants a fight I won’t back down… but I don’t get pissed over stupid stuff.

I told him, ‘I like you…’    and I honestly did, if he was describing his self truthfully then I like him… he’s super perfect.

He said awwww!!!! I like you too.’  “I’m not sure if you are in over your head. Only you can decide that pretty girl. But I’m sure enjoying getting to know you.

I did not respond to that, I did not know exactly what to say……

I asked him, what month is your birthday? Mine is in February.’  (So is Paige’s)

He told me April, “Taurus ha ha! Explains a lot doesn’t it?

He then sends me two more pictures of his hangar; one with a guitar on the wall and other one, outside with a jeep.  Told you I had one at the hangar too[Symbol]

And I continued with our conversation, ‘ my other cousin that is in the second picture of me is Taurus he is the brother of the Irish and he’s definitely always happy. His father is Chinese.’ ‘Wow! You really like guitars.’ I said to him in respond to the pictures he sent.

All these lies and make believes; I was slowly heading for a big fall. Little did I know?

Then he said to me, ‘what a cool mix of relatives you have! And so thank you nice cousin for helping the irish out.’

It’s my auntie’s influence,’ I told him.

Well, it’s one of those things I can enjoy almost anywhere… and my hanger is a great place to play and sing… good reverb because it a big room with high ceilings and concrete floors you know? That’s a good thing! He responded to my comment.

So I said, ‘ I like that you enjoy life and make the most of it.’

Well I try! Thanks!, he stated, ‘maybe we will share a little piece of life. Who know? If not…. You are a pretty cool texting buddy so far.’

 So I told him, ‘ you have a passion and you live it every day. I want to create something like that for myself.’  You are just too nice,’ I said to him. 

And I meant it; I liked him more and more, I getting very impressed with him. He sounds so excitable and full of passion for everything he does.

Then he told me, ‘to me it’s how life should be, my family has seen terrible tragedy, I refuse not to live. You are super sweet baby.  So tell me what close friends and family call you and what should I call you. Please.’

 I told him, ‘wendy or wak.’

And do you have a preference?’ he asked.

Wendy, I say, ‘or maybe …. Some form of endearment… like  “pretty girl”.’ And I smiled. 

I was feeling quite pleased, talking to him, forgettingg a little that I am not being truthful, getting so caught up with over conversation, enjoying knowing him and feeling a little excited just talking to him.

Then he said, ‘if I were going your use your name I would use my own version… just because you are super sweet and it seems to fit…. ‘NITA’… it rolls off the tongue and sounds sweet anyone calls you that. Well pretty girl fits for sure!’

I was smiling very sweetly loving his nickname for me. I like it,’ I told him, ‘ to you I’ll be ‘NITA’. 

If he could have only seen the smile on my face?

Me too, it fits you to me… and I would like to use at least part of your real name because it’s so beautiful,’ he said.

 Oh thank you,’ I goes.

‘Sure pretty girl!! Just my 2 cents,’ he told me.

And I come back with, ‘you 2 cents worth a million dollars to me.”  I was so pleased I was smiling so widely.

‘Awwww!!! You are so sweet Nita!’ He claimed.

“you are the sweet one,’ I told him.

Then he told me, ‘I sure have enjoyed getting to know you today! It was nice! And I’m really glad we seem to get off to batter start!

We talked some more… and more we talked  the more I was caught up in my lies and deception… and every time I say I have to come clean he said something else  for me to be so glad he doesn’t know it’s me behind the texting… and i find myself so enthralled…and all I could think about is the next time we talked…

 

TO BE CONTINUED…….

 

ONLINE DATING: CHOICES

I WAS READING AN ARTICLE ABOUT A COMMENT MADE BY ONE MAN ABOUT HIS OPINIONS ON GIRLS WHO POSES SEXUALLY AND SENSUALLY TO STIMULATE MEN ONLINE…HE WANTS US GIRLS TO KNOW THAT MEN ONLY LUST AT US AND DON’T REALLY LIKES US. {DUH} THAT’S THE EXACT INTENTION INTENDED…

My own opinion on the subject is that he was not giving us ladies any credit in knowing exactly what to expect from these men…  some girls might just be open sexually, but…some  do get  joy out of sexual insinuations and innuendos…knowing that they can hold and command men interests and be able to stimulate their sexual desire making them lustful.

Men are not the only ones that are very sexual: some women are highly sexual too and are very comfortable with themselves and their sexuality…they are easily stimulated and do find the male body and their erogenous zone very desirable and stimulating. Men are known to be the species who is all about lust and sex… but don’t be mistaken, we women do  too.. and most are very bashful and reserved; but, some of us are quite bold and open.. and it’s not right to be classed as sleazy or trashy because we used our assets to entice and stimulate men..

FOR YOUR INFORMATION: men do reciprocate and expose their lustful assets too.. and we do enjoy what they have to offer and derive  great satisfaction from it. We are not expecting LOVE; or a relationship, it’s all about having a little fun with something that we find an enjoyment in doing…it makes us laugh and it amuses both parties and we are not harming anyone with our fun time..

It’s about a matter of choice and knowing exactly what we want and expect from it… So please don’t judge our action just because you don’t approve of it.. you too have a choice.. you can choose ignore and bypass it all… and you don’t have to accept it.. but please don’t pass judgement.

We all have the freedom of choice to do what we think is right for us. And I still believe… IF YOU HAVE IT… FLAUNT IT…

Daily Prompt: Luxury

via Daily Prompt: Luxury

LUXURY??????

When we think luxury, we think riches; all the things money can buy and allow us to gain.. Land, houses, cars jewellery, yacht, vacations.. ect. ect..

The meaning of luxury is the state of great comfort and extravagant living…. excessive.

WE always relate luxury to our way of living in the this world… but… I always think of the luxuries of life differently… Living and enjoying life and all this world has to offer is what I like to think of as luxuries …

I think that knowing to live life fully and being totally contend in where you are at and who you are will allow you to be able to enjoy all the great luxuries of life.

My number one joy of life is to be loved intensely and to love with the same passion .. is life greatest luxury; this one emotional feeling.. creates so much joy and happiness that it leaves you feeling so exhilarating and breathless; it makes life so worthwhile and makes you so glad to be alive, so you could experience this most awesome and amazing feeling of being in love and be loved.

My number two is the food we eat.. man.. nothing like having and enjoying a good meal. It’s always great to feel so satisfied and full and having the taste lingering in your mouth. It is the staff of life and one life greatest luxury…

The people we meet.. the friends we form and the bonds we creates.. the laughter we share.. The kids we bear and brought into this world… the joy of watching them grow and joy of molding them … and caring and helping them to be the best you know how..

The world couldn’t be any better… as long as you accomplished and achieve these … you have life greatest luxuries… It’s all that money can’t buy and if you have all the money in the world and you don’t have any these worldly luxuries… then your life would still feel empty and your happiness and joy would only be short-lived and you will keep on trying to find things to buy to fill the gap…

THE LUXURIES OF LIFE… LOVE.. FOOD… FRIENDS…KIDS.. equals JOY… HAPPINESS… LAUGHTER AND A LIFE WORTH LIVING…