I began to see him in Veronicas presence again… my heart sank.. I thought we were getting closer at one point.. he would playfully tease her as he passes by her… which sent a jolt of jealously through me… it would leave me so furious.. . That it brought tears to my eyes in anger…
I was a complete mess.. this should have been enough for me to walk away from him…but instead I still try to talk to him..
I was a fool for this cold. Aloof and inconsiderate guy… and with my knowledge of this.. I still longed for his touch.. his kisses and his loving…
It was a Saturday in April I got a phone call from him….asking for $40.00. My first reaction was no way… but I do wanted to see him.. I so want to be with him… so I thought… it’s a way to get to see him…. so I asked him…
“And what do I get in return for giving you this money MYLOVELOVE…..”
He asked me what do I want…???? So I told him.. “ you”…
Surprisingly.. he agreed.. so I excitedly tell him to come and get it….
And he did…
He walked in .. and I led him straight to my bedroom….I immediately started to seduce him and he allows me to… he stayed a couple of hours with me.. he fulfilled his end of the bargain.. and he gave me what I requested..
Although I instigated most of our love making.. he had no objections… and he loved me just like he always does.. I fully enjoyed our little session…I felt really good to be with him again…and while I was lying in his arms and enjoying his delicious kisses .. everything was perfect…
I gave him the $ 40 like I promised as he was leaving…he left me with a bear hug and a kiss.. and promise that he will stay in touch…
After he left I felt a bit foolish because I let myself be used by him…but I console myself by thinking that….seeing him and getting to love on him was all worth it. I was hoping that he didn’t think himself a gigolo and that I paid him to have sex with me….
Because…
That was exactly what it boils down to … I exchanged sex for money… was I so desperate for him that I allowed myself to stoop to such level.. it made all the sense in the world and I thought I was being clever and sneaky…
I took the time to wallow in the joy I got from being with him… but as usual it was short lived..
I made myself a promise that I will never again do that…. hmm 🤔…
I suspect the money was for veronie birthday. and even when its hurts my feelings…. I tried to justify my actions… telling myself again that it feel good to know he needs me for something and stupid old me thinking if I am kind to him I will win his loyalty and he will remains friends with me always…
I’m hoping I was right about this… I really want to be right…
That following Monday We worked the same shift. It was only a hour into the shift when he walked passed the front end and headed outside accompanied by one of the managers….. his demeanor was very stern… and even though he had to pass my register… he didn’t even glance at me..
The manager walked back in a few minutes later without him… I had a sinking feeling.. something wasn’t right…
I know he had an incident in the parking lot a few days before.. involving a customer.. he had accidentally hit her car with the shopping carts… she complained and he was up for reprimanding..
Could it be that they dismiss him because of the accidental incident..???!!! I tried to find out what happened with him and was told…. that he got fired…
I became so emotional.. my mind was in a whirlwind… my thoughts was going berserk… apart from being sad that he loss his job… I was selfishly thinking about us.. and losing contact with him… how am I going get through my days without his presence????!! My only connection with him is here at work…
I tried texting him to find out from him directly what went wrong…. he just completely ignores me… I got no response… this makes the more afraid and scared that I’m losing him… for the rest of the day I lost complete focus on everything.. I had to force myself to concentrate …
If only he answered me… it would ease my mind a little thinking that I won’t lose contact with him.. but he just ignored me totally…
I was in a melancholy mood all day..the end of the shift could come fast enough.. I got home and I tried to make contact again.. still nothing… I became overly anxious accepting the fact that I have lost him for good…
I lie there sobbing into my pillows.. crying for a love that was never mine…
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TO BE CONTINUED…..
nita0216blog 
So intense🌹
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