In the evening after my doctors visit I sent a text telling him that I got a script that only he can fill, and I need to get it fill now.

He thought I was funny. Then he asks, “what u doin?

I replied that I would love to do him.And that I wish he was here with me.

MYLOVE-LOVE response took me by surprise.

“Yea me too, but I got the kids with me and they are eating.”

That little text made me feel so special and I know  he really likes me. This is the closest we ever come to talk about us being together, ever.

Anyway I text back telling him I understand, and ask him about the kids. And if he got to pay his insurance. He said, “They are ok, and yea I paid it thanks. I needed that.”

I was feeling connected to him and hopes that he appreciates my friendship. I play over in my mind our little conversation and my heart was singing with joy because it seems like we are getting closer.

I was still in doubt but with some hope. I did not hear from him next couple of days. I did not try to contact him either because I knew he got his babies with him and it’s the weekend and he got all that to do. The studio; the club; the shop ect.

I didn’t hear from him all that week though…. and I didn’t try to call or text either…

I was getting a bit concerned about his lack of communication all week.. I feel like we are back to square one..I just tell myself I will just take it as it comes…


And again I guess He felt my mood, because he text me that day, said,

“Wassup, Iam good. I am at the park with the kids.”

I was at work so I could not talk to him…

You see, I was trying real hard, too hard to be practical & realistic about his feelings. I was thinking for him. I was so busy telling me that  I’m just a fling to him and that he couldn’t or wouldn’t feel for me like that;  I may have miss his true feelings for me and instead of me asking him I presumably  have the answers…and  let my casual attitude do the talking.

I got a text from him Tuesday night informing me that his phone got wet and he just got it replaced. That’s why He did not respond to my texts.

And I thought… isn’t it just amazing, how good it makes me feel to just get a simple text from him.

And I asked myself????….Why is he so damn special? What about him that makes my heart jumps for joy? Why do I place so much importance on him? WHY?

Boy…. when I think of him I always get this sweet sensation that run through my body. It is this tingling feeling that gives me goose pimples and makes me shudder. I love the feeling.

I heard from him a couple days later,letting me know how busy he was…

I asked him how does he get all this energy from, and that he need to tell me his secret.

. Of course he tries to educate and advice me. He said,” don’t rush or worry, just be cool and enjoy what u work so hard for.”

He also said, “I b tired, I just save it by taking my time.”

I was amused and smile by his reply. He doesn’t realize, one of the reasons I liked him so much, and is attracted to him is because he is just like me 20 years ago. Full of energy & life. I was always on the go too. Had three jobs round the clock and never tires.

And I sit there thinking…..I don’t want to lose him, but how am I going to keep him to me. I don’t have what it takes.

Wake up this one morning, smiling thinking of MYLOVE-LOVE. He can always put a smile on my face. Wish I could have him close to me so I could just hug him real tight and get one of those juicy kiss of his. Sure love to kiss him so.

I got my wish that  SATURDAY. He came to see me, and OH MY GOD!! It was so good to have him here. His loving was so intense and affectionate. I was left me wondering if he is feeling more for me.

I try not to get overly excited because I could be wrong, I wanted to ask him about ‘us’…but couldn’t get the nerves to… afraid of hearing his answers…

I ‘m thinking…. when he loves me like that though… how can I help but love him and I do with everything I got.  hoped that he liked me some and I prayed, “Dear lord make it so”.

All week I have not heard from MYLOVE-LOVE except a little goodnit on Tuesday.  Did not feel like I should be bothering him too much. Thought he might be busy with his kids and shop.

That GOODNIT put my mind a little at ease. At least I know he’s out there and doing ok. Let me feel good.

I sent a few text to him during the week but haven’t gotton any responses from him.. I was a little disappointed and discouraged that he completely ignores my texts… I was a little emotional thinking how can he come over and love me like that and then just forgets about me…I was missing him and getting this deep desire to be with him.. I was longing and yearning for his touch… So by the weekend I relented and try again to reach out to him..


On SATURDAY. I sent him a text.. saying,”hey, thoughts of you.. missing you..”

He replies,”Was up, Iam good.”

Told him I was cleaning and ask him what is he doing?

He wrote back,”yea Iam at the shop with the kids. U cleaning up? U got them boys helping u?”

I told him no, then ask about his kids. He again responded, “They are watching TV and playing the games.”

That little communication with him made me so happy. I was feeling so good to hear from him. I’m so crazy that any little connection or communication from him pleases me and let me feel closer to him.

That night …


I text him telling him that I had this crazy dream about him and he should be careful. He never asks about the dream, but I could not get it out of my head.

I text him that Monday morning. He answered that he’s good and asked how am I doing? He said he just got back from dropping the kids off. I told him I was at work and could not talk.

At 12:46pm a text came in from him,”wasup can u helps me out wit like $200. If not its ok, I just give my Grandma $500 to help her with her lights and food and rent. Now I got nothing to pay for my lights.”

I saw this text and I thought is he for real. I don’t have it like that, and is he abusing my generosity? Of course He is.

Anyway I text back jokingly saying that with all this money I’m giving I going to own all of him soon, and ask him what am I going to get for giving him this money.

His response,”lol wat u wants?”

And then He text asking me to hook up his friend with one of my freaky buddies.

I really was not amused about this and thought what is he thinking and saying to his friend about me. All I could think was he was having fun on my account. I felt bad for me because I know he was belittling me making me out to be a sleazy.

I was a little upset at his request..  I was at work so I did not respond to him and i wanted some time to think about his feelings towards me.  Was a bit confused about my feelings, do love him but know he feel nothing for me.

I was so upset that I kinda forgotten about the money he asked for…but…a few days later…

he text me , “Wassup? Wat u doin? Can u do that 4 me wat I had ask u the other day?

I reply asking him if it urgent and what is he up to?

He says he was cutting some grass until it start to rain so now he’s off to the shop. And it is urgent.

I told him  I don’t have it and asked him if he wait a few days…

Of course he said, “Yes I’ll hang on. I don’t feel good I think this work and running around is catching up with me.”

We talked for a while longer I even offer to nurse him better. (me trying to get him to see me)

He told me he sees what’s up later. Thought I would have seen him but he never showed. I was not surprised… I don’t have the money he requested…

I was feeling very strongly about refusing him the money. It was becoming a habit I could not afford.. and I still was thinking about his comment about my freaky friends…

I text him that night asking if he’s feeling any better.

He told me no and that he has been sleeping all day.

Next day…I again inquire about his health..

He told me he was little better and that he stayed home, got some rest. Didn’t feel like eating, had to force himself to eat some soup.

Then he asks how I was and if I still could do that for him.

I completely ignore his question..

I was going on vacation that coming week so I decided to ask him for a date night that weekend. He agrees that he would come over   Saturday and be with me.  I was so excited about that night   It meant that much to me.

He communicates with me all that week up to Friday and I was feeling real good that he stays in touch with me and was not ignoring me like he normally do.

On Friday. I told him to come have breakfast with me that morning, and he did. I was going to see my doctor (gyno) and I never intend to have any sex because I  want to save It all for our date night


I made him breakfast, we ate and I ask him to let me tell him about that dream I had of him. He did not want to hear about it, says he don’t like to hear anything bad. So I never told him.

we were talking and he lay back on the bed.. seeing him lying there looking so good my mind started to wander and kitty was just as bad…

I try to resist him just lying there but I couldn’t. I could never resist loving on him. I had to get a taste of those lips, that neck. I had to kiss his face and then that chest.OMG!  THAT CHEST and I got down to that d…k. and for some reason that morning it tastes so good. I got lost in him, I enjoyed him so much that morning, and I couldn’t get enough. I was late for my doctor’s appt. He hugged me so tightly and squeezes me to him and kisses me so passionately, and before he walked out of my house he turned around came back and give me another little hug and a kiss goodbye. And says he’ll see me tomorrow. I smile and couldn’t be any happier. I could hardly wait for tomorrow to come.

SATURDAY 14th: Spent all day preparing for my date night with MYLOVE-LOVE.  I cooked something real special. I bought a cheese cake, a bottle of hennessy, some wine and anxiously await MYLOVE-LOVE. And guess who did not show.

It was a no show no call. I was very disappointed and a bit hurt.  I’d even ask him to call or text if he was not going to make it. I was not too upset thinking he must have a good reason. I just hope everything was ok with him.  I started to feel like I should end this charade because he doesn’t care about me. . I wished he cared about me though, even a little.

What happen to yesterday????  He came by enjoyed breakfast.. enjoyed me… he love on me so passionately… leave me with a kiss.. and a lovingly hug… and a promise of a date night…



I was crushed and swear I’m done… But the choice was made for me.. Learnt  he got arrested with a gun that same Friday night.  He spent a few days in and when he got out We talked briefly once but he just faded away…

My only consolation was… we ended with a bang….

Well, August Friday 13th would be the last of us for the next eleven months. And the heartaches begin. Here come the tears, the sleepless nights and the mourning of my loss of something I never had.

I went through a little emotional phase.. but He did resume connection  almost a year after….




I was back to my usual attitude and having the same feelings of letting go… so I just start to develop an attitude of “whatever”…  It’s been going so long and I kinda got used to his behaviour… I just carry on as is and wait until he decided to come looking for me…

So I didn’t try to contact or reach out to him for a couple of weeks..

I decided t0  sent him GN SWEET DREAMS.  Friday & Saturday night.

He responded.

I started to get restless again and decided to reach out to him… I text him. No answer. It was a holiday so I figured he might be busy with family, enjoying his day. That’s ok I thought.    I tried again Monday but again I got nothing. I try to tell me its ok, he’s probably just busy. We’ll see.

So I text him GN SWEET DREAMS.



I wanted to see him or even talk to him even though I know… from his actions… he doesn’t think of me like that. I got the feelings that he might be seeing somebody else. That ok, I thought.  He needs to have somebody special


Got a text, 7:32pm, a few days later, “u wok 2nit?”

Told him yes.

Thought I’d see him but it did not happen. I was kinda excited hoping for a repeat of his visit a few weeks back..

We talked through texting on Monday.  He said that he’s good and he was  in the studio. I text him on Tuesday asking him if he’s ok. He replied that he’s good and asked  if I was at work.

I told him I was off… so he came over.

I was so ecstatic.  He spent some time with me. We made love, like it was the first time… I hungrily love on him and he love like he really misses me and he really enjoyed me to the the I did enjoyed him too… he kisses me and held me tightly very tenderly and whispered…

“I needed that so much… thank you !!!”   I just kissed him and smile and hugged him to me and he returned my hug with a squeeze …

I was so happy to see and be with him. While he was here with me nothing else or nobody else matters. I just savor and enjoy him as much as I can.

Can’t believe that this one guy brings me so much joy every time.

After he left, I was beside myself… I say “YEAH!!! My Love-Love was here!  He stayed a little, love me a lot and OMG Thank you, Thank you. I get to see MYLOVE-LOVE. It was so good; love that guy so so much.

Seeing him put me a good mood for a few days… but he always left me wanting more.. I could think of nothing else but him. After that incredible loving from him I could not wait to get some more. I was becoming insatiable  and the more he comes around the more I want him and the more I feel for him…

So by Friday I was getting impatient to see him. I have this strong desire to be with him. I could still feel his hugs and kisses. I was trying not to get too over excited about him, but he gives me so much joy, that I get zealous.

One day at a time DEAR LORD. One day at a time. HELP ME!!!

I keep thinking of our deal and what we agreed upon… no strings.. just causal sex… but here I am catching feelings for a guy who is good only for some good loving to me….

Don’t know what to think or believe. The way he holds me tells me he likes me .But could I be wrong? We’ll see. This uncertainty and insecurity is driving me crazy. Couldn’t ask him. Wants it to be so, but afraid to get my hopes up. Can he see me as a girlfriend? Can I ask him to?   No, I couldn’t do that to him. It couldn’t and wouldn’t be right for him.  Leave it as it is Wendy. Enjoy him as long as he allows you to, and you are getting far more than you expected. Just be thankful and enjoy him while it last.

So I leave it be..


Try to text him on Sunday 18th. Nothing. Just hope he’s ok. Just need to hear from him. Wake up Monday with one of my Anxiety attacks. And of course MYLOVE-LOVE came to mind. I was anxious to hear from him. I had this negative feeling, and I’m here trying to analyze it. It frightens me. I’m thinking I’m never going to see him again.

It’s funny how I associated everything to him..

… But he could be just busy, caught up in his life or he hit a down spot and doesn’t feel like communicating. I want to reach out but feel its best I give him some space, and resume back to my decision to let him be the one to control our fate…

It just amazed me every time I make up my mind to stop, he text me.

I got a text Wednesday 21st, “wassup? How u been?”

I was quite pleased to say the least. I text him back ask him about his school, and how he’s doing? He answered, “Iam good. School is doin ok.”

I ask if he’s at school. And he said.”I am at the shop and no school today.”

We stopped texting. I was happy to have that little conversation with him. It was the most we ever talked through texting.

I love to stay connected to him… I know  we can never be anything else than what we have now… and I hope it’s enough to constitute a lasting friendship… I have come to terms with just be friendly with benefits whenever the need arrives/arises…

I was feeling really good about him trying to communicate with me… I was hoping it means that he is coming around,and realizing that I’m a friend worth keeping…and that we have spent enough intimate times together that he does like me after all….


At 4:16pm I got another text from him.  “I need a favor: I need $250 to put insurance on my car. If u can’t its ok. I got a lot going on and my money going fast.”

Ooooh maan…. wtf????  is he for real?  He is asking for more money this time… I laughed out loud…

so I ask him, “when do you did need this?

He replied, “by Friday or I got to turn my tag in.”

I was shaking my head not fully beleiving his story… but wanting to help him and knowing it’s one way to get to see him and get me some good loving… so he was using me to finance him and I was using the money to lure into my bed and my arms… kitty was agreeing with my choice… getting all excited anticipating having him loving me and giving me great satisfaction and sexual gratification.

I text back telling him I will give it to him because I know he needs his car to get around.

He says, “yea, I do thanks, I got the kids this week I can come by when I drop them off tomorrow.”

I told him that’s just fine.

7:29am Thursday morning he text me, “wassup I be over there once I drop the kids off, u up?

And so he came for the money. I fixed him breakfast and had a little fun. well more like lots of fun… he didn’t disappoint.. kitty was more than happy with the petting and the loving..

I enjoyed his company even for that short time and I told him I was going to see my doctor about the pain I was experiencing. He left. And I felt good just to see him. The money I did not think twice about, because I thought I was helping him… and I got exactly what i wanted in return…  some good good loving which leaves me smiling….









I went through the next few weeks like a zombie. Missing MYLOVE-LOVE. And feeling real bad because he ignores me. To make matters worse I found out that he has been talking to veronie and everybody else except me. And I wonder, why not me? What did I do to him? Why was it ok to talk to everyone else and not me? After all the times we spent together and the intimate moments we shared.. I thought we were friends and deserve some acknowledgement..

On May 5th I got a text saying, “wassup stranger”.

I sent a reply and but got nothing else. . I was like a school girl with her first broken heart. I was so frustrated and helpless because He would not communicate with me and I did not know how to reach him.

I was missing him and his presence..and I was afraid that I will never see him again and I was not ready to let him go…

I had bought some things for his little girl’s birthday, and I wanted him to get them. So I called him tell him I have them and how can I get them to him.

He text back that he wants them and that he will come and pick it up. He never did. I try to call the following day and would you believe that he hung up on me. I was so mad and upset that he would treat me so cold and mean.

I just couldn’t understand his behavior towards me…. he was so cold and a little mean and I was so hurt thinking I didn’t mean much to him for him to ignore me and refuses to talk to me..

He tries to call me later that day, I did not answer… I was still upset with him hanging up on me.. And then he sent me a text that his phone die while talking to me. I did not believe.

Anyway I wanted to get those present to the little girl so I decided to call his friend, whom number I have, to pick them up and pass them to him. I had the feeling He thought I was trying to see him, so I figure I would go pass him… yes I wanted to see him but I wasn’t going to harass him..if he didn’t want nothing to do with me…I will just leave him alone..

Well the friend came got them and then I text him telling him to collect them from him. He text me informing me that him and this guy no longer buddies. OPPS! The friend did not let me know this. OK. I decided to call the friend to bring them back.

MYLOVE-LOVE called a few days after..  asking me why I didn’t give veronie the presents to give him. I thought why would I want to do that? And he just went on and on about if I wanted to get it him I should have given her.

I was so hurt to know that he was still seeing her.. and not me… and I didn’t want her to know I was with him anyways…

I got so mad I hang up. I’m thinking how could he ask me that? What is he thinking? Doesn’t he know how I feel for him? That day I cried so hard. I cried because He doesn’t care about me in the least. I’m here thinking, I mean nothing to him, nothing. Thought I found me a friend, a true friend.  How wrong can I be?

I guess my emotions for him was way more than I would care to admit…

I decided not to text or call anymore. Leave him, I told myself. I was hurting and I was still crying a little whenever I thought of him  and his coldness. I was missing him but it doesn’t make sense wanting someone who doesn’t return your feeling…

A few weeks later I got a phone call apx. 12:30 am from MYLOVE-LOVE. telling me how busy he was and about all that he’s doing. He then asks me for $200. I told him I haven’t got it.

I was so glad to hear from him…but a little disappointed for the reasons I got that call.

Then I told him to call me that Saturday and I will see what I can do for him. Of course he called me and we talked some. I told him to give me a week and I will come up with it for him.

Here I am promising him money in hopes of getting the chance to see him.. My feelings have not changed much.. and I find myself getting all excited just talking to him… I still want him.

It’s been now six weeks since I last seen him and I was in great anticipation of seeing him again. For the next week I didn’t hear anything from him and I thought that was it. “oooh well”.

June 01st I got a text telling me that he’s trying to get stuff done and he’s been busy. He’s so tired and he has not talk to anybody because he is so busy.

Then he asked, “how u doin?”

I replied, I was pleased to hear from him. Then he asked, “So can you help me out with something?

I told him I will on one condition. That he never lose contact with me again and he have to keep me close. He agrees to the terms and said he will try.

I got a wassup Wednesday, I heard from him Thursday and, Friday. On Friday he said his car need fixing. He’s so damn tired.

. And again he asks, “Can u still do that for me?   I said yes.

Saturday he asks me what I am doing. I was working, did not get his text. And he text back, ‘Wassup. Now you don’t want to text back.”

I was amused and I apologized and told him I am working. I asked if he is not coming for the money or if he changes his mind. He told me he needs it but having trouble getting a ride.

So after six weeks of silence I heard from him every day for one week. I was feeling real good about communicating with him like that. But I was left to wonder is it because he wants to talk to me or is it because I promise him the money.

I knew the answer but I did not care because I would do almost anything just to see him and have him close again. I was going to pay him for a little of his time… How sad… but to me then… just getting a chance to be with him again was well worth it…

I could not wait to love on him again. To kiss those lips, Love on that chest, and have him hug me to him. I could hardly wait to see him.













After that incident with him, and my selfish behavior,  I was convinced that we would never be together again, but after a week or so ; seeing him everyday… remembering that passionate night…playing it in my mind, thinking how he felt; how he looks; I started to feel the desire to be with him again.

So I decided to ask him for a night, seeing that he is not going to asked me…

It was coming to valentines and our birthdays.  Mine the 16th and his 17th. So I bravely ask him if I could see him for Valentines. At first he said no, but I didn’t give up… I mention it every chance I got, until…..

 At the last minute he said ok. I was more than happy. I was ecstatic.

I went ahead and try to plan a very romantic and sensuous night…I buy this eatable chocolate, this heated scented massage oil.. and I got him a beautiful card… I had our night all planned out… I’m going to make it a night to remember..


He was still seeing Veronie and I was still a bit jealous but my need to be with him was stronger than my jealousy and envy. And all that matters to me at that point was being with him anyhow I can and I was not going to let anything spoil my time with him. I decided I am going to enjoy him to the fullest.  So I got my date…

I was so excited, and so full of anticipation I could hardly wait!!!!  and then it’s here….

  I went over to his apartment, knock on his door, he stands there in a sweatpants…and to me he was the most beautiful sight.. I was smiling and a little shy, he invited me in, and he hugged me and give me a little peck on he cheek… and led me to the couch and we got under a blankie… it was a little cold.

  WE started off watching a little movie, but,I couldn’t keep my hands off him. just being so close to him… wanting him for so long… I couldn’t help myself…we then proceed to the bedroom.

It was cold night and we were under a blanket, MYLOVE-LOVE put it around the two of us and walked us to the room , arm in arm… on our way I kind of stumble, he just catch me, steady me, and said, “I got you, it’s ok.”

 I just smile, feeling so good just being there with him, and lovingly pinch his buttock.

  Once in bedroom and I offer and suggested to give him a massage. He was all gamed, he got on his tummy …I very gentle pour the oil on his back….and sensuously caress and massage it in.. I moved slowly down till I reached his buttocks….so round… so firm….  I bent down and kiss that sink in his back using the tip of my tongue to trace the path to his buttock..

he let out a deep groan,”mmmm”. I smiled pleasingly.

I love the taste of him as I knead his buttock  lovingly… He decided to roll over…and whoaaa!!!!!

I took it in my hands and I looked up at him and he has his eyes closed with a face showing pure pleasure… I put some of the oil in my hands… and latter him in it… He starts to moan softly and said,”shit… shit..”. (his favorite words)

I then lick at the tip… and pull him all the way down my throat…he thrust his hips and his hand on my head urges me on… he tastes so good…We make love for the next hour or so.. I had my night of pleasure and nothing matters at that moment but lying there in his arms …

  We then decide to just lie there and try to sleep.. we were exhausted.. 

he became very quiet and was a bit distant and aloof, but I did not care because I was exactly where I wanted to be. My most favorite place. Right next to him.

He then started to talked a little about his life and his dreams. And how I enjoyed just lying there listening to him, learning about him and feeling so close and connected to him. I felt he was opening up to me accepting me, and getting closer to me. I was in heaven.

He fell asleep and I watched him sleeping. I hug him close to me and try to savor every minute with him because I was thinking this will be our last time, he doesn’t want me or like me like that.

I woke up to   a phone call from Barbara (my sister) wishing me HAPPY VALENTINES.  I got up ask him if he wants breakfast he said, “yes”  So I started to cook him something.

I was standing by the stove when I felt him behind me. He was kissing my neck and his hand was on my kitty, I got so excited and turned on. It felt so good that I dropped everything and respond to him. He bent me over and entered me there. Gosh!!!  It  felt so good;

  He then led me to the couch and gave me one of the best loving I ever had. I couldn’t believe that I could feel like that. And when we were finished I wanted more, much, much more. I was on fire… but we ran out of time…So my night ended with a bang. We ate breakfast and he took me home. I was smiling all day. MYLOVE-LOVE sure knows how to put a smile on my face. I was happy and contented for the next two days.

 Our birthdays was coming up…I bought a cheese cake and a bottle of moscato wine for his birthday and I thought I could convince him to spend it with me… he denied my request.. I wanted a repeat of our valentines night… But…..

He had other plans. He wanted to spend it with veronie, and he did.  

I die inside knowing that he wanted her and not me but I have to accept that we could never be. And I smile every time I thought of us. It didn’t bother me much because I get to see him every day, and as long as I’m able to see him I could cope with my emotions. I’d settle for friendship I told myself….but my desires and need for him was growing with each passing day..

I was just fooling myself…




I was getting so anxious for him to suggest us getting together again… and I starting to believe that it’s never going to happen when…..

He asked me to baby sit for him…  Of course…   I was more than happy to do so, because it means being with him again.  I was hoping and expecting a night like the one we had before. So i make sure the kids were all in bed before he got home… I sat there anticipating a night full of passion… and I was visualising all I would do to him.. I was so impatient waiting for him to come through that door..

Well he came home from work apx. 11:30pm .  A little later than I had expected… I suspected he was with veronie some.

You see he was still seeing her and I believed they were a couple but I decided to enjoy him when Im with him and not to mention anything or anybody to upset our time together. I did find out that she babysits those kids and even stayed over sometimes. I was so jealous and a bit mad but I remembered our deal. Just casual. . [I knew I could not compete with any young girl and I knew I had nothing to fight with. And I knew we said no strings.  I was helpless and hopeless. Here I am, wanting this guy with everything I got and couldnt demand, command or ask anything of him.]

So he came home and was very distant and so casual… decided that he was going to sleep on the couch, I asked him where am I going to sleep. He told wherever I liked. I was not too happy about that and then he just ignored me… I then realized that he had no intention of making love to me..

So I was not going to have the same experience. He does not want me like that. I wanted to leave, I would have left but I couldnt because he was asleep and I didnt want to call john so late. So I just steam and fight with me all night because I was feeling neglected, rejected and lonesome.

   He probably was just tired and didnt feel like fooling around or, like my mind is telling me he does not want me anymore . I try to convinced myself  with all the plausible explanations I could come up with.

I didn’t even stop to think of the kids.. I was so wrapped up in my own emotions and desires.. 

  Ill never know. I felt so bad I started to cry, so I got up from the couch sat there in the bathroom just beating myself up feeling like a fool, thinking why I allow myself to be treated like this. I even swear that I will never do this again.

  He got up to check on the kids and saw me sitting in the bathroom, asked me what Im doing there..not really concerned and went back to sleep. I then decided to come out and I went and lie between his legs and put my head on his tummy. Thats where I spent the rest of the night. I woke up feeling quite comfortable lying on him, nowhere else Id rather be, but it ended soon, much too soon. I was hoping he would want to make love: I playfully touched and rub against his cock… hoping to trigger some reaction… but He didn’t make any effort towards me so I know he was not interested.

Maybe because the kids was there .. and he didn’t want to take the chance of them catching us.. I was so selfishly thinking about me… I simply forgot about the babies.

He got the kids up took them to school and me home. Was very disappointed, I guess he did not like me as much as I thought and I was convinced that was the end of us. So we had a one night stand. I wanted more, much more, but it was out of my control…. He obviously didn’t share my feelings..

I got home and analyze the night and realize that I might have over reacted just a tad..

What was I thinking.. wanting a night of passion with three babies 👶 in the house….

With all this, it was still a very joyous and happy time for me. And even though he was giving me the cold shoulder, ignoring me and dismissing me. Just seeing him use to give so much joy.  It was like getting a buzz.  I used to love the sensation I get just thinking of him. And I waited impatiently hoping  for a next time.  I would text every morning and every night. Me thinking Im keeping his mind on me, instead I was becoming quite obsessive.

He was not responding to my text or calls. At work he completely ignores me. He spends most of his time with veronica and all the other young girls. I felt so bad for me but tell myself that its ok, Im too old for him anyway.  I console myself, convincing me that Im unable to compete for his affections. Why would he like me?  But with all this I still hope for more of him.   AND  I PRAYED FOR SOME MORE TIME WITH HIM.

I know I should have given up… but I was like a woman who got hooked on drugs and was craving for a buzz.. I so much wanted another dose of him…

I will find a way…







After that initial night he cancelled, I waited for him to suggest a next date . He didn’t called and he didn’t say anything to me about it… I see him everyday and for the next couple of weeks I kinda gave up on the idea. he was still seeing veronie and he wasn’t giving me too much attention.

I just thought I’d let it go..

It was a Tuesday. He was off ;   I work the closing shift.  I missed seeing him but to my surprised… He showed up, looking  so handsome, all dressed up. He stopped to talk to me, I was all smiles, so pleased to see him.   a bit jokingly he ask if I want him to come for me later.

I told him not to play with me like that and he said he is not playing… I was sitting down and he came up behind me and kiss me on the cheek., and whispered ” see you later.” winked at me as he walked out..

It gives me such a thrill .. I was smiling and thinking if he was really serious. I still did not believe that he would have come but he text me at 10:40

how u doing 

I answered, and he text back  Ill be there at 10 to give you a ride, or u can ride me.”

  he did come for me.

I was so nervous .. I was not prepared for this encounter but… find myself getting all excited in anticipation..  when I got to his place I was shaking a little,

So , I excuse myself to the bathroom to get my nerves and freshen up a little I took me a quick shower.. . When I came out he was only in his underpants.

I had to catch my breath, he was so beautiful. He had this sexy perfect body, his  chiseled chest, his strong muscled  legs, he  was a sight to behold, I completely forgot my  fears.

he then pulled me to him and  kiss me… good god! He kisses like a dream,

I was caught up in a whirlwind of passion…  He tasted so good feel so wonderful and then he lay back on the bed taking me along with him and  asked me to get on top and I told him no , I did not want to embarrass myself so soon..

He just scoop me up put me on the bed straddled me and said, ‘that’s ok, that’s why u got a young boy for. I would have love more foreplay but I was so ready to feel him inside of me.. I took hold of his hard throbbing cock… gentle stroking and enjoying the feel of it.. guiding him to my soaking wett and eagerly twitching kitty.

And then he enters me… slowly.. I gasp with pure pleasure as he started to thrust gentle at first building up tempo as I beg him to go faster…and harder… he eagerly responded..

. I can’t start to tell you how that feels… I was in heaven.

And he sure knows how make me feel good

. And he kept on saying,”oh shit, oh shit, oh shit.”

And I kept thinking “oh shit, oh shit, oh shit.”

He was enjoying me as much as I was enjoying him..

We both cum with a force and I held on to him tightly, not wanting to let him go…  and he was smiling and whispered,

“You felt so good.” and planted a most passionate kiss on my lips..  I smiled… so happy and so pleased.. he was everything I thought he would be.

I was glad I got the opportunity to be with him. It was my best night ever.  I stayed over that night and we made love again& again, I watched him sleep, hold him in my arms and wake up beside him. I came away wanting more and wondering if I will ever a get another chance to be with him. I can’t forget how he looks while he was sleeping or how it feels to hold him in my arms. Truth be told.. I feel in love with him from that moment…. MYLOVE-LOVE

All that week I was walking on air anticipating our next time. Afraid to ask him. couldt take my eye or my mind off him. I kept on picturing that gorgeous, sexy body of his. Going to HOMEDEPOT was a pleasure for me because it means seeing him…

A week has passed and I was hoping for an opportunity to suggest another date.. I wanted him so badly.. I wanted to ravage and devour him all.. I was so eager for another chance.. I wanted more.. yes..more








The first week of January …. It was cold and I have noticed that he didn’t have a warm jacket so I brought him a one to wear outside. He accepts and said thanks.. and he walks over to my cash register to express his gratitude.. I have this silly on my face.. just so pleased to have him close and being attentive to me..

Then.. he left and went to talk to one of my co-worker.. she was one of my bestie at the job; we started together.. and she was young , in her twenties..

I noticed his demeanor and saw his smile.. and saw her reaction… and I felt my green monster surfacing.. and i was raging inside and getting all emotional..

It was as if  my whole world came crashing down on me. He was flirting with my little friend veronica.  OH BOY! I was so jealous & crushed. 

. Then she walked over to me and told me she didnt like me coming on to her guy. I  smile and asked her if he is flirting with her and if he liked her …and wanted to know if she likes him in return. She said yes.

I was so hurt and I tried really hard not to show my feelings but I was dying with jealousy on the inside..

I was so devastated but this is what I did….. I encourage her to be with him. Dont know why I wanted to do that because I was dying inside. I guess I liked her and I liked him and I just thought they are age appropriate….

He spent all day with her.. even went  to lunch together… i was acting and feeling rejected as if we had a relationship going…. It was here that I realize just how strong my emotions has gotten.. My heart was breaking and my hopes of experiencing this marvelous species of a man was lost…

I thought he likes me; I want him to like me.  I could not function or focus.  I was too distracted with them..  I cried, yes cried because I thought thats the end of my story.  Well my day was ruin I couldnt wait to leave and everywhere veronica went so did he and so did my eyes. 

When I was leaving ,I seek him out… and I found him… He was talking to her… I went over to them ask him if I could see him. He came to me and I spill my guts. I told  him just how much I like him  and how I wanted him and how I have made love to him a thousand times in my mind.

Well he just casually blew me off tells me it was all for fun and that he does not like me like that. Of course my heart sank and I was so upset. I came home in tears and I decided to text him exactly how I feel. I pour my heart out saying things that was not even appropriate, but I thought it didnt matter because it was over. He now has veronica.

 So he text me back telling me that he didnt know that I felt like that and hes sorry if he hurt me but he was for real and still is…Still is?? I didn’t really expect that answer..

I thought I would leave things as is.. .. It was the beginning of a very emotional roll-a-coaster for me. So I kind of gave up on him but try to remain his friend.

I would still text him and seek him out especially after my shift to talk to him,  inquiring about his relationship with  veronie.  acting all interested … but still a bit jealous…

  I would also ask her about them too… I would try to advise her and encourage her to like him. And at the same time feel like a hypocrite because here I am still wants him still feel for him and with my heart breaking Im playing nice.I do like her and I thought he was the best.

..He would still talk  about us getting  together and I wanted to …so tempted…but every time I see him with vernie I felt unsure. 

There was a little episode involving him and this other girl at the store…( every girl want a piece of his sexy ass). She got jealous of him and vernie and started a rumor about him and her. So I said oh shit, I dont need this drama.  But he started to seek me out to talk to me…showing interest in me.. starting again to flirt with me… and of course I love this attention and when he again start to imply us getting together I was more than willing.

he called me.. we talked about us and what’s been happening between us..and our desire to  get  involved… I now realize he has been thinking about me sexually….So I agreed to enter a relationship with him…. eagerly..

  We both agree it would be casual for long as he was single and if and when he find someone else it would mean the end of us. And I agreed to the terms, thought I could handle a fling without getting emotionally attached.  You see I had build up this fantasy with him and I wanted to experience him.

I didn’t even asked about veronie… I didn’t even care… all that matters is …I’m going get my chance to enjoy him as much as I want to… and i couldn’t wait for that time to come..

We made a date one evening …. I was so excited and a bit nervous.. as I got ready I was getting so flustered and getting a stir with thought of loving on him.. and having him loving me..I was anxious just to be next to him..

but at the last minute he cancelled because his brother got himself in some kind of trouble ad he said he have to go take care of him…, and I thought WOW!! What a guy so dedicated to his family. I was so intrigued by him from the beginning.

I was very disappointed to say the least.. but I understood.. I was so impressed with how caring he was and how loyal and kind he seems to be..

and I waited impatiently for the next time….